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How do we enable the HTML on our tread??


Me: 42 H: 40
M: 12
H moved out - 8/2015
I filed - 8/2015
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Originally Posted By: BW05
How do we enable the HTML on our tread??

Use reply mode?

What HTML do you want?


Me-70, D37,S36
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I would say to trust your gut feeling. H lied extensively to me about his whereabouts and actions last fall, when he went to visit OW three times. I was extremely suspicious and asked him straight out all three times, but he denied and lied about where he went, really elaborate lies. He even called me when he was driving home from one visit with OW (supposedly had spent time with a buddy) and shared what a wonderful vacation he had had (this was Thanksgiving, I was crushed that he refused to talk to me on the holiday) and I could hear in his voice how happy he was. That was and still is very, very hard.

Regardless, I knew. Every time. I just accepted his lies because they he was so insistent and I didn't know he was capable of lying to me like that.

Right now, he says he would not have done this if he could do it over, he is ashamed over it and feel bad. So there is hope that this phase can pass. I hope he is telling me the truth now.


M 16 yrs, WH62, P54
3 adult blended kids
EA 11/13, BD1 6/14
PA fall 14, BD2 2/15
Piecing 2015, BD3 12/15
Separated 4/16
WH moved OW in 5/16
Divorced 6/15/17
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Hey BW

Just checking to see how things are going with you?

Last edited by Cadet; 05/16/15 11:43 AM. Reason: Edit title post moved from closed thread

Me: 39 yrs H:45 yrs
M:14 years
T:18 years
D:10 D:6
BD: 13/04/15
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There has not been much to post as far as R goes as it has been a quiet week with H working later are going to gym.

However, some good GALing this week. Organized a happy hour with fellow bootcampers on Wednesday and last night went out with work colleagues. Lost another 5 lbs to boot!

This morning I was greated very cheerfully by H. I was going to head out to walk the dog and he invited himself along. I then said I was running to Costco and he decided he wanted to go to. H has not run an errand with me in weeks. Not sure what is up, but we had a nice time together for half the day. Still no communication H via text or other during the work week to check in, but maybe still too soon.

Contemplating letting go conversation with H this weekend per suggestion of someone else. Has anyone else tried this with their wayward spouse? Here is a sample:

H, I have been doing some thinking and I realize that I have been selfish in trying to convince you to stay in a marriage where you are unhappy. I know now that I cannot continue to try and control the outcome of this and I need to let you go and allow you to make your own choices. Really all I want is for you to be happy.

In addition, would continue LRT, GAL, etc.

Any thoughts on saying this to my H?


Last edited by BW05; 05/16/15 06:39 PM.

Me: 42 H: 40
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I filed - 8/2015
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I would suggest that you wait on that conversation. The less you say, the better. You'll have ample time to say something later on. Always remember, actions speak louder than words.

For now, continue to focus on you and your GAL activities.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
job #2568594 05/17/15 04:40 AM
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H just texted that he is out with work friends. Thinking about crashing at one couples place since they are hour a way. He wanted to see if it was ok, did not want me to think something inappropriate was going on, and so I would not worry. He said he could come home if I wanted. My response:

You are free to make your own choices. Thanks for letting me know so I don't worry.

Thoughts on my response?


Me: 42 H: 40
M: 12
H moved out - 8/2015
I filed - 8/2015
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Your response was okay. If it had been me, I would have just said "Thanks for letting me know".

When responding to him, keep things as simple as possible.

So, what are your plans for today?


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
job #2568653 05/17/15 11:36 AM
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Thanks, Job.

Just plan on going about my day, go for a walk, GAL, etc. I plan to be friendly toward H like nothing happened and not even bring it up. If he engages, I will engage with him back.


Me: 42 H: 40
M: 12
H moved out - 8/2015
I filed - 8/2015
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Just curious for thoughts on bold face lying by the WAS. Is the lying to avoid hurting the BS? To protect the A? Both? Does it never cross the WAS mind that by lying they are making things worse on so many levels? Is the fog so strong they are never really even contemplating the ramifications?

For those reconciling or piecing, did your WAS just come clean on own or did you still have to pull this out of them?


Me: 42 H: 40
M: 12
H moved out - 8/2015
I filed - 8/2015
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