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HinToots just to say hello and I hope you having a good day

Take care. Rd

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Originally Posted By: Toots
Hi Gan and Bob - thanks for stopping by. Gan - my sitch sister - I realised today that I haven't actually seen H in over nine months - unbelievable!! Hope your trip goes well. And Bob, thanks for your kind post - I would love a big hug!! Well, it was a busy day for me. I was working away and had a meeting this morning, plus a hearing this afternoon and drove back down here after that.
Hello Toots,

You're welcome, and I could use an extra-big hug tonight.

I hope you are doing better.

xoxo

Bob


Me:55 yrs/W:51 yrs (has MS)
M:14 yrs
T:15 yrs
No children together--3 each from previous marriages
Wife Moved Out: 10/19/14
Wife Filed for Divorce: 10/20/14
Divorce Final: 10/21/15
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Thanks guys! Probs with iPad - white screen only....arghh!! May not post much until sorted. Email from H today with link to house online. Now for sale...&. Some comment about the market & he'll let me know of any updates ASAP & if I want info, just let him know.

Thanked me for sending something he asked for. Said he contacted his L this week. Confirmed yes, we'll get through the legal part - said its hard though. Told me his & SSs plans today. All very helpful, businessy & some warmth too.

I'll send a brief response to him at some point.....have a good day all. X


T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
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Odd comment here but I think you need to see H. A completely non legal, whoops didn't "plan" on running into you today meeting.
Just my random $.02 thought of the day.


Me: 35 husband:39
Sons 16 and 11 from my first marriage
Twins 5 (boy/girl)
Daughter 3
Affair bomb 2/27/14
He moved in with ow 3/13/14
OW kicked him out 6/15/14
4/2016 he seeks help for sexual addiction



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Just wanted to stop in and let you know I'm thinking of you. Hoping you find some peace as your house sale moves forward. You are doing fabulous! smile


Me 52, H53
Bomb drop 9/29/2014
Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships)
6 grandkids
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Hi Twin, he's a couple of hours away - I don't think I can engineer that. Somehow, I just don't feel like seeing him. If we were thinking of reconciling - absolutely. But otherwise - I think it may be best to never see him again & just move on.

I get what you're saying. And maybe it could change things if we saw each other. But it has been so long - and TBH, I still feel so raw I'm not sure I could handle it well. Plus I have no idea about OWs or anything....

Thanks for suggesting though smile


T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
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H Toots m I was thinkng along the same lines as Twinmum to be honest. I think H needs reminding what he is losing Just my 2'cents worth

Take care. Rd

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Hi T,

As much as it feels and seem to be very final, it is amazing that it is not there yet, and you are still on the front line.

Is there any way you can stop feeling so done and lost? and then think of how to shake things a little bit.

It may not change anything, it may be just a foolish gesture to show up and talk to him in person, but it is something and after 9 months maybe it could be just on move in the chess board.

What you have to lose? I know that by were I am sitting things may seem a little easier, but you are strong and has proven you can handle a lot of tough situations.

Check with you inner self and ask if this would be a fight you want to invest. If so, GAME ON...

Since I wrote a lot, and gave you a big idea, I think this are my $$$ dollars worth. And the second apt is full price, kkkkk.

Love you beautiful,
XOXO
Pink


Pink17
S22,19 and 16
D:8/5/2015



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Running into him somewhere isn't pursuing.... You don't have to worry about if OW is still in the picture. Think of it this way if it helps you...
Show your H what he lost. Picture yourself walking by him on the street wearing something TOTALLY unlike the old Toots and looking FABULOUS! As in "ha, aren't YOU an idiot to walk away from THIS awesomeness!"


Me: 35 husband:39
Sons 16 and 11 from my first marriage
Twins 5 (boy/girl)
Daughter 3
Affair bomb 2/27/14
He moved in with ow 3/13/14
OW kicked him out 6/15/14
4/2016 he seeks help for sexual addiction



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Posts: 5,301
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Thanks Guys. I get where you're coming from & understand that although I am DBing, I'm also not reattracting H. I'll give it some thought. For sure, I don't feel like doing it at all - and it kind of stresses me out that you suggest it & I would have to face him. Equally, would I regret if there were something I didn't try? And have I just run away & am still running?

The idea of dressing up & engineering a 'oops, just bumped into you' moment just doesn't appeal really. I truly cant see me doing that. It would feel easier to chat by phone or meet for coffee - but both are pursuit. Part of it is pride I think & part fear & just easier to stay away...

I guess I'll mull it over some more....thanks for checking in. GALed at the bookstore yesterday, then had dinner with a new female friend, which was nice. Cooking lunch for the parents today.Have a good day all x


T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
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