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http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2578117&page=11


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Job
Yes this I believe is from childhood issues of being poor. H portrays to the world that he is this confident man, but I often see a truer picture of him. He has always spent a lot of time on how he looks, the clothes he wears. He also does not let people get close to who he really is. He is a quiet person who keeps to himself a lot with only a few friends.

Mighty
I agree, and YES I will "DO ME". I can dress myself, and I know when something looks right or not.

Toots
Yes these are some deep issues in my H that he needs to work out within himself.

Soo...I went to an event with some friends, H saw me getting dressed and said "I really like that jumpsuite, maybe you can wear it to the wedding" I just shook my head and smiled and said "actually this was one of my options I was thinking about wearing" I then showed him another dress (I know feeding the monster) and he was like "I like that one too"

I just told him again "thanks for the advice and don't worry about what I'm wearing" "I will be all good"

I'm going to let it go, from now on WHEN he "helps" me dress I will say "thanks" and wear whatever I planned on wearing, this is an ongoing issue that I just need to stop addressing for now.

I did tell him "IF I ask for your advice, its when I'm trying to decide on something and I appreciate your input" But other then that, I'm good and will wear what I want.


Me 43 ring off Oct 2014 (my ring back on Feb 2015)
H 51 (ring off 7/2013)
M 2007 T 1996
S 14
July 2013- H told me he was unhappy.....said he is staying for Son
Feb 18 2014 Found out about OW
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Well done! I think you handled the dressing issue quite well.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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2BHappy Offline OP
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So my new title "I'm doing better" it's so true. And I'm so happy that I'm better and moving forward in a positive way.

I don't feel the need to post as often, cause I guess I really don't "dwell" on the issues with my H, and the current state of our marriage as much.

I "think" sometimes that my H and I are slowly getting better, but I don't think about it much.

I believe my expectations are now very low as it relates to my M. I don't really expect R type situations with my H.

I do expect more sometime then he is able to provide as it relates to s14. BUT I just don't think this is something I will give him a "break" on, I don't think you can take a "time out" from being a parent.

H went to his home town for an overnight stay and my "goodbye and have a great time" was so honest and real and I was glad he was going to be out of the house and maybe have some FUN!

I know my H and I will always be friends, no matter what happens to our marriage. I don't know what he sees or thinks about our marriage or me, OMGoodness I just realized as I typed this, that I have not even had to stop myself from having a R talk, have not even thought about having one. WOW

My daily routine revolves around me and my s14. I'm doing better. And with that, I now truly know that I will be GREAT.

This "on hold" marriage has been pushed to the side by me, I can still see it, but its not in my way of me moving forward anymore.

I give all the credit to GOD, and I thank GOD for leading me to this site and for the people here who are and have helped me thru.

JOB- can I ask what your name means, like why did you select it? I think of JOB from the bible.


Me 43 ring off Oct 2014 (my ring back on Feb 2015)
H 51 (ring off 7/2013)
M 2007 T 1996
S 14
July 2013- H told me he was unhappy.....said he is staying for Son
Feb 18 2014 Found out about OW
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job Offline
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Sure, you can ask me what JOB means. They are the initials of my first, middle and my maiden last name.

I'm glad to see that you are happy and moving forward on your path. Leave your h in God's hands. Okay?


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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2B, you sound good, I enjoyed reading all the positives in your post. Like you said, we come to a point where our day does not revolve around our sitch anymore. It's a part of our life, but does not define our happiness.

Is your cruise coming up? S and I go in a month, we are so looking forward to it smile


Me 48 H 46 S 11
M 2004
BD 8/13
H moved out 2/15
-live in the present, enjoy the beauty around and within you, explore your new future-
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Oh man, 2b.... So much more similar than I thought! Xh was also poor. Very. But always took very good care of what he had.

Appearances meant a lot. To him, that is. It was very interesting, leaving our small town, when we got to his first station after basic training. We had some $ in the bank and he had an entirely different life. The joes would call him a backstreet boy. They all thought he was born with a silver spoon. But xh would never tell otherwise. He never, to this day, let on to what it was really like for him. People would be floored.

That part is interesting to me, as to him sharing that part of his life w HWW. Since they work together... He would never let his personal life into work. Not even pics of his family. Must have been embarrassed of us too?

Anyway... Wow.:. Totally went in, didn't i?!

But, I just find more and more commonalities of these peeps. Interesting.

Glad you are doing well, 2b!

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2BHappy Offline OP
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M4, our cruise is next June, I wish it was coming up sooner. But is fun planning, saving and preparing for it. We are thinking about spending extra days In Florida before the cruise. M4 you will have a great time.

Mighty, appearance is everything to my H. He has been late to work even because he needed to pressed his pants etc.

Job, I was just curios about the meaning of your name, I was way off. LOL


Job, M4, Mighty
Thanks as always for even taking the time to reply in my post, this site saved me from going cra cra.

To be able to vent it out here and talk to folks going thru same thing, very helpful.


Me 43 ring off Oct 2014 (my ring back on Feb 2015)
H 51 (ring off 7/2013)
M 2007 T 1996
S 14
July 2013- H told me he was unhappy.....said he is staying for Son
Feb 18 2014 Found out about OW
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 28,295
Likes: 112
job Offline
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Happy,
Now I'm curious....what did you think the 3 letters stood for?


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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2BHappy Offline OP
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Job
For some reason I had it stuck in my head, that you had selected the name from the bible- Job, as in Job from the bible.

Im sitting here excited and waiting on 4 grandkids to arrive, 2mos, 4year, (2) 10 year olds. I invited them over for food and movies and snacks.

I made the crazy mistake of asking H to give me some money towards food and snacks, he complained of course, so I told him "you know what your right, this was my idea, I should not have even ask you" I told him " not going to make this into a issue, I'm excited about them coming over and I plan to stay that way'

Then as he was leaving for work he told me "thanks for getting the grandkids I know they will have a ball today" he also left out movies the kids would like to watch.

I patted myself on the back for NOT making it into an arugment for not getting myself upset. I was really ok with paying for the items myself, just wanted to get more "junk" food to kinda spoil them a little.

We are going to eat, watch movies and play games. S14 is even all ready to help out and be a good uncle:)


Me 43 ring off Oct 2014 (my ring back on Feb 2015)
H 51 (ring off 7/2013)
M 2007 T 1996
S 14
July 2013- H told me he was unhappy.....said he is staying for Son
Feb 18 2014 Found out about OW
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 28,295
Likes: 112
job Offline
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I'm so glad to read that the grandkids are coming over. All of you will have a great time. Enjoy the time you spend w/them. It's a great time to get some new photos too!

Ah...yes...Job from the bible. You know the old saying "patience of Job"? Well, dealing with crisis people, you most certainly need the patience of Job to heal yourself and travel along the path.

Have fun!


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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