Thank You V! Today has been a little better. I think kids are adjusting some. Talked to lawyer. He is going to put something in the documents that states that kids are not allowed to leave with WW until I know exactly where they are. I am so thankful for the great people I work for and with. They are great support for me and my kids. If D12 calls and needs me to run home, I can just go. Takes 2 minutes to get there.
I have some fun things planned with kids before they leave. Older step kids have been in touch with me also. D21 has been good support for D12. S19 is still going to be staying with me. He is gone most of the time for work anyway. Just comes home on weekends. Oldest S23 only knows what WW told him about situation. He is the only one besides little kids that does not know of WW employment. It feels good to not having that type of work going on in my home.
Is it wrong for me to have a small desire for WW to come to her senses on day and say she screwed up what could have been a good thing? I really don't want to reconcile, I would just like to hear those words. But if I don't, at least I know I tried all that I could and I did my best to stand for my marriage.
Me:44 EXW 44 Wonderful Children M11, T14 BD 6/14 OM Confirmed Divorce Final 2/25/16 "It works if you work it!"
Is it wrong for me to have a small desire for WW to come to her senses on day and say she screwed up what could have been a good thing? I really don't want to reconcile, I would just like to hear those words.
It's only wrong if you make something you have to have for closure. Your WW is the one person you want validation from that she hurt you and she messed up. Right now, she is the one person you won't be getting that from, you may never hear that. It's normal to want it, just makes sure it's not something you NEED.
Best of luck, Joe. Sounds like each day is a little better.
M-33 W-33 S-11, S-8 M-11, T-14 BD - 12/26, Divorce Filing and admits to affair (her) 4/18 I moved out 5/23
Had a pretty good day yesterday. Kids are doing well. At least WW is calling and saying good night to them now. Have some fun activities planned for the weekend with them. D12 is going to spend the night at a friends house tonight. They have been very close. S7 and dad are going to have a guys night!
Me:44 EXW 44 Wonderful Children M11, T14 BD 6/14 OM Confirmed Divorce Final 2/25/16 "It works if you work it!"
Did you go golfing? If so, I hope you had a great time!
I loved what V wrote the other day: "You can never run from yourself" How true that is.
Keep standing tall my man!
Bob
Me:55 yrs/W:51 yrs (has MS) M:14 yrs T:15 yrs No children together--3 each from previous marriages Wife Moved Out: 10/19/14 Wife Filed for Divorce: 10/20/14 Divorce Final: 10/21/15
Had such a fun time with my S7. It is so funny to watch him swing the club and hit the ball.It is really nice to get out there and relax from all that is going on in my life now. A huge stress reliever. I think I am handling the stress okay so far.
I am still baffled by all the newcomers constantly coming on here. Each story is different but also similar. Each of us dealing with the same type of issues. Maybe we all did not read "Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus" enough times before we all got married. It is sad to see so many marriages and so many kids effected by all this.
I still come on here and read threads, but I don't feel right offering advice. I need to work on myself and my issues before I can help someone else. Also, my marriage did not get saved. I believe that I did, but not my marriage. I came her to DB my marriage and that did not happen. I did help myself in alot of ways. I doubt I would have ever been able to handle these last 5 months without this place. I also doubt I would have been able to stand for myself without this place. I have spent the past year thinking that there was something wrong with me because I am bothered by my W's work. I tried to just deal with it. I would go about a couple weeks and than I could not stand it anymore. I can't tell you how much of a relief it is to not have that in my house anymore. But it does not feel good that WW chose this profession over me and our marriage. But it is what it is.
Me:44 EXW 44 Wonderful Children M11, T14 BD 6/14 OM Confirmed Divorce Final 2/25/16 "It works if you work it!"
Thought I should vent on here a little. I know it is not good to bottle everything up inside. I struggled a little yesterday. I could feel a little bit of the hurt inside. It bothered me and to be honest, it is bothering me to be writing about it. I should be strong. I should not be having hurt feelings over someone leaving me because her job was more important and she wasn't happy with me anymore.
I feel like it is a bit of a blow to my self esteem and self confidence. I hope this changes because it does not feel very good. I think it feels so bad because I thought I was a good husband to my W. I admit that I was not perfect. But I was there for her. I took care of her. We laughed together and raised a family together. We enjoyed each others company. At least we used to.
I think what started these feelings was S7 cried Saturday night because he missed his mom. He has had a rough time this weekend. I also think this being our first weekend without her here effected us all. D12 seems to be doing better.
I have come to a realization over the weekend. I spent the 15 years that we were together being compared to her dad and brother. They are both ranchers out in CA. When I quit ranching and started this job in lumber sales, it may have changed her attraction to me. But it wasn't until the past year and half that I noticed her changing. She seemed so much happier that we were not stuck on a ranch somewhere. Her attraction to me seemed to improve when we first changed from this lifestyle. We had more time to be together. We had more time as a family. I should not have to change my career so my W is happy with who I am. I want someone to accept me for who I am no matter what job I am doing.
Me:44 EXW 44 Wonderful Children M11, T14 BD 6/14 OM Confirmed Divorce Final 2/25/16 "It works if you work it!"
