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job #2570495 05/22/15 12:07 AM
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How can I find the older profiles from the posts you mention in the link on reconnection?


M: 53 H:53 M: 30 years
D:29, D 27, D 25
BD: 6/2/14
Proof of OW 7/7/14
D filed 8/14 (H)
D dropped 1/15 (H)
3/15 H reaching out
06/01/15 Proof of OW still
06/17/15 I filed
Sis #2571267 05/24/15 06:35 PM
Joined: Nov 2014
Posts: 33
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Holidays are the hardest, even when it's not a big one. My H continues to contact me, not often but is definitely the initiator. He has been kind and curious as to what I'm doing. I went to a playoff hockey game last night and he checked in this morning as well as last week when something reminded him of me. I've kept my answers short and sweet and actually was delayed in responding this morning since I was on the tennis court for 2 hours. He's coming home in 3 weeks for a family wedding that I hoped to be invited to but I truly think It's too much too soon. We've had 2 memorials in the last month and were 'thrown' together. Even though I believe he was starting to reconnect before these events, he's moving at a speed that is comfortable to him. I think??

Sis


M: 53 H:53 M: 30 years
D:29, D 27, D 25
BD: 6/2/14
Proof of OW 7/7/14
D filed 8/14 (H)
D dropped 1/15 (H)
3/15 H reaching out
06/01/15 Proof of OW still
06/17/15 I filed
Sis #2571286 05/24/15 07:58 PM
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 28,295
Likes: 112
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Sis,
Sadly, you won't be able to locate the older profiles that I mentioned in the thread because the board has purged the MLC Forum, as well as others in the last year or so. That thread was created in the early 2000's. The data is still accurate otherwise when it comes to reconnections.

Holidays, anniversaries and special events are the hardest, especially the first year. It's good that he contacts you and yes, he's curious about what you are doing. He wants to ensure that you are right where he left you. Try to delay responding to some of his tests and/or phone calls. Don't always be readily available. His curiosity is high and you want to keep it that way.

Time will tell as to what is actually on his mind. He's moving at his pace and his clock is on slow mode. Always try to keep your expectations near zero because you don't want to get your hopes up and then have him say or do something that you weren't "expecting".

Continue to keep the focus on you.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
job #2571297 05/24/15 09:11 PM
Joined: Nov 2014
Posts: 33
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Thank you, is there a way to locate a certain profile? I was given a list of profile named and told they had successfully stories and I'm not sure how to search for them


M: 53 H:53 M: 30 years
D:29, D 27, D 25
BD: 6/2/14
Proof of OW 7/7/14
D filed 8/14 (H)
D dropped 1/15 (H)
3/15 H reaching out
06/01/15 Proof of OW still
06/17/15 I filed
Sis #2571299 05/24/15 09:20 PM
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 28,295
Likes: 112
job Offline
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The way that I locate someone is to go to the top of this forum and look for the word Search (in red) between Active Topics and FAQ. Click on the word Search and type in the profile name and you can go from there. Try it and see if it works for you.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
job #2571301 05/24/15 09:33 PM
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 13,533
Likes: 78
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How to find a user on DB

Go up to
MY STUFF
Click on Watch List
Click on Watched Users
Click on Edit Watched Users
Click on Add a user to list
Type in user - "Never Give UP"
Select her as a watched user.
Click on her name
Click on show all posts.
Click on Topics
__________________________________________________________________

How to find your thread

Try clicking on YOUR NAME
SHOW POSTS
Then at the top right it says TOPICS CREATED - click there

or

My Stuff
Posts
Then at the top right it says TOPICS CREATED - click there


Me-70, D37,S36
Cadet #2571302 05/24/15 09:35 PM
Joined: Nov 2014
Posts: 33
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Brilliant, thank you!


M: 53 H:53 M: 30 years
D:29, D 27, D 25
BD: 6/2/14
Proof of OW 7/7/14
D filed 8/14 (H)
D dropped 1/15 (H)
3/15 H reaching out
06/01/15 Proof of OW still
06/17/15 I filed
Sis #2571538 05/25/15 06:36 PM
Joined: Nov 2014
Posts: 33
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I have question for anyone regarding anniversaries, birthdays etc., our 30th wedding anniversary is in one week, June 1st. My H dropped the bomb on June 2nd last year although I believe he was in crisis almost 2 years prior to that. Do I send a card, call or wait for him to say or do something. We've never made a huge deal about it so I'm ok playing it down. Again, he's been reaching out more in the last 3 weeks than he has all year and there seems to be a shift in the dynamics. We have spent 2 weekends together this last month and both visits went really well.

Thanks,
Sis


M: 53 H:53 M: 30 years
D:29, D 27, D 25
BD: 6/2/14
Proof of OW 7/7/14
D filed 8/14 (H)
D dropped 1/15 (H)
3/15 H reaching out
06/01/15 Proof of OW still
06/17/15 I filed
Sis #2571599 05/25/15 10:04 PM
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 28,295
Likes: 112
job Offline
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If you are the type of person that gives cards, then purchase a general one, nothing too sentimental and/or mushy and have it ready to give to him...but no expectations that he'll give you one in return. If he does give you something, be sure to thank him.

Keep it very simple so that it is not perceived as pursuing or putting pressure on him.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
job #2571612 05/25/15 10:41 PM
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Posts: 33
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I am a card giver and my thoughts were exactly what you suggested. I have no expectations and won't be disappointed if I don't receive one I return.

Thank you, you have truly been a God send. I have felt more stressed lately than I have in the last few months and I attribute it to his change in behavior. It's amazing when you hope for change and start to see small signs how it freaks you out!


M: 53 H:53 M: 30 years
D:29, D 27, D 25
BD: 6/2/14
Proof of OW 7/7/14
D filed 8/14 (H)
D dropped 1/15 (H)
3/15 H reaching out
06/01/15 Proof of OW still
06/17/15 I filed
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