No, it's not really much, but it was a big deal to me when there's been nothing for alost 6 months. I was attacting her mind, alot had been sent by her the past 2.5...plans made, ect. Don't know what happened, caved and contacted him..now it's "I never loved you as much as I love him, I should never have married you, ect." Have to take the cake away. Of course, I'm not arguing, I'm not fighting, just indifferent. I suppose I have to let him fulfill ALL of her needs now..almost like a Plan A while I'm preparing mentally to walk the cake away. She's angry...I don't know if it's because I found out again, or if it's because I'm not "fighting" for her by getting in arguements anymore. She's short with the kids, stomps around. Not much I can do but letter do her thing and act 'as if'
Course' I'm dying inside.
"Sometimes, if ones' words are not better than silence, once should be silent."
"No, it's not really much, but it was a big deal to me when there's been nothing for alost 6 months."
But that doesn't matter if it's a big deal to YOU. She has to be the one that it's a big deal to.
"I was attacting her mind, alot had been sent by her the past 2.5...plans made, ect."
Again, that's not attracting her mind. Just because she made a few plans, etc. doesn't mean anything. She wants her mind seduced. She wants the fantasy. She wants stimulation to make her feel something. Anything.
"Don't know what happened, caved and contacted him..now it's "I never loved you as much as I love him, I should never have married you, ect." Have to take the cake away. Of course, I'm not arguing, I'm not fighting, just indifferent. I suppose I have to let him fulfill ALL of her needs now..almost like a Plan A while I'm preparing mentally to walk the cake away. She's angry...I don't know if it's because I found out again, or if it's because I'm not "fighting" for her by getting in arguements anymore. She's short with the kids, stomps around. Not much I can do but letter do her thing and act 'as if'
Course' I'm dying inside."
Yes that happens. But you continue to concentrate on you.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Hey Bond, thanks for the response. Just stressed, apologies. She's 'made her decision" as of last night. I'm still hoping everything I've read rings true, and I shouldn't believe everything I hear. When she talks, I get 'he had nothing to do with this marriage falling apart' and again am reminded how I was so distant. Of course, frustrated I argue she can't possibly figure out 'if she's making a mistake' when she's involved in a fantasy..but, it makes sense to her that she can. Lawyer said not to leave unless absolutely necessary. Hoping it's not too late to make a difference. She mentioned she wants me to spend asuch time with the kids, as I'd like to spend with her. Taking that as a hint. Kids and I going swimming tonight, then I think I'll dress nice, and go see a show. Wow this [censored].
"Sometimes, if ones' words are not better than silence, once should be silent."
That's where I'm stuck. I've read the books. If I do most of the talking, I should say little, and keep my conversation short Yet pleasant, I shouldn't pursue, but GAL, which I do. I have ZERO idea how to change how she FEELS. Trying to be the best for me and the kids right now. Just lost. For instance, last note, huge chat about OM. She was upset, said 'don't worry, I am t be sharing the bed with YOU tonight, I wake up this am and she's there again. I suppose I try to rationalize behavior. If she wants to him, why come to bed with me? If she's trying (as she says) to figure out her feelings/decide if she's making a mistake by leaving the marriage, why sneak around on a phone hoping not to get caught. Seems to me by doing so, she's already decided. I don't get it. What's tough is trying to decipher what's true, and what's not, as there's been so much sneaking around. Still feels like a lot of blame-shifting going on
"Sometimes, if ones' words are not better than silence, once should be silent."
Does t seem possible to change how she feels, if she's so very distant. Ive been trying to be a 'leader' a d not appear weak, but it ain't so easy with the massive wall up
"Sometimes, if ones' words are not better than silence, once should be silent."
Thanks, you're dead on. Can't promise, but will try, absolutely. Let her do what she will, and react to nothing, concentrate on me and the kids, and avoid playing the game. Just continue to GAL, move forward with life. Paranoid, absolutely.
"Sometimes, if ones' words are not better than silence, once should be silent."
