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NDY Offline OP
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Hi Tulo

I appreciate the points both you and 25 make, I really do hence my conflict.

I know I need more time to come to terms with this. Being in that house after the D will be a difficult pill to swallow.

For me, right now I'm going to sit on this until she brings up the subject again. I don't expect it to take too long but like all these things you just never know.


Me:43 Her:42
M:14
S:9
EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts)
PA started 2014/05/30
BD:2014/11/05
I left 2015/10/01
I returned 2015/05/02
She left 2015/06/10
OM still on the go.
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 290
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I know you are conflicted and I understand how difficult this is for you. Think you are smart to hang tight and wait to see if she brings it up.

Thinking of you and think you are doing great!


M: 44 H: 43
ILYBNILWY: 7/4-15 Decided to try to reconnect.
"This doesn't work, I have no feelings": 20/4-15
Scheduled "talk" :9/5-15
It's over: 9/5
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NDY Offline OP
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Originally Posted By: Tulo
I know you are conflicted and I understand how difficult this is for you. Think you are smart to hang tight and wait to see if she brings it up.

Thinking of you and think you are doing great!


Thanks. Like everything else here, no expectations, right?


Me:43 Her:42
M:14
S:9
EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts)
PA started 2014/05/30
BD:2014/11/05
I left 2015/10/01
I returned 2015/05/02
She left 2015/06/10
OM still on the go.
Joined: May 2015
Posts: 1,917
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Never any expectations buddy. Plenty of resentment and disapointment though!


M 45 W 52
SD22 S9 D8
BD 6 April 2015
Not living together 4 Dec 2015
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Originally Posted By: Huddy
Never any expectations buddy. Plenty of resentment and disapointment though!

I think these are some of the emotions we need to learn to let go of. I've been living in detaching world today. Trying to work out where I was going wrong. I think I may just be starting to 'get it'.

Time will tell.


Me:43 Her:42
M:14
S:9
EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts)
PA started 2014/05/30
BD:2014/11/05
I left 2015/10/01
I returned 2015/05/02
She left 2015/06/10
OM still on the go.
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,720
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Hi NDY

i've jsut tried to catch up with the last few bits on your thread, so i may have missed this but....

is there a reason you can't buy your W out so you stay in the house and she moves?


Both mid 30s, 2 young kids
BD 7sep14
XW moved on long ago, now living with OM1
D paperwork in progress
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NDY Offline OP
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Originally Posted By: jim0987
Hi NDY

i've jsut tried to catch up with the last few bits on your thread, so i may have missed this but....

is there a reason you can't buy your W out so you stay in the house and she moves?

Hi Jim. Thanks for taking the time to stop by. Yes, there is a reason. I can't afford this place on my own. WW will struggle but will survive.


Me:43 Her:42
M:14
S:9
EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts)
PA started 2014/05/30
BD:2014/11/05
I left 2015/10/01
I returned 2015/05/02
She left 2015/06/10
OM still on the go.
Joined: Mar 2015
Posts: 1,458
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NDY Offline OP
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Hi DB friends

If I could move the focus away from the house for a second, I'd like some opinions on walking the tightrope.

I've done a lot of reflection today, and I'm thinking about respect vs detaching. Let me try and explain.

I'm not normally a confrontational person, but when the line is crossed the line is crossed and I make it known. So, here is my pradiciment that I'm struggling with.

WW is in the same room as me texting. Not sure who but I've already said, in a calm measured way that I won't tolirate her texting OM in front of me and S9.

So, last week this would have met with me stating, no, demanding she stop.

This week. Meh.

Which way is correct? I feel Meh is something I need to practice. I ignored it tonight. Trying on the detach suit that's just been re fitted as the last one was the wrong size. But I also feel that the disrespect is something that came from my non confrontational past. NMMNG and all that. Any and all thoughts would be appreciated.


Me:43 Her:42
M:14
S:9
EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts)
PA started 2014/05/30
BD:2014/11/05
I left 2015/10/01
I returned 2015/05/02
She left 2015/06/10
OM still on the go.
Joined: May 2015
Posts: 234
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I used to get angry over texting/Facebooking. I don't let it bother me anymore. If she wants to sit in the corner like a teenager with her little inside jokes and Facebook memes, let her.

It's in my newbie opinion that while she's doing that, if I'm sitting there huffing and getting agitated, then that's showing her I care. Now, I just get up and do something with my daughter. If my wife wants to miss out on her daughter growing up because her head is always buried in her phone, that's on her conscience, not mine.


Me: 39y/o male
Wife: 35y/o
1 daughter, 2y/o
Joined: May 2015
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Morning NDY

I have got to agree with Ralphy here. You know who it is, so don't need to snoop and if that is more important than M & S then it's her loss. You keep on the path with S - he's the most important person right now.


M 45 W 52
SD22 S9 D8
BD 6 April 2015
Not living together 4 Dec 2015
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