I am in 8 months now and it's still hard but it gets better, I promise. You will slowly start to get back to YOU and start feeling better about yourself. Your self esteem has taken a beating and it will take a little while to get that back up again. I agree that lists of what to do each day is helpful.
I know you are worth it. You just have to believe it too.
I agree with the others. I would not pay attention to the "promised" date. Your focus should be on day-over-day change and growth. If you focus on the target date, you will limit yourself. Focus on what you can do on THIS day. And the NEXT day.
Your W will know where to find you when she's ready. If you try to have today's conversation again on Day 61, Id bet there's a good chance you'll be right back to square one.
You can set whatever ultimatums or dates or promises you want, but if you haven't ACTUALLY changed and she isn't ready to accept them, things won't end as you hope.
That's why I said reasses in 60 days. I have no expectations of how she may feel in 60 days. I have to use this time to mentally get myself in order to be ok with or without her. Focus on me right?
That's why I said reasses in 60 days. I have no expectations of how she may feel in 60 days. I have to use this time to mentally get myself in order to be ok with or without her. Focus on me right?
You can. I think you will be better reassessing daily. Consider your actions and adjust as needed.
There is no time limit when you should force contact other than what's needed. That ball is in her court now.
1. STOP PURSUING BEHAVIOR COMPLETELY: Only speak of kids and finances. Period. End of Story.
2. Keep all interactions brief and positive.
3. Continue to focus on my children.
4. Continue to be helpful around my house when I am there.
5. Start doing things for myself to regain my confidence and to like myself again. Realize that being accountable for my part in this does not mean that I am 100% to blame. It simply means that the only person I can control is me.
Anybody around this morning? Today is day 1 for my LRT. Today I will go to work. I will see my W twice today when she drops the kids off and picks them up.
She is going to a BBQ. I will not speak to her about anything concerning our R.
I will be upbeat and pleasant toward her when I see her and keep it brief.
I will enjoy the afternoon and evening with my children and parents.
She needs space space space space.....so I need to keep my mouth shut shut shut shut.
Exude confidence. Exude happiness. Show her unconditional love by accepting her feelings for being her feelings and realizing that I cannot control her feelings but can control myself and how I react to them.
