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Defacto Offline OP
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I took off from work about an hour early because I wanted to get this over with. Plus, I had to pick up two twelve packs for beer club tomorrow at work. When I got home, MIL was still there with the kids. Really? I couldn't get some time to myself on today of all days. But seriously, it was good to see the kids. Plus, I was able to show D4 the flowers I picked up at lunch for the butterfly garden.

Once I got settled, I planted myself on the patio sans shirt with a scotch in hand. I figured, why not get served on my terms? Six o clock came and went. Nothing. So I went to get some wings and a beer around the corner. Of course I put my shirt on first.

While I was enjoying my wings, STBX sends me a TM. "I really wanted to talk to you this afternoon." I didn't reply. She calls fifteen minutes later. I missed her call. I figured it was a good time to say goodnight to the kiddos, so I called her back.

I FaceTimed with the kids for a bit. While chatting, D4 asked where I was a bunch of times. I just said I was outside at dinner. STBX said it looked really pretty there. I was my normal happy self on the call. STBX made it a point to say that I looked really good. She also said she was having a hard time with every thing today. She asked me how I was doing and I said I was doing good.

At the end of the call, STBX asked if she could ask me a question. I said sure. She asked if someone came by at 6. I said no and I kind of laughed and said "was I supposed to be there?" Oops, didn't get the memo.
We said our goodbyes. Since then, STBX called me two more times. Goodness, leave me alone with my scotch!

The good news is that I have great GAL plans scheduled for tomorrow night with my two best friends. What will be, will be. Looks like I'll get served another day.


Me:35 W:30
D:4 S:1
Bomb: 01/08/15, discovered EA & PA
In House Separation: 01/14/15
W moves out: 04/05/15
I tell OM's W about A: 04/15/15
W serves D papers: 06/19/15
Mediation: 09/16/15
D final: 12/01/15
Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 512
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Damn defacto. We are in similar sitches, but you have great taste. Love scotch. I'm a single malt guy myself and laphroig neat is so delicious. Really big on the smokey islay malts. Hope you were able to enjoy and yeah, you don't need to wait for it. Not your job to let it happen. Hope tomorrow is a good one!


M-33
W-33
S-11, S-8
M-11, T-14
BD - 12/26, Divorce Filing and admits to affair (her) 4/18
I moved out 5/23
Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 1,647
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More of a bourbon guy myself. But I'll have to get some scotch and try it out.
Live to fight another day I guess.


At BD - Me: 33 Her: 33; M: 10 T: 15; D: 6 and 3

BD: 3/25/15
S: 4/20/15
D: 11/9/15
Joined: Mar 2015
Posts: 569
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Defacto Offline OP
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Thanks Rip & Matt! It's been s long time since I had two glasses of scotch in a single sitting. I also decided to pack my pipe last night and enjoy a bedtime smoke.

NC with STBX since last night other than an email about D4's school tuition. I usually talk with the kids on my off nights but I think I'll pass tonight due to my GAL plans. My two best friends and I are driving down to a concert. I've been looking forward to this night for months. This band put out a record last year that has become the soundtrack of my life as of late. Tonight should be just what the doctor ordered.

STBX knows I am going to this concert tonight but not who with. I'd like to keep it that way. Keep that mystery going of the new and improved Defacto.

No news on getting served. I know STBX said in the past that she didn't want to serve me at work or while I was with kids. I'm headed straight to the concert from work tonight so I guess the next possible night would be Friday. It's time to make sure my plans that night are on point.

Another day almost in the books.


Me:35 W:30
D:4 S:1
Bomb: 01/08/15, discovered EA & PA
In House Separation: 01/14/15
W moves out: 04/05/15
I tell OM's W about A: 04/15/15
W serves D papers: 06/19/15
Mediation: 09/16/15
D final: 12/01/15
Joined: Mar 2015
Posts: 1,458
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NDY Offline
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Hey D

Hoping this is some crazy indy pop or metal band. Either way I want to hear stories of crowd surfing. Unless it's a folk concert or gospel choir, then that would be REALLY inappropriate :-)


Me:43 Her:42
M:14
S:9
EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts)
PA started 2014/05/30
BD:2014/11/05
I left 2015/10/01
I returned 2015/05/02
She left 2015/06/10
OM still on the go.
Joined: Mar 2015
Posts: 569
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Defacto Offline OP
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NDY,
The concert was incredible. Unfortunately, I can tell no true stories of crowdsurfing.

