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#2572251 05/27/15 01:10 PM
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I can't believe that after 15 years I'm back here again!!!! This is my 2nd marriage. It's very hard to not think I'm the world's worst husband because it's happening again. My awesome son says to just look at the news and I'll see there's way worse out there. I thank God for my son!

My wife left w/o any warning last Friday. I was out of town with my mom going to OKC to decorate graves. Since my dad just died April 29 I went with her...she & dad always went & I don't think she would have this year if I hadn't offered to go.

So yes, I'm also dealing with my dad just dying. And my job has sucked terribly since last fall which has added a tremendous amount of stress...and I don't doubt I've brought some of it home and allowed it to cause stress in my marriage.

So I got home late last Sat nite and found she'd left...leaving me a note. She didn't say why. There was no warning from her.

Upon checking bank accounts Sun morn I found that she took almost all the money out of our joint accounts. All totaled she took $9,000.00! I feel like this is a very bad sign as she's seemed to have jumped several steps.

I got very mad Sun when I found out and at one point left her a angry voice mail. Eventually she texted me and said not to call or come over. She moved in with her adult son & family. Then I got several calls from the sheriff's dept saying that if I contacted her again they would arrest me for harassment.
I have made no effort to contact her since.

Yesterday I did some damage control and moved what funds she'd left into a personal accnt in my name only. May have been a wasted effort as it seems she went for a fast cash grab & may not take any more.

So, I really have no way to contact her even if I want to...unless I were to try texting or emailing her son. But I have no plans to make any contact with her right now. I would say this if absolutely LR mode.

I am concerned about her coming back to get the rest of her stuff...while I'm away @ work or something. I don't know that she wouldn't clean out the house...given what's happened so far.

My wise son told me that unhappy people make for unhappy marriages. I have not been happy since last fall b/c of work. Now add in my dad passing & my wife leaving. I am not happy. I can't make any change to some of those things, but I do have a choice with my job. I have been there 36 years (started when I was bout 17) and am so "done" with it. I'm "done" with everything. I will very likely quit my job in the next little bit to save for some happiness.

She knows how unhappy I have been in my job. Part of me wonders if her learning of my quitting would be a LR shock enough to catch her attention of my desire to change. But, I go back to the seemingly hopeless status quo.

I've started trying to prepare my heart for the worst with my marriage. I don't know how much more shock & stress this body & mind can take. Yesterday I found myself several times having major cognitive thinking issues. I came out of the courthouse and couldn't find my car!! I couldn't remember where I'd parked!

So, I guess I'll let this go. I'd kinda like to call in for a session but I don't have any money to spare right now. Of course when I quit my job this house will have to be sold.

Thanks for letting me rant...I haven't done well with my journaling the past several days.

Ron #2572264 05/27/15 01:35 PM
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So, I just got a shower and had more thoughts. This is actually her 3rd marriage. Her 2nd one from what she'd told me was very abusive. But it's her 1st one that I'm thinking about now.

She has never said much about it...I think it was pretty short, and at the time she was in the service, or shortly thereafter.

She is very active with social media and recently told me that she'd reconnected with him. She told me that he was married & had kids...just as she. She also said that her mother was the reason that marriage had broken up. Her mother does need help.

I noticed her journal one day recently and happened to see that it said something to the effect that he said they needed to be careful with their emotions.

So, am I crazy for suspecting that this may be an big factor in what's happening? I know only his 1st name...have no idea where he lives, tho suspect somewhere out east.

Ron #2577769 06/12/15 08:47 PM
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Hey Ron, sorry you're back again but don't do anything you will regret later, take a few steps back and try and rationalize your thoughts, control your emotions and don't let them control you.

You didn't explain what the note she left said?


M35 W33 S14 D12
M14
ILYBNILWY 07/14
BD 7/14
S 5/15

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future"
ILYNOT #2585205 07/06/15 06:49 PM
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Hey Ron,
No you are not crazy. Sounds like something is going on with the ex. However, keep your cool. Don't even let her know that you suspect it. You need to take a few days to calm down. There is nothing you can do right now that will change things. If she want to come get her stuff, let her. Trying to stop her will only cause problems. Don't make my mistake and start begging. It will get you nowhere fast. She is in a fog right now and is not thinking clearly.


Me: 30's W: 30's M: 12yrs
EA: Started 3/2015
MC Started: 4/2015
She moved out and served 6/2015
PA: Confirmed 10/5/2015
2 young kids

"If you do not stand for something you will fall for anything."

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