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Hi Pink, I agree with most of what you posted above. However, I also believe that your H may well still love you and that he may well turn around one day and ask to reconcile. And I don't say that to get your hopes up in any way. I completely agree with all that you say about making your own plans. I'm trying to do the same and I think it's a good way to go.

I agree with what RD posted. And I'm not trying to defend your H either. But I don't think he is thinking clearly at all and I expect that may well change at some point. BUT - and it is a big but. When (or if) will that be? When will your (or my) H realise that they plan to D women who are good people, beautiful and who love them? Will they realise? We just don't know. And judging from current behaviour from both our H's - possibly not any time soon.

So because of all of that, and because we value ourselves, we need to make our own plans and seek our own happiness. We've both come a long way in the past year, and we have a long way to go too - with or without our H's - but I have no doubt we'll get there. I look forward to hearing about your lovely plans.

xx


T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
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RD, thanks for your kind words, you made me smile again. And please know, that thinking about you always makes me smile and makes me feel loved, what is exactly what I need right now.

It's not the first time I need to stand up for myself and move my life forward. This time is just a bit harder.

I will keep the positives and since it is spring, I fill my life with Pink. You can probably picture me when around your daughters. I am very girl, even when I am all tough, I am still pretty much a girl. Crying, complaining, whining, with all the girl stuff around and lots of pink.

Toots... we are so amazing!! We are in these crazy soap opera drama for quite long now. And yet, like you say, we are trying our best and moving. Me, not so much as you. You are a very good model for me Toots, many times I think I would like to be like Toots, because reading your posts always translate to me that you are this super organized person and every pieces of the puzzle just fall in it's place.

I like to be organized, but my life is always on the go. I feel like I am always so busy.

I will try and try very hard to succeed, start taking H from my court. We have just a few months to go and then we will probably be divorced. Oh well, I can't control anything right now, just myself and my feelings, so I will try my best to start preparing myself for the future.

I agree, H may be in the fog, confused, depressed and whatever else, what I realized is that is none of my business.

Thanks for always being there for me Toots, I think I will be feeling more positive to post on your guy's threads.

Love,
Pink


Pink17
S22,19 and 16
D:8/5/2015



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Hi Pink,

It looks like RD and Toots have it covered.

but i want to echo some of what you and they have said in that whatever is going on with your H his behaviour of late has not been good for Pink and that trying to understand it isnt necessarily going to help you move forward.

Its really good that you've got more of a plan and at the same time you can let go of your H and is foolishness and embrace all the other things you love in life.

smile


Both mid 30s, 2 young kids
BD 7sep14
XW moved on long ago, now living with OM1
D paperwork in progress
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Hi Jim,

You are so right. LET GO OF YOUR H AND HIS FOOLISHNESS. That's what I need to do. Unfortunately it's easier said then done, so I need to start designing my plan today and have some kind of direction that I will follow.

Reasons to let go: # 1. I am right now going to S15 doctor's appointment to check on some chest pain that has been bothering him for a few days already. I do not think that it is heart related, but it is better to check.

So, yes I have bigger fish in my tank and is better to let go on things that are not so important.

Thanks for your support Jim,
XOXO
Pink


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D:8/5/2015



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Wise words from Jim, Pink...

Hope things went okay for your S at the doctors xx


T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
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S15 have some kind of virus and has his neck glands swollen. The doctor said that it may cause chest and ear pain because he is 15 years old and is developing right now, but she said that since he does not show much of other symptoms besides tiredness then we can just wait until the virus is gone and keep an eye on him just in case he gets worse.

S15 is pretty healthy, so he will take it easy and if anything happen he will be back to the doctor, but I think he will be alright.

Busy week, just dealing with routine stuff. Kids are busy with lots of homework, projects. Finals next week and then we can relax a little bit, finally summer school vacations. Really looking forward to that.

H comes to pick up the kids everyday this week, got in a house on Monday an today but I decided not to be around.

Still working on my life projects, not done yet.

Hope everyone is doing fine.

Love,
Pink


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Hey lovely Pink. Glad to hear S15 is doing okay....bless him! Sounds like you are just 'keeping on keeping on' as Edz would say. Nice that the summer break is just around the corner for you guys. Will you take some time off yourself??

Also looking to hear some more about your life projects