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I'm so glad you are going to counseling sessions. My own counseling (& these boards & Alanon) have been so helpful for me in learning not to be hard on myself. Learning how to let go and not beat myself up over every decision... wow its changed my life.

You are a different person then the woman that came here in 2012. You create newspapers - amazing! You moved and created a new life for you and your daughter.

Career-wise I would let the connections you have made now guide you to your next step. I see a window opening up for you.

Also have you explored web sites to write for? where it doesn't matter where you live.

Hang in there lady, you rock!


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Thanks Brook :-) It's like I have my own personal cheerleader.

Back atcha.

The new series with Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin was written for the folks on these boards...even though the WAS on the series are much nicer...But, man they grasped the feelings. Strongly suggest. Laugh and cry.

Ok. So, I'm being a bit more organized and less desperate in looking for this next position. D12 and I are jones-ing...absolutely yearning to find the place to settle...a place/job/environment where we can both thrive.

I'm back to filling my ear's with sermons on finding your purpose. Also, I'm using what I learned from the career planning/What Color is Your Parachute pastor.

He suggested I shoot for the moon because I've never allowed myself that. I tend to take what's offered because I don't think I'm worth what I really want, what really makes me happy. I was told to be as specific as I'm able.

He said I can start anywhere, but I need to consider the things D12 and I value most...Some surprised me.

1. I need a magnificent location to thrive. And, I love the mountains. Even on my darkest days here, the daily glory of the mountains/sunrises/sunsets in a rural area have sustained me and calmed me. D12 loves the water like I like the mountains, so I'm looking for somewhere that has both.

2. I want a low cost of living. I did some research and have learned about the areas with the cheapest rents/food/houses...Years of poverty has instilled in me this need for a place where I feel I could support myself on a small budget if necessary.

3. I like having state and national parks nearby because the area is forced to remain rural.

4. A good church and a climate that supports my going weekly without a whole lot of hassle like plowing. I want a decent church nearby. I like Gospel music. Ideally, I'd love to find somewhere near a church T.D. Jakes visits. I'm really not interested in moving to Dallas. Although, Texas has a really low cost-of-living. I would love a church with Gospel. I realize I can't exactly pick a church long-distance...but I've googled some areas to see what's available.

5. I love the snow...but, truthfully, being a single mom with a sometimes/most-of-the-time crazy choc lab, well, the 200 inches of snow may need to go. I need somewhere that our insane dog can easily be walked year-round. One less thing to worry about.

6. No tornadoes or hurricane risks...D12 obsesses about these things and I'd never be able to leave her alone again.

7. I think I'd like to be closer to family. I would like to be closer to my niece who had the suicide attempt...at least close enough she could come and hang out for a week, month, whatever. We are good for her. I'd also like to be closer to my aunt in Asheville...relatively speaking. I love Asheville, but the cost-of-living is a bit high.

8. Would like to be near a university. I like that. I've always wanted to be close to a university.

9. No mowing for a year or two. I need a break from managing a large yard. In the place where we live now, I have nearly as much to mow as I did in Ohio and I'm paying this huge rent. Kinda resent that. Next time. Small or no yard with rent.

So, the places that seem to fit the bill so far...

Knoxville, TN and surrounding rural areas in southern Blue Ridge.
Arkansas has come up...but, I don't know much about it.
Alabama, MS also have come up...areas like Mobile, Biloxi and Oxford seem to fit...but that's really south and no mountains.

D12 wants me to keep the other side of the Adirondacks in the running...Lake Champlain area.

I'm turning over the details that overwhelm me. This is my starting point.


"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man

“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
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One thing to consider...avoid states that have not signed on with the ACA exchanges. If your concern is to have a low cost of living in case of a downturn in income, you want to be in a state where you can qualify for a health insurance subsidy or Medi-care if necessary.

Also consider average incomes as well as cost of living; cheap housing in a poor area without jobs doesn't do you much good unless you can work remotely.

Have you considered Colorado? The Denver side of the Rockies is dry and has relatively little snow, but the mountains are right there and very accessible. And it's hurricane free and I think tornadoes would be very rare.

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Thanks Ellie. I will check!


