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Joined: Dec 2012
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Job, I had the same thought about your name here – Job from the Bible, and I’m not even that religious.


M:50
H:52
S28 (my S from previous marriage)
M:17 + 3
BD: 06/12
S: 06/12 - H works in another state
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2BHappy Offline OP
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Can you believe this?

Got H a gift for fathers day. Today I announced what I planned to make for dinner. H said he wanted to go out for dinner, we went..
fast forward 1 hour, H comes to me and says "it weird I paid for dinner on fathers day"
WTHeck, I told him he got his gift yesterday and he wanted to go to dinner today I did not offer to take him today for fathers day.
He said I got u a gift and took you to dinner for mothers day. I reminded him he got me a gift but no dinner...
but really did we need to have this conversation...
Wow.

Anyway had a great day with grandkids they did not want to go home.


Me 43 ring off Oct 2014 (my ring back on Feb 2015)
H 51 (ring off 7/2013)
M 2007 T 1996
S 14
July 2013- H told me he was unhappy.....said he is staying for Son
Feb 18 2014 Found out about OW
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2BHappy Offline OP
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H also tried to have me mark a new trash can for yard waste "this can needs to be marked"
This is a can he put yard waste in and to the curb.
I just said "yes it does".

Hope H marks it cause I have no plans to do it.

Wow, this dude is a mess.


Me 43 ring off Oct 2014 (my ring back on Feb 2015)
H 51 (ring off 7/2013)
M 2007 T 1996
S 14
July 2013- H told me he was unhappy.....said he is staying for Son
Feb 18 2014 Found out about OW
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 28,295
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Yes, he's definitely a mess. He reminds me of a sibling that wants to make sure he gets the same things that his sibling is getting, i.e., like a child.

As for marking the can...in the time he mentioned it to you, he could have marked it himself.

Gotta shake your head over some of their antics.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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2BHappy Offline OP
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Job

I feel something, like I can see or feel like H is changing again, like maybe moving to a new phase? I don't try to pay much attention to him, but I do notice that he seems to seek me out more, that his interactions with me he is not as on edge. BUT then he does do and say many things that make me feel like he is a child again or thinking with a young mind.

He wants my attention, but then again he does not.

At times he and our S14 remind of being very much alike.

When he "tells" me something wrong our son has done, he wants me to "tell" my son instead of doing it himself.

EVERYTHING around the house or about the house, H has to tell me about it.

He has been telling me for 2 days to tell s14 to wash out his helmet, but H and S14 are home every day together, H takes him to football practice each morning, so why has he just not made s14 wash his helmet when he came home?

H wants me to take care of most things, but then he resents me when I do. H wants me to be the "mom" but then he no longer sees me as a woman.

And sex performance is declining, and I can tell it really bothers H, but I know not to mention it at all.

I guess a new phase is coming or a revist of a past phase.

Once again, I'm trying to ignore H , cause right now I dont feel like riding the roller coaster. I want to sit this go round out and just watch H scream on the ride as I watch safely from the ground.


Me 43 ring off Oct 2014 (my ring back on Feb 2015)
H 51 (ring off 7/2013)
M 2007 T 1996
S 14
July 2013- H told me he was unhappy.....said he is staying for Son
Feb 18 2014 Found out about OW
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 28,295
Likes: 112
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The child is coming out to play. You will see different personalities come out to play while they are in crisis. Right now, he thinks he's on the same level w/your son and you are the authority figure "mom". He want's mom's attention, validation and affirmation. Gosh, it's so difficult when you have two teenagers in the house!

Pull up a seat and we'll share the popcorn as he rides the coaster around and around.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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2BHappy Offline OP
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Yes he does really really remind me of a child.

H just called with great news he got a promotion at work. My 1st fear was that his shift would change and we would be home ALOT more together. I listen about his new promotion and slide in "what shift will you be working" He will keep the same 2nd shift. I was like oh cool, inside I was like THANK GOD, we are NOT ready to be home together every day.

He was very excited, more excited then he has been about anything in a very long time. Im excited for him, I told him how proud I was of him.

For the training period we will be home together, so I better get some outside the activites planned ASAP. LOL

It might affect how long we can be out of town at the wedding, but his promotion is worth it.

Job, would you like butter on your popcorn? A drink? Thanks for the company.

Cause I'm NOT getting back on for a while. I have had enough of the ride for now.


Me 43 ring off Oct 2014 (my ring back on Feb 2015)
H 51 (ring off 7/2013)
M 2007 T 1996
S 14
July 2013- H told me he was unhappy.....said he is staying for Son
Feb 18 2014 Found out about OW
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 28,295
Likes: 112
job Offline
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Congratulations on your h's promotion! I'm sure he's really excited about it, as well as he should be. He's worked hard and his efforts have paid off. You did excellent on validating his promotion!


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Joined: Oct 2014
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Hi 2B - pleased to hear about that! I laughed about your 'shift' worries - glad the shifts worked out okay. As long as you make it through the training period. I sense some diary planning on the horizon and you breezing out the door to some new activities.

Weird about the helmet. It's like he sees that kind of thing as 'your' territory. But why not just deal with it? Strange..

Sounds like you're doing really well anyway!

T xx


T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
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2BHappy Offline OP
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So the other day, Friday I started to yearn for real male companionship. I wanted to go on a date, dancing, dining,stare across the table into his eyes, smile and talk way into the night. As you all know that IS NOT going to happen anytime soon, so to quickly get out of that "woe is me" mood, I turn up some reggae and danced with myself. My mood changed quickly and I was good. But I'm really missing that type of relationship. I would even be happy with some just talking way into the night, about any and every thing.

I also have already started to think about my wedding anniversary in August, and trying to prepare my mind to expect NOTHING. At this time I plan to not even get my H a card, no gift, nothing, and I kinda feel like I dont want him to get me anything either, to just let the day go with neither one of us making mention of it.

Maybe it was the wedding I went to this weekend, and the upcoming one with H's family next week, that got me all mushy and thinking and yearing for LOVE.

Then it turned into wishing my grandmother was still alive, I swear she would be able to "walk" me right thru this mess. And I really miss her, she understood me the best and could just talk to me and always make me feel like all would be ok.

HMMMM,,,I better plan some girlfriend FUN time ASAP, been soo busy with work and family things, I better get some me time in very very soon.


Me 43 ring off Oct 2014 (my ring back on Feb 2015)
H 51 (ring off 7/2013)
M 2007 T 1996
S 14
July 2013- H told me he was unhappy.....said he is staying for Son
Feb 18 2014 Found out about OW
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