I see what you're saying but My situation is a little different. I still think my wife feels trapped but her A was never realistic. I don't think she accepted that until recently but she still was randomly seeking out comfort from this clown. When she BD she said she was in love and I couldn't love her like him. She is naturally super stubborn and I think she is holding out on forgiving me because she looks at that like she was in the wrong.
I'm def not trying to figure her out anymore. I'm just doing what I can, definitely GAL, validating, and 180s
Me: 32 Her: 29 M: 5 T: 11 D2 ILYBINILWY: Jan 15 BD: 2/13/15 (I found out, she didn't tell me) W filed for D after I confronted OM 5-27-15 Papers served 6-3-15 Temporary Order 7-15-15 W Moved out 7-17-15
While it may be different for you, I believe that an emotional affair, a physical affair, and an imaginary affair (as you may be describing) are all the same trigger to the WW. It makes them BELIEVE that there is something better out there. Of course there's some difference in how hard it is on the LBS, but I don't know that it changes the way the WW feels about the LBS.
While it may be different for you, I believe that an emotional affair, a physical affair, and an imaginary affair (as you may be describing) are all the same trigger to the WW. It makes them BELIEVE that there is something better out there. Of course there's some difference in how hard it is on the LBS, but I don't know that it changes the way the WW feels about the LBS.
I agree with this. One other thing that I have to bring up was sandi's description on the WW crossing the line. How in the beginning they need to build up their confidence, constantly telling themselves what they are doing is wrong but once the line is crossed it gets easier and easier to escalate the situation until they are in full blown WW mode which is very hard to come back from. A lot never do.
Me:43 Her:42 M:14 S:9 EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts) PA started 2014/05/30 BD:2014/11/05 I left 2015/10/01 I returned 2015/05/02 She left 2015/06/10 OM still on the go.
Oh I agree completely Matt. My W was having an emotional affair and although I don't think they talk anymore I know she is sad they don't have any sort of relationship. She definitely thought the grass was greener on the other side. Deep down I think she knew it wasn't realistic but that didn't matter at the time because how she felt with him. She definitely fits the description of a WW. I'm just hoping she finally comes around, until then I know I just have to do what I can
Me: 32 Her: 29 M: 5 T: 11 D2 ILYBINILWY: Jan 15 BD: 2/13/15 (I found out, she didn't tell me) W filed for D after I confronted OM 5-27-15 Papers served 6-3-15 Temporary Order 7-15-15 W Moved out 7-17-15
May I ask, what makes you think that your W has cut contact with the OM? Reason I'm asking is when my W BD'ed I basically said the same to her i.e. cut contact and stop all this or I'm off. At that time she even offered me her phone to check that she had deleted his number and his txt's. Guess what, she was lying.
Remember believe nothing of what they say and 50% of what they do.
Me:43 Her:42 M:14 S:9 EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts) PA started 2014/05/30 BD:2014/11/05 I left 2015/10/01 I returned 2015/05/02 She left 2015/06/10 OM still on the go.
Yeah you are right NDY. I "think" she has cut ties with him but obviously I don't know for sure. I've accepted I can't control that aspect of it so I just try to be optimistic about it.
How was your W contacting OM outside of her phone/email? I'm no dummy in new emails and stuff like that, just curious on how you found out?
Me: 32 Her: 29 M: 5 T: 11 D2 ILYBINILWY: Jan 15 BD: 2/13/15 (I found out, she didn't tell me) W filed for D after I confronted OM 5-27-15 Papers served 6-3-15 Temporary Order 7-15-15 W Moved out 7-17-15
Yeah you are right NDY. I "think" she has cut ties with him but obviously I don't know for sure. I've accepted I can't control that aspect of it so I just try to be optimistic about it.
How was your W contacting OM outside of her phone/email? I'm no dummy in new emails and stuff like that, just curious on how you found out?
She works with him dude. She sees him every day at the office. And she has a works phone and so does he. Would you like his number?
Me:43 Her:42 M:14 S:9 EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts) PA started 2014/05/30 BD:2014/11/05 I left 2015/10/01 I returned 2015/05/02 She left 2015/06/10 OM still on the go.
Me: 32 Her: 29 M: 5 T: 11 D2 ILYBINILWY: Jan 15 BD: 2/13/15 (I found out, she didn't tell me) W filed for D after I confronted OM 5-27-15 Papers served 6-3-15 Temporary Order 7-15-15 W Moved out 7-17-15
Yeah you are right NDY. I "think" she has cut ties with him but obviously I don't know for sure. I've accepted I can't control that aspect of it so I just try to be optimistic about it.
Hello Kembo,
Like Cadet writes, I'm sorry that you have to be here but you have come to the right place. I just went thru your entire thread and your situation (except for the A) sounds so similar to mine--even the timeframe. I had a feeling something wasn't right between me and my WAW in August, be she said all was well. In October, while I was out of town visiting my son, she left and filed for D the next day. I have 5 threads now on this forum. Fast forward, she is still living with her Mom/Stepdad 3 1/2 hrs away. She has MS, low self-esteem, and I got over-protective but didn't realize it until she left and eventually told me. She said I was "smothering" her and she wants her "life back." I see where I came across as that and have owned up to it.
I was happy to see that you are trying to be optimistic about this. That was going to be my suggestion.
I am on this forum a lot but I am heading out of town for the weekend to go to a life-long friend's summer home 2 hrs away, my GAL for this weekend.
Please take things one day at a time. Easier said than done, I know. But you sound like a fantastic guy with a good head on his shoulders.
You can DB...I am sure of it!
Take care my new friend.
Bob
Me:55 yrs/W:51 yrs (has MS) M:14 yrs T:15 yrs No children together--3 each from previous marriages Wife Moved Out: 10/19/14 Wife Filed for Divorce: 10/20/14 Divorce Final: 10/21/15
Yeah you are right NDY. I "think" she has cut ties with him but obviously I don't know for sure. I've accepted I can't control that aspect of it so I just try to be optimistic about it.
How was your W contacting OM outside of her phone/email? I'm no dummy in new emails and stuff like that, just curious on how you found out?
Also - pretty sure you can skype or FB messenger call and such that only uses data but doesn't count as "phone calls"
