Just a bit of advice. I know others have said it, but don't focus on 2 months. Focus on doing well tomorrow. Your 2 months maybe her 4 months, or if you do well and she sees something it could be shorter. But if you keep focusing on the 2 months and no change in her what then? I'm not saying it's not going to work either. Just keep an eye on tomorrow, if we can make it one day the next is easier. I think it has to be on her time frame, but keep up the work.
I'm not focused on the two months: only reason thread is called that is because of conversation with W 3 days ago. She was "done" and was going to file because I was pressuring her.
I asked her if I backed off for a couple of months if she would finally compromise with me and follow through on the promise she made to me back in November of making an attempt to reconcile. She told me the only guarantee she would give me was that she would "think about it".
I'm expecting it to take longer and am focusing on continues self improvement combined with giving her space. But that's why the thread says two months.
So you filed but do you actually want the divorce? I just keep wondering why she doesn't just pull the trigger?
No, I do not want a divorce. But I am not going to live the rest of my life being married to man who is selfish and self centered.
A part of me wants to pull the trigger and move forward with the divorce and I am not sure why I don't just do it. Maybe because I have hope that he will wake up soon.
So you filed but do you actually want the divorce? I just keep wondering why she doesn't just pull the trigger?
No, I do not want a divorce. But I am not going to live the rest of my life being married to man who is selfish and self centered.
A part of me wants to pull the trigger and move forward with the divorce and I am not sure why I don't just do it. Maybe because I have hope that he will wake up soon.
I hope your husband does wake up and give you what you deserve and hope my wife sees that I have woken up and will give her what she deserves
So, yesterday went well from what you posted. The interactions between your wife and you went well. The reason everything went smoothly is because you weren't acting like a whiny, needy man. I'm glad she apologized to you for being late and forgetful. That's a start in the right direction...but she could flip again at any time. So, don't build up your expectations on those two interactions. You still will need to be consistent and stay the course.
Pointing out and discussing the flower purchase was her way of seeking validation and affirmation. She wants you to notice the things that she's doing around the home. I hope you paid her a nice compliment on them. When she does little things that are nice, compliment her on them.
I'm not surprised that she was more settled yesterday. Why? Because you weren't pressuring her about the relationship and divorce. Stay the course and keep your mouth shut about them.
Your old marriage is dead. A friendship is what starts any relationship and that means treating her as a friend and not your wife for now.
So, today is a new day...time to find something fun, interesting and/or new to do when you get off work. Time to pick up a book and read it or find a good movie and watch it. You need something in your life besides being over at your house all of the time. You need take on some "me" time to explore who you actually are.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
