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Maybell Offline OP
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So as far as updates go... Not much to report. STBX sent me a long email explaining his thinking in the settlement he offered and it was an exercise in looking out for Number One, and hey, why aren't you looking out for me too? All basically indicating that he has no real idea who I am or what it means to have fired me from the job of taking care of his interests.

Now that the house is showable (and has been showing, and I'm scared it's going to sell sooner rather than later and then I'll have to cope with the MOVE), I've realized it's time to buckle down on the whole simplifying scheme and I'm a little nervous about it. I'm starting in my office because it's egregious and ought to be the easiest to clean out and I find myself unfortunately getting nostalgic for all the kid art and stuff that's in there. Looking forward to getting my consultation tomorrow.

I'm feeling like I haven't been adequate at the parenting thing like I'd like to be lately. I was a little short tempered today and I feel badly about it but honestly, HOW MANY TIMES do I have to say PICK UP YOUR SHOES AND PUT YOUR DISHES AWAY? And D12 did a little button pushing all day today, till I finally let her go up to my room to watch a movie, then she had the nerve to complain that no one left her alone all day. ???? She had the movie time, which she cut short because she was bored. Hung out with me looking at houses and Pinterest for a while, didn't want to go spend time with her friends, didn't want to play the game the boys and I were playing (and made it miserable for all of us till I fired her). I get that she's frustrated and everything but I wish I could help her figure out how to navigate that without making everyone around her miserable.

I have next weekend off, then the next two with the kids, then a weekend off, then the family vacation. And somewhere in all that I have to manage a full-time job, the end of the school year, selling the house and moving, etc., and OH the divorce is probably going to heat up because STBX doesn't really listen to his lawyer.

Good times.

A lot else is going well for me but I'd really like to be past all this because it's hard to feel like I'm moving forward in my life when all my energy is going into wrapping up this phase of it.

No, I'm not dating and no one is on the horizon either. And sometimes I'm really OK with that and sometimes I'd love to have someone who I just say "Hey, I want to see this movie" and he'll go and hold my hand or put his arm around me and we can nestle in and enjoy things together. But that won't happen till I'm in a stabler place with myself and I'm not sure when that will be.

Last edited by Maybell; 05/25/15 02:13 AM.

Me42, H40
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Originally Posted By: SunnyB
... (In case you didn't realize, Sunny is the second generation of a three initialed poster from a sunny state).


Well I was wondering. But now I know.


M: 57 / EW: 52
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Hi Maybell, you still seem overwhelmed but in a better place about it. Maybe more "has a full plate" than "overwhelmed". You really do seem like you have a handle on what needs to be done. Wishing you all good things in the next few weeks. One of these days, you'll wonder how you did it.

LOL, OD. You must have wondered why Sunny was being so forthcoming on your thread when you'd never heard of her? Oh my!



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Originally Posted By: SunnyB
Hi Maybell, you still seem overwhelmed but in a better place about it. Maybe more "has a full plate" than "overwhelmed". You really do seem like you have a handle on what needs to be done. Wishing you all good things in the next few weeks. One of these days, you'll wonder how you did it.
Hello Maybell,

I was thinking about your sitch earlier today, and seeing SunnyB's recent post reminded me to check in. (SunnyB - thanks!)

I must agree with Sunny, you have a full plate. I also think you have a good idea on what needs to be done. How do you feel about that?

As soon as I click on "Submit" I am dedicating a prayer to you Maybell.

Somehow, you will make it! wink

{{{{{Maybell}}}}}

Bob


Me:55 yrs/W:51 yrs (has MS)
M:14 yrs
T:15 yrs
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Wife Filed for Divorce: 10/20/14
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Originally Posted By: SunnyB
LOL, OD. You must have wondered why Sunny was being so forthcoming on your thread when you'd never heard of her? Oh my!


I was, but I'm such a nice guy, in more ways than one, and all are welcome :-)


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Maybell Offline OP
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STBX did something really nice for me today and it made me feel sad and hurt all over again.

I had my six month review yesterday and I got knocked for taking too much personal time. I can't control it almost at all (and have taken what steps I can to mitigate it) so it's all going to be docked against my leave. Since I have no leave left my pay will be docked. This is so depressing. I'm never absent for frivolous reasons, except once I went to a funeral.

House has been showing well and the kids have been cooperative so that's good.

I'm sorry I haven't been around more but there's nothing to say and I'm feeling so tapped, I have little to offer. We all struggle and I do care. But I think I'm at my limit.


Me42, H40
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Sorry MB. I know how that feels. Sometimes when people say "you are so strong" I wish to myself I had been a bit weaker so I could've given up a while ago. wink

Thanks for checking in. This board wouldn't be the same without you.


Me:38 XW:38
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((((Maybell )))

Be kind to yourself.


Me 38 H 40
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T 8 M 6
BD 10/2013

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Hey Maybell - I'm also taking a bit of a break, feeling stretched in real life. But when I peeked and saw your thread up, I had to see what's up with up. It seems really unfair of your boss to cut your pay. In fact, I've never heard of that, not even cutting vacation days. It sounds harsh, especially in your current situation. You have my support.


M39 D6 D3 (at S)
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Hugs to you, MB. The leave things sounds like a raw real to me. I am sorry you are dealing with that. In terms of STBX doing something nice - can you just accept it for what was (nice) and not let yourself venture down the rabbit hole?


H 37 Me 36
Together 15 years
Married 5 years
No kids
BD Apr 2014
H moved out 2 Jun 2014
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