Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 8 of 10 1 2 6 7 8 9 10
Joined: May 2015
Posts: 173
K
Kembo05 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
K
Joined: May 2015
Posts: 173
I don't "think" so. She emailed him 3 weeks ago and that was last I heard of it. She met with our counselor last week and said he wasn't in the picture anymore


Me: 32 Her: 29
M: 5 T: 11
D2
ILYBINILWY: Jan 15
BD: 2/13/15 (I found out, she didn't tell me)
W filed for D after I confronted OM 5-27-15
Papers served 6-3-15
Temporary Order 7-15-15
W Moved out 7-17-15
Joined: Mar 2015
Posts: 1,458
N
NDY Offline
Member
Offline
Member
N
Joined: Mar 2015
Posts: 1,458
Originally Posted By: Kembo05
I don't "think" so. She emailed him 3 weeks ago and that was last I heard of it. She met with our counselor last week and said he wasn't in the picture anymore


I think you need a vet here. Starsky is good with this type of thing RE transparency agreements etc.


Me:43 Her:42
M:14
S:9
EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts)
PA started 2014/05/30
BD:2014/11/05
I left 2015/10/01
I returned 2015/05/02
She left 2015/06/10
OM still on the go.
Joined: May 2015
Posts: 173
K
Kembo05 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
K
Joined: May 2015
Posts: 173
She is transparent now, at least to my knowledge. I have access to all of her accounts. She is definitely WW but I would like to think OM is out of picture; I think she still has feelings for him, but I think their relationship is over...who knows though.

She said she was going through with filing for D, but she also admitted that doesn't mean its over. It's amazing that makes sense to her. We meet with our counselor tomorrow so it will be real interesting to see how that goes.


Me: 32 Her: 29
M: 5 T: 11
D2
ILYBINILWY: Jan 15
BD: 2/13/15 (I found out, she didn't tell me)
W filed for D after I confronted OM 5-27-15
Papers served 6-3-15
Temporary Order 7-15-15
W Moved out 7-17-15
Joined: Mar 2015
Posts: 1,458
N
NDY Offline
Member
Offline
Member
N
Joined: Mar 2015
Posts: 1,458
I hope you are right. But if you are able you should ask one of the vets about this. It's for your own benefit.


Me:43 Her:42
M:14
S:9
EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts)
PA started 2014/05/30
BD:2014/11/05
I left 2015/10/01
I returned 2015/05/02
She left 2015/06/10
OM still on the go.
Joined: May 2015
Posts: 173
K
Kembo05 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
K
Joined: May 2015
Posts: 173
Anyone know how long filing for divorce takes? W said she met with lawyer and started the paperwork. I asked why she didn't file and W said the lawyer didn't have time to process everything.

I'm curious if she is using this as a threat/scare tactic or if she really plans on doing it. I am moving forward like she is going to really go through with filing for D


Me: 32 Her: 29
M: 5 T: 11
D2
ILYBINILWY: Jan 15
BD: 2/13/15 (I found out, she didn't tell me)
W filed for D after I confronted OM 5-27-15
Papers served 6-3-15
Temporary Order 7-15-15
W Moved out 7-17-15
Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 1,902
F
Member
Offline
Member
F
Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 1,902
Filing can happen very quickly, maybe a few hours to a couple of days. It could take more than one afternoon depending on how much they wanted to discuss and get things straight. She could do it all in one day if needed, but taking time to make sure everything is where she wants it makes more sense.

With kids there is alot to go through. When my W was using an online program to do it she spent maybe 4-5 hours total to go through it step by step. We don't have much to split up either. With a lawyer advising that could go faster or slower.

Last edited by Fogg; 05/28/15 06:12 PM.

Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 7,319
W
Member
Offline
Member
W
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 7,319
Kembo,

You really need to STFU for real about asking W questions about filing or not filing for D. It DOES NOT matter what she does or does not do. You have a FULL and rich life waiting for you to grab it by the horns.

For real, you have to STOP bringing up the M or divorce to W.

Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 13,533
Likes: 78
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 13,533
Likes: 78
Originally Posted By: Wonka
Kembo,

You really need to STFU for real about asking W questions about filing or not filing for D. It DOES NOT matter what she does or does not do. You have a FULL and rich life waiting for you to grab it by the horns.

For real, you have to STOP bringing up the M or divorce to W.

Of course that is if you are still trying to save your marriage/relationship.

If you want to be divorced then just keep doing the same thing.


Me-70, D37,S36
Joined: May 2015
Posts: 173
K
Kembo05 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
K
Joined: May 2015
Posts: 173
Thanks Wonka. I asked her yesterday because I just needed to know if she took that step. I also needed to know so I could make sure I spoke with a lawyer to cover my bases. I wasn't planning on asking any more questions about it.

I definitely want it to work out. I'm just kind of scrambling at this point. This forum has been great, but I really need the DR book for some guidance. I appreciate everyone's help

Last edited by Kembo05; 05/28/15 06:21 PM.

Me: 32 Her: 29
M: 5 T: 11
D2
ILYBINILWY: Jan 15
BD: 2/13/15 (I found out, she didn't tell me)
W filed for D after I confronted OM 5-27-15
Papers served 6-3-15
Temporary Order 7-15-15
W Moved out 7-17-15
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 18,666
Likes: 1
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 18,666
Likes: 1
Quote:
She said she was going through with filing for D, but she also admitted that doesn't mean its over. It's amazing that makes sense to her. We meet with our counselor tomorrow so it will be real interesting to see how that goes.


She believes she really has you wrapped around her little finger. She can play bounce the ball back & forth as long as she wants. IMO, you need to let it be known to her (probably during the counseling session)that you won't do it this way. IOW, tell her that if she files for D, you will take it to mean that she's not interested in being M to you....and you will be moving on with a new life. (This is what she should think about before making those type of decisions.)

In the meantime, stop the questions. Did you go see a lawyer after asking her about filing?


It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Page 8 of 10 1 2 6 7 8 9 10

Moderated by  Cadet, DnJ, job, Michele Weiner-Davis 

Link Copied to Clipboard