Hi NLW and Peace, it is strange, but I haven't thought that much about the phone call. I noticed when I woke up this morning that I was thinking about all sorts of other stuff, and not very much about xh even though we had a long telephone conversation
You do not forget a long (30year plus) and very close relationship, but the hurt and pain have gone, for the most part, and over the past few years I have built a life that suits me. It would probably drive many people crazy, but I am not living anyone else's life!
The thing is I am comfortable in my own skin and I don't feel the failure that I did for so long after my xh left.
But I don't resent him any more.
I think they do slip in and out of denial, but I am not sure that this is what the reent contact is about. My xh truly misses his children (and me I suspect) and believes he can have a relationship on his terms with us without disturbing the equilibrium of his life. Wel, we will see where that goes.
relationships are all different and maybe it can be a peaceful relationship as he continues to move forward and away from the crises I hope the best for you--it is great that you have no pain or anger anymore- and your kids
It would be best to form some kind of peace with it all
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
Hey my friend. First of all, I am so happy to read how at peace you are. Took a long time to get there...us, right? But we did and in our own way.
I agree with you. I think he is missing parts of his old life. The great thing is that you get to decide how much you want him to re-enter yours and in what capacity. And you will do it from a place of strength and in your wonderful "Bea" way.
You are an amazing woman, Bea. Honored to have walked my journey among you.
Bea, I’ve been following along with your updates. Finally, have some time to post. It’s been very interesting to “watch” the development… The phone calls, the b-day present… Next thing you know he will show up with the flowers and a bottle of champagne, LOL.
It is very comforting to know that the hurt and pain are gone from your life. I’m looking forward to these days… for me…
And always thanks for visiting my thread
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
Bea- just like Bright I have followed your posts and am so glad to see you are living a life that brings you contentment. Just reading how the pain fades is a huge comfort. I must admit that I am fascinated by your XH's behavior as well.
Thank you for sharing your story with us. Enjoy the gift but most importantly, enjoy your life.
M:25 years at BD w/ 2 daughters BD: 5/14 Separated 6/14 - H moved cross country w/OW D Final 9/17
“I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.” ― Maya Angelou
Bea, I'm glad to hear that the gift turned out to be a "nice" one. I have this feeling that you'll be getting more of those "nice" gifts in the future.
Enjoy!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
