The one problem I have with outsiders saying "dump her/him" is that if one actually follows through with that so-called advice has to live with the outcome. Those people do not have to live with that choice but YOU do.
Some advice, eh?!!?
Again, they don't know what they're talking about at all. Unless they've actually walked a mile in your shoes, then SHUT THE F@CK UP for real.
My answer to them would be this:
"I know you think you're trying to be helpful by saying "dump her" but it would be much more helpful to be supportive. If you cannot say anything nice, then don't say anything at all."
Just adding another vote of confidence for you. Whether or not the situation is improving, it's clear that you are - and that's all you can really control.
You are doing very well heavy. I'm pretty much in the same time frame, and understand the pain and thoughts. I too recently have been getting the "dump her" statement. It's all about them wanting us to feel better quicker. Just today I realized that yes it may be over, but it doesn't mean I give up. Until I feel like walking away, it's up to me. No one can take that from us. Keep up the good fight, and God bless.
Awww such nice comments and support guys, I really really appreciate it. It took me a little while to get the whole DB principles but I feel a whole lot better and am a much more aware person a a much better parent. I am thankful for that for sure.
I will gently remind folks with the "Dump Her" comments to kindly STFU - LOL
Heavy - not much to add, but I think you did great with the weekend's interactions. Keep being that great person that I know you are.
Friends with "great" advice: I recently told a friend, who has been supportive of me and my journey what my plans were and how my plans are being complicated by W. He told me to push her out the door and lock it behind her - throw her stuff out.
I told him - though I appreciate the fact that you want my pain to be over, I really do not need help being angry at my W - I've got that covered quite well. If you want to help me, lets talk about.....
He admitted that he had no idea what it is like, he has been married for about 3 years and has no children.
I know that we may have used them for sounding boards, and then maybe selfishly disregard their opinions, but sometimes some support is just wanted. Though I would never wish this on anyone, they just don't get it unless they experienced it.
Keep it up
Me-45 W-44 S21, S18, D15 T-27, M-21 BD Jan 2014 PA revealed March 2014 In-house separation - April 2015 I filed - Aug 2015 She moved out Oct 2015
W texted me 6 times today - all about kid related stuff. Her texts are pretty lengthy too. I have been polite but limited in my text replies with words like OK, thank you, glad to hear, LOL, please take a photo.
What was really weird was she used the phrase "progress in baby steps" when talking about D6 and her frustration with her brother. I thought DB had that phrase copyrighted (haha).
The last two texts, I have not replied to:
W - So far we have had 45 minutes of Spanish lessons
W - I officially hate the afterschool program
I just don't think these necessitate a reply. Besides, I am busy with GAL.
I actually did go look at a used motorcycle today - it was a beauty but don't think I can justify spending $3 grand on a toy for me at this present moment. I took it for a test drive around the block and I still have what it takes to drive a motorcycle!
Lol @ the TM... Time is rapidly approaching and you are about to move out so she has,is, and will spin
You did better with the motorcycle than I did, I test drove it AFTER I bought it... Lol That being said was the 2nd best thing I did with this duffle bag that was handed to me and filled with "the gift of time"
Caliguy - can you clarify time is rapidly approaching . ... Me moving on. .... Detachment time for me or are you referring to something else?
That bike was something else - a Honda that is just the right size for women. Only weighs 350 lbs - easy to handle . On the weeks I didn't have the kids I could fly to work!!!
