Where to start in this (not so) sorry tale pt 2

[Huddy]

Detached - well yeah. You told her to go, you didn't ask her not to. Snapping not great, but this is not the easiest sell in the world. I guess she was on her way to OM, so that will make it hard. In another way, it could be seen as good that she was asking if she could go.

[NDY]

Detached - well yeah. You told her to go, you didn't ask her not to. Snapping not great, but this is not the easiest sell in the world. I guess she was on her way to OM, so that will make it hard. In another way, it could be seen as good that she was asking if she could go.

Want to know the real reson I'm annoyed. She said earlier that next month on a weekend I'm out with the lads MIL is going to take S9 away for the weekend. She doesn't realise it's Father's Day.

[Huddy]

Yeah, not looking forward to that one either.

[NDY]

Yeah, not looking forward to that one either.

No, but how she could just dismiss it really gets on my goat. I made sure S9 did special things on Mother's Day.

[NDY]

So had a great day with S9. We have GALLED our wee hearts out. It's been so much fun. We are now having some food before heading home. Certainly better than being at work that's for sure.

[Huddy]

Good for you! And some sunshine as well. Rarer than hens teeth in Scotland.

[NDY]

Good for you! And some sunshine as well. Rarer than hens teeth in Scotland.

Thanks mate. Yea, the weather has held out for us. We had a great time today.

[25yearsmlc]

imo, your arguments re the house, all have to do with the meaning YOU attach to the house.
I'm saying perhaps you ought to be looking at it

from the viewpoint of what it means to your son.

and ftr, I think it'd be terribly awkward FOR OM to be in the house you put energy into.

Your stbxw will have a ton of memories of YOU there, not OM. Same goes for your son and my bet is that in time OM 1) won't be around at all

and or 2) won't want to be in the "real Dad's house"





That's his haven. His sanctuary. What if he doesn't like the OM?

THIS^^ bolsters my point.

How would your SON be better off in a strange environment - with OM there --------if they do not get along?

Wouldn't it be easier on your son if he had his sanctuary close by?



Hi 25. I see where you are coming from. Ok, let me explain.

This place means so much to me.[/b] I didn't come from a weathy background and getting this place felt like we had 'made it'. So many dreams, so much ambition. All dead now of course and I do feel sad about that.

yes, this^^^ is about what the house means to You...

So, what is it you think MY point of view is? What do you think I'm trying to say to you?


Yet, this place means so much to S9. This is his home. Where he feels safe.


Yes, the home means a lot to your Son...(which goes to my original point).

and so far, the only argument for selling it is that you don't want OM to benefit in any way from your efforts.
How does that help your son?


The environment is important. To a man, his home is his castle. Get my drift?

Let me see if I get it...Your drift is that the house is important to you (and your son) but your anger at the injustice of OM benefitting from keeping the home,

& outweighs the value & importance it has for your son. I'm being sincere so tell me, is that it?


Yes, pride is at play here and I will not allow myself to just roll over when it comes to MY house.

Not sure what "roll over" means in this context, but I do see the role of your pride. From where I sit, it pretty much all boils down to it.

I don't know the financial ramifications. But something tells me that you'd sell at a loss to prevent anyone other than you from enjoying the home (even your son).

In any case, I doubt anything I say on this matter will change your mind.

But here's a tip. When we are facing a difficult choice, and we wonder which choice is "right or wrong", chances are the more difficult choice is the morally RIGHT one, b/c if the "wrong" choice were more difficult, the "right" answer would be the easier of the two and we'd make the decision pretty fast.

Make sense?

[NDY]

Hi 25

Ok, so I accept my WW's reduced offer, lose out on £1000's, lose all that I've spent my adult life building towards? Live in a much less enjoyable environment because she had an A? Yes, good life lesson for S9.

As much as I appreciate your points, I do it just seems like I'm expected to roll over and everyone gets the best bits of the M except me. Doesn't make any sense.

[Pyrite]

Hi 25

Ok, so I accept my WW's reduced offer, lose out on £1000's, lose all that I've spent my adult life building towards? Live in a much less enjoyable environment because she had an A? Yes, good life lesson for S9.

As much as I appreciate your points, I do it just seems like I'm expected to roll over and everyone gets the best bits of the M except me. Doesn't make any sense.

i am facing a similar issue myself. seeing L tomorrow for the 1st time. may be slapping the W an ultimatum. We are not moving to facilitate your new lifestyle. In terms of staying where we are balance is in my favour. BUT - my concern has STILL not been fully layed to rest that she can't tip the balance back into her favour by claiming full custody and getting it.

I talked with L on the phone and he thinks we should hit her with a notice of intent immediately. If she wishes to challenge - she can i guess. I think thats how it works.

any suggestions 25? (oh - the only real thing on the other side of town is a few month old job - and privacy which I think is the main one for her)