Not Confused Anymore!!

[Joe46]

Well I can't sleep so I thought I would post. We will see how this goes from my phone. I kinda figured a long time ago that she was having a EA. I figured when she moved that there was someone else. I was just hoping that the kids would not be thrown right into that. What a sicko!! She leaves the guy at a hotel in another town while she comes and picks up the kids. Than picks him up on their way back. Now D12 is going through her nightmare. No wonder she has hardly talked to me since they left.

I feel so bad for the kids. S7 doesn't really know what is going on. D21 is devastated.

He can have her as far as I am concerned. Good luck! I don't care to be involved with a lyer, cheater and verbal prostitute. Now that D12 knows the truth about her mom, I will be switching my legal separation to divorce!!

[Vanilla]

Joe

Thank you for the update.

A random guy from a hotel in your D12 life you haven't vetted? Time for action, it's important can the kids stay with grandparents until you access them?

Get some L, urgently, I sense this is very important.

I am here listening.

V

[Joe46]

I have to call L this afternoon. He is out right now. I am making arrangements to get them back ASAP!! S7 says he wants to stay till he is supposed to come back on the 14th. At least that is what STBXW says. But we all know about her lies. I will ask him myself. I also need to check with L since he filed a temporary agreement with the court.

This is not some random guy. This is the guy I suspected she was talking to since October. Found his number on her work phone and I got the tail tale of why it was on there!! I just never had proof. But this is why I DBed like I did. Like I said, now the legal separation papers get turned into divorce papers. I do not want any part of her lying, cheating ways. I do not want to reconcile ever.

Kids grandparents ( her parents) don't want to get involved. Plus she has told them lies about me of course. They are shady anyway! And now supposedly, I borrowed money from them and signed a letter that I would pay them back. This is news to me!!! So I will be calling her parents to get a copy of this "letter".

[Vanilla]

OK, so you know who this guy is? Is he friend of the family and his background. I guess your kids will give you the nod? If things go down who is the bail out?

Joe, I think this is my very first 2x2 ever, and you know I want to be the internet aunt even if I get there by boat.

V

[Joe46]

Thanks for being the Internet aunt V,!.

All I know about the guy is his name. No he is not a family friend that I know of. I did a search back when I discovered the number and followed my suspicions. I believe she met him on the internet and they have been talking ever since fall of last year. Maybe sooner. He is 34 and that is all I know. Teagan told me he has a daughter same age as S7.

To me the whole thing is sick. But unfortunately she still has the right to see her kids. This was going to happen sooner or later. I can't make the kids come home early. D12 said she wants to stay awhile longer now. I don't know what to think.

I am hurt they are there with this going on. I tried to handle this the right way and my 2 children end up staying with their mom and her new boyfriend who she has been in a affair with since fall last year. Goes to show that no matter how hard you try to be good and do the right thing, doesn't really matter. The people that do whatever they want and hurt whoever they want, still get their way. And just keep on going.

I am hurt my kids are replacing me so easily. I thought I was a good Dad. I am hurt that I was replaced just like that!!

[Vanilla]

Whoa there.

Replacing you?

Now there is some fear somewhere Coming from Joe and emerging! What is it?

Is that really possible?

Can you reframe it first, what other reasons could there be for your D?

Then let's ask what is the fear and where did it come from?

V

[Joe46]

I did not mean what I said. I was just having a bad night. I know they are not replacing me. I know they are stuck in a bad situation. I can never be replaced as their father. I am a good Dad and love my kids very much. My poor D12 probably doesn't know what to do. She doesn't want to upset her mom, but also doesn't want to be around a guy her mom is screwing around with. I can sense it in my S7 also.

It is sad that D12 told her mom that she wanted to spend the rest of her time with her without OM. Of course mom did not listen. It is hard for me to let go of the situation. There is such a big part of me that wants to go snatch my kids away from her. But unfortunately she still has a right to see her kids.

At least my kids are seeing me doing the right thing. They are seeing Dad has morals, is honest and puts their feelings first.

I think going through this, we all have fears. I was afraid of losing my wife and marriage when I first came here. Now since I am getting a D, there are the fears of what goes on with kids when they are with their mom. I have seen first hand what STBXW does in these situations. She lies to kids, OM and her family and friends. She told me when we met that she was divorced. Wasn't till a few years ago that I found out she didn't file divorce papers till after we had been together almost a year. Than it took awhile for those to even go through. Her kids did not know either. They were young. Also found out recently that my step kids dad was trying to see his kids more, but got shut down by her. Very manipulative! Lies come easy to her. The truth always comes out eventually. Might just take 15 years!!!

[Vanilla]

Phew

That's a relief, you had me spooked at little. Aunty V had the coldly wobbles......


V

[Joe46]

Lol!!! It will be OK aunty V!! Don't fall over!!!

I believe what I am going through is what DBing is all about. The only thing I have control over is me. I have to be patient and be the best dad I can be. I am showing my kids what I stand for. Honesty, loyalty, faithfulness and caring. Doing good unto others. I believe God has a plan for me. I trust him. And I believe in karma. I believe what comes around goes around.

I believe there is someone out there for me that is not a lier and cheater. Someone that won't run when the going gets tough. But right now it's all about me, my kids, my dogs, my daughter's gunea pig, my golf game, my job, my friends, fishing, football is coming, college football is coming, school sports, college basketball, March madness and then back to the nice weather again!!

Wew! I have got alot going on! And I still have to clean Sandi house, clean Belle's house AND car, go see V, drink some tea in a stripper bar called Lapland with Santa and some hot female Elves, go back to Belle's clean some more, play a dance game with Belle, allow Belle to get me drunk(good luck) and take advantage of me! And than come home. Man what a trip!!

[Vanilla]

You can get drunk and high on life instead. When we have control of our minds then who needs substances. So it sounds like a great adventure to me.

When you are already in China you don't need a plane, so it is with heaven, hell limbo or purgatory they are in our mind to travel to. The journeys can be done through your mind. There is a place in our dreams we can all meet up that we can go to sit and talk, meditate our way to it.

Have you seen the film Lovely Bones? It's slightly surreal and the place of rest is where I imagine we can meet in a big field under an oak tree. I love that film and it's set.

I shall be relieved when your D and S are home with you.

V