I can't help but wonder if this is an issue from childhood about the clothes and how people in the family should look. Oh, he's definitely wearing the mask of confidence, but he's very insecure about how people will look at his family. He should know by now that you aren't going to allow your son or yourself to leave the house looking like street urchins.
He just needs to be reassured that no one is leaving the house looking anything but the best. This is a tough one, but you've stated how you feel about it and I know you'll be dress to the nines in something stylish and yet comfortable. Count to ten before you respond to any more of his concerns about the "dress code" for the wedding.
If he could just pay as much attention to the other areas of his life as he does to how everyone dresses, life would be far better for all concerned.
Hang in there!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Oh my gosh... striking a chord! Yikes! 2B... seriously, check out the narcissist stuff. I mean... I have... it makes sense... and I didn't even think of THIS part of it!
Lots of similarities. I mean, he wasn't THAT obsessed, but he always found a way to criticize. All the time. Just wasn't up to par. I'm not a high maintenance chick. I attributed to that, however... he would hate if I spent time and money on myself. So... I just couldn't win! But, if I looked hot, and we were going out, he was a happy camper.
Ellie... there is a chance we married a brother from a different mother. The more I hear from you, the more I find similarities in our marriages.
2B. Don't sweat him. Do YOU! I mean it. No matter what you do... if you do it for you, it will speak volumes to him. And that's one thing that was one of the hardest things for me, was go release myself from HIS vortex.
Release yourself, girl. You will feel so good... especially doing you! It will give you so much more confidence, that that's all he will notice and you won't care what he thinks. You will feel damn good and know he is eating it up!
I agree - gosh! As long as you don't turn up in something that insults the occasion, truly does it matter?? I hope you choose a lovely outfit that you will enjoy wearing & feel great in. I hope you wear your hair curly or straight - whichever you feel like. And whatever the impact on your cheeks! I hope you will ignore any appearance concerns from your H, radiate confidence and loveliness & enjoy yourself.
It sounds as though H worries unduly about appearance, presumably from some deeper fears. Perhaps of not being accepted. But really, if you wear the blue dress which brings out your eyes, or the pink which shows off your tan - it matters not!
I hope you have a lovely time....
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Happy, You need to start a new thread! This one is over the 100 posting limit.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
