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HeavyD #2571273 05/24/15 06:58 PM
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One step, one minute, one hour, one day, one week at a time. That's our lot right now. But you are definitely strong enough.


At BD - Me: 33 Her: 33; M: 10 T: 15; D: 6 and 3

BD: 3/25/15
S: 4/20/15
D: 11/9/15
HeavyD #2571289 05/24/15 08:31 PM
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And the church sermon was on Hope an the importance of never losing hope. Without hope, there is no tomorrow, no sunny day, nothing to look forward too was the basic gist. There are many biblical references to hope and it just a defining sermon.

I thought it nailed my and all of us here on the board's situation. By the time the sermon was over, I was in tears of course. I didn't even care who saw me!

So, it reinforced me - when I needed it badly. There is ALWAYS HOPE.


Was made a better person by DB'ers
HeavyD #2571363 05/25/15 02:39 AM
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Is this communication?

Tonight I Face Timed my children. I texted W and said "good time to talk to kids" She replied "Sure".

We talked for about 30 minutes with lots of commentary and interjections from W. She wanted to see the hamster which I showed. Again, it's like we are talking to each other but not really. Does that make sense? She even asked me a few questions from outside the screen's vision but I heard her and replied.

Is that considered communication or am I reading more into it?

It was all positive stuff, some jokes, some family history a few inside jokes and just a fun lighthearted conversation.

Baby steps? I don't know. All I know is that it was light, polite, laughter mixed in and it lasted about 30 minutes.

She asked what I was doing tomorrow and I said I had plans with friends and D6 said she wanted to come along. W said it was OK with her if OK with me and I said of course. Any time I get to spend with my kids is a good thing.

What is the group think on this one? Is this really communication.

Does it really matter?


Last edited by HeavyD; 05/25/15 02:48 AM.

Was made a better person by DB'ers
HeavyD #2571368 05/25/15 03:35 AM
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She then calls me on the phone to talk about logistics for D6 tomorrow. Again cordial, polite and she asked if it was trouble to take D6 tomorrow. I said "No, no problem".

She then said she would drop her off at "my house" instead of our house. So that was telling. Hers is the rented apartment and this house is the marital home. Sad.


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HeavyD #2571482 05/25/15 04:07 PM
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She drops D6 off at my house, polite cordial and spoke for a few minutes. I will keep d6 for the day.

I am seeing more of W. I will continue to have PMA and steer clear of any R talks. No movement on D on any fronts. Today marks 9 monnts of separation. I hae grown a lot, gotten a lot more confident and independent. I still miss W and out intact family. The monster seems to have gone back into the cave as well as the spews.

D6 and I are off to the Greek Festival for the day. We will meet up with some friends and make the day of it. D6 may or may not spend the night with me.

D6 talks that W and her BFF AP are still at it. (Sigh)


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HeavyD #2571500 05/25/15 04:53 PM
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Have a great time Heavy!

Bob


Me:55 yrs/W:51 yrs (has MS)
M:14 yrs
T:15 yrs
No children together--3 each from previous marriages
Wife Moved Out: 10/19/14
Wife Filed for Divorce: 10/20/14
Divorce Final: 10/21/15
Bob723 #2571511 05/25/15 05:22 PM
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Heavy,

It's time to change things up a bit. At each interaction, you would want to have at least something new on you...scarf, shirt, skirt, shoes, earings, etc. At least one NEW item.

Then be the first to end things and say you need to be at some place. High time to pull out the mysterious card and LIVE your life.

Ignore all the Negative Nellies telling you to move on because they don't know what they're talking about and just want to see your pain end. They know zip about MLC or DBing.

Carry on....things are definitely thawing out between the pair of you and IT'S GOOD! smile

Last edited by Wonka; 05/25/15 05:23 PM.
Wonka #2571532 05/25/15 06:10 PM
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Ok

I will try this out . One new item for each interaction. When we exchange d6 - I will have new on - not sure what but something different. Maybe a new perfume.

I don't know - she is still entrenched in AP. That is not good as far as it makes me feel . I will rise above but 9 months!!! That's a long time. I know many on this board go longer than 9 months but come on.

At least the divorce talk has diminished. She has not brought it up and neither have I . My L says no news is good news.

Thanks for the tip about the switch up!


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HeavyD #2571544 05/25/15 07:07 PM
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Heavy,

I wouldn't go the perfume route. That is your ace up in your sleeve to be used at another time. Focus on changing up some clothing items, new lipstick, and others in that area.

Wonka #2571554 05/25/15 07:34 PM
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Originally Posted By: Wonka
Heavy,

I wouldn't go the perfume route. That is your ace up in your sleeve to be used at another time. Focus on changing up some clothing items, new lipstick, and others in that area.
Heavy,

You know Wonka is excellent at this. I hope you heed her advice!

*Hugs*

Bob


Me:55 yrs/W:51 yrs (has MS)
M:14 yrs
T:15 yrs
No children together--3 each from previous marriages
Wife Moved Out: 10/19/14
Wife Filed for Divorce: 10/20/14
Divorce Final: 10/21/15
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