Ok y'all...this is proof that prayer works..more has happened since my last post but a miracle has happened..my husband came back to us last Friday and we have talked about everything and agreed to leave the past behind us and to start fresh..he has moved back in and ended things with that "woman"..we have put our wedding rings back on and he wants to renew our vows when we can..we still need counseling I think but everything is wonderful so far! I told him I almost gave up but something wouldn't let me and he said he will always remember I never gave up on him even when he gave up..he said I'm more loyal than a horse lol but this happened so fast..i told him I read on here it usually takes at least 6-8 months or more and some people have been waiting almost 2 years for their husband or wife to come back..we're all still a little in shock it happened so fast but yay!
Me-30 H/STBX-32 Daughters-10,7,18 months M-9 years T-11 years A few BD's since 2011 H left-March 16,2015 H came back-June 6,2015 Kicked husband out BC he was still seeing OW-June 26,2015
But. Be CAREFUL. I think the reason a lot of this takes so long is because change doesn't happen overnight. I'm certainly happy your H is interested in R....but what is going to be DIFFERENT this time? How will you make sure that in 6 months or a year, you aren't back here with the same sad tale?
My advice is to not stop with the DB lessons. Keep growing. Keep your focus on you.
You're right-we have talked about what we expect from each other this time and what needs to change..there is still a lot to be discussed but he said he is in it for the long run and he isn't going anywhere again-we will get counseling probably from the same preacher I talked to as soon as we can and I told him if anything like this ever happens again I'm done for good but there are still so many things I want yo work on for myself-he told me all the changes he noticed in me but I am in no way done and I told him before I tell the lawyer we reconciled make sure this is what he wants and he said he wouldn't be here if he didn't want this and he never wants to lose me again but I will be scared and cautious for a while-I will do the best I can though to make it work
Me-30 H/STBX-32 Daughters-10,7,18 months M-9 years T-11 years A few BD's since 2011 H left-March 16,2015 H came back-June 6,2015 Kicked husband out BC he was still seeing OW-June 26,2015
Update-it's been about 3 weeks since he has been back-I thought things were going ok but he ended up seeing her again and cheating on me a few times-he wanted to leave us again to her the other night *after I already told the lawyer we reconciled and we owe people a lot of money from when he wad gone* I didn't know what to do besides say what I had to say and he missed work yesterday and his parents came talk to him about it-he has decided to stay and work on the marriage and leave her alone but there is no trust at all anymore and I don't see this ending well-some texts were exchanged between me and her on his phone yesterday and she told me he is only here for the kids and I wish I was her BC she can make him happy and I can't and she has his heart and is always on his mind..he told me he is unhappy with me and she makes him happy but he doesn't know why-she isn't what I would pick over my wife but I don't get it..i really don't know how to make him happy especially with her being able to make him happy and he thought he loves her...idk what to do BC with 3 kids and no money and a billion things to worry about I honestly dont know what to do to make him want to stay and be faithful
Me-30 H/STBX-32 Daughters-10,7,18 months M-9 years T-11 years A few BD's since 2011 H left-March 16,2015 H came back-June 6,2015 Kicked husband out BC he was still seeing OW-June 26,2015
Part of me wants to let him just go back to her and part of me wants to do whatever possible to make this work-idk what she does to make him happy but I sure dont know what to do...we've come this far but I don't want a cheating lieing husband who always says he is unhappy either
Me-30 H/STBX-32 Daughters-10,7,18 months M-9 years T-11 years A few BD's since 2011 H left-March 16,2015 H came back-June 6,2015 Kicked husband out BC he was still seeing OW-June 26,2015
Just talked to him-he said he wants to be here and put in the hard work and he told her at work he wants her to leave him alone so we will see what happens
Me-30 H/STBX-32 Daughters-10,7,18 months M-9 years T-11 years A few BD's since 2011 H left-March 16,2015 H came back-June 6,2015 Kicked husband out BC he was still seeing OW-June 26,2015
I haven't read through your entire sitch yet, but I wanted to add that you can't worry about making him happy or if you make him happy. You can only make yourself happy.
I agree agree agree with Matt....look for his actions. My husband just came home after a month. I don't care what he says,I'm on the look out for all those actions that show he cares and wants to be here.