"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man

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Anther suggested state is New Hampshire. You get snow, just not the lake affect snow that you get where you are. The white mountains are really incredible for the east coast. You can also go to the ocean for a day trip. The lakes are also great. So you would get ocean, lakes, and some really spectacular mountains.


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Thanks Life, I looked up New Hampshire. Nice.

I find myself drawn to western North Carolina.

Need to journal for moment to record some thoughts.

This transition has been chock full of uncertainty. I keep trying to fight God for the driver's seat. Need to back the eff off and allow HIM to drive. I don't have all the answers and that's ok. But, still have to balance this with action and that's the hard part...plus, finding a way to earn AND be a hand's on mom, prepping her to a life of successfully handling herself...Asheville, North Carolina has a really, really strong homeschool community...as opposed to here.

For the last two weeks in the main office, I've noticed the air conditioning is off. Not a good sign. They are saying it's because the system is broken. I'm not buying it. Also, still no ad rep in my office. It's been since January? since I've had anyone here...seriously. No ad rep in this office AT ALL since January.

I awoke with a lot of clarity today. Got issue number 29 out yesterday.

It's also the last day of my period. I'm noticing my PMS symptoms are worse again...not on medication and the stress has played a part. It's always remarkable the difference in how I feel when it lifts. Wish I could feel like this every day. Somehow, that's going to become a reality.

I think having a climate with a sorta steady sameness year-round might be a good idea for me. Terrible SAD has plagued me.

Have been walking for exercise. See a difference when I take supplements.

I'm reading a book on how to create a business plan as a writer. The first question is...

Where does my enjoyable writing meet actual commercial possibility?

I'm a talented feature writer. I'm able to write about virtually anything.

In terms of genres...I wouldn't mind trying romance and I've always wanted to write historical. My mind is overflowing with ideas for features and historical books/articles/childrens books.

Spiritual/Self Help--something I've wanted to explore.

Just thinking aloud.


Last edited by LoisB; 05/27/15 04:06 PM.

"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man

“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
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Oh, and D12 and I dug through old photos the other day looking for something. It was really painful for both of us. So many nice memories and laughter and smiles.

I googled the psychopathic stuff mentioned on some other threads last night. Each time I learn more...I see how Matt's addiction and childhood issues stole this person away.

I clearly see the addiction. So many characteristics are only a part of his personality NOW after years of drug abuse. There were some warning signs, though, early...like the heavy reliance on sarcasm and belittling, inability to be authentic/acting the chameleon depending upon who was around...altering his personality to accommodate the person in front of him.

Still think he was just himself with us though. How sad.

I'm thinking he is probably stuck in "acting mode" in his current lifestyle.

Last edited by LoisB; 05/27/15 04:03 PM.

"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man

“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
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Just had an epiphany...Everything I want and dream of having is right at my fingertips. I just have to reach out and grab it.

Jesus said to him, "Get up, pick up your pallet and walk." Immediately the man became well, and picked up his pallet and began to walk. Now it was the Sabbath on that day…

Jesus didn't say...get a new job, move to a new location, do this, do that, lost some weight first, etc... He just said, "Get up."

I get it.

Also, He asked the man to carry his bed...the bed which had held him captive for years, that place became the man's biatch. No longer was he held by that which had enslaved him, now the MAN carried his burden on his own terms...and he walked.

Everything I need to accomplish my dreams is within me. I just have to "Get up, take my experiences with me and walk."

Last edited by LoisB; 05/27/15 06:42 PM.

"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man

“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
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I could use some feedback on this one...

I just received an email from HR.

Good afternoon. We have reached the end of your probationary period effective May 10, 2015. In the last few weeks we have been reviewing the expectations that XXX sent out in February with the added support from XXX and formulating our assessment of your progress. Can you please take a few moments of your time between now and next Tuesday to send me over your assessment on how you feel you have progressed with these expectations? It is important that we get your perspective on this to ensure a complete assessment.

Are you available to meet on Thursday June 4 at 11:00 a.m. here ? XXX (mentoring person) and I would like to meet with you to conclude the probationary period assessment.

Thank you
HR person

Does it sound like I'm getting fired? I don't know anymore...


"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man

“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
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The timing with the laying off of the department makes me a little nervous.


"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man

“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
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