The last two days have been pretty normal. On Tuesday, STBX attempted to FaceTime while I was driving down to the concert but I didn't answer. Yesterday, STBX texted me a pic of D4 at summer camp and then called me a few hours later. I didn't respond or answer either one. I did FaceTime with the kids last night. I was supposed to have the kids last night but STBX got called off from work so she offered to have them another night. Catch 22, I will take another night to myself but I really miss the kids dearly. Nonetheless, it was fantastic to see and talk with them. The interaction with STBX was cordial but brief.

I'm doing well. Every now and then, something will trigger an emotion but as time passes, I think I'm just getting more comfortable with the inevitable reality. Yesterday, I cruised from work early to work "remotely" and I just laid out on the patio for a bit. I also started preparing and taking notes for my next discussion group meeting on Saturday night. Not a whole lot I can do other than focus on my own happiness and remaining a dedicated father.

Speaking of fatherhood, until yesterday, I forgot that Father's Day is this Sunday. I'm not sure what my personal plans are but I have heard STBX and D4 allude to a gift so they might have something planned. I will have the kids later on Sunday so I think I should find something fun to do with them, maybe go to a friend's house or check out that indoor playground again. Not sure.

Any ideas or suggestions for Father's Day? I imagine I should just go along with whatever STBX and D4 have planned for me, right?


Me:35 W:30
D:4 S:1
Bomb: 01/08/15, discovered EA & PA
In House Separation: 01/14/15
W moves out: 04/05/15
I tell OM's W about A: 04/15/15
W serves D papers: 06/19/15
Mediation: 09/16/15
D final: 12/01/15
Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 1,647
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Wishing you the best GB.
Enjoy your Fathers Day weekend.


At BD - Me: 33 Her: 33; M: 10 T: 15; D: 6 and 3

BD: 3/25/15
S: 4/20/15
D: 11/9/15
Joined: Dec 2014
Posts: 1,686
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Hi Defacto,

What golden advice you have been receiving. I'm very happy that you've been getting such fantastic support.

As far as your question, "Any ideas or suggestions for Father's Day? I imagine I should just go along with whatever STBX and D4 have planned for me, right?" I think as long as you are ok with it, go along with their plans.

Please keep a PMA and take things slowly.

Have a great Father's Day weekend my friend.

Bob


Me:55 yrs/W:51 yrs (has MS)
M:14 yrs
T:15 yrs
No children together--3 each from previous marriages
Wife Moved Out: 10/19/14
Wife Filed for Divorce: 10/20/14
Divorce Final: 10/21/15
Joined: Mar 2015
Posts: 569
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Defacto Offline OP
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Thanks Matt and Bob for the Father's Day greetings!

Today was the day. Just got served D papers 10 minutes ago. I'm feeling apathetic towards it right now but I'm probably in denial. I scanned through the paperwork and everything seems amicable but I need to get it over to my L this morning to have a look.

Everyone is off the mind to delay the process, right?


Me:35 W:30
D:4 S:1
Bomb: 01/08/15, discovered EA & PA
In House Separation: 01/14/15
W moves out: 04/05/15
I tell OM's W about A: 04/15/15
W serves D papers: 06/19/15
Mediation: 09/16/15
D final: 12/01/15
Joined: Mar 2015
Posts: 569
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Defacto Offline OP
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Joined: Mar 2015
Posts: 569
Would you believe that STBX had the audacity to call and leave a voicemail asking if I had been served this morning? Wow!


Me:35 W:30
D:4 S:1
Bomb: 01/08/15, discovered EA & PA
In House Separation: 01/14/15
W moves out: 04/05/15
I tell OM's W about A: 04/15/15
W serves D papers: 06/19/15
Mediation: 09/16/15
D final: 12/01/15
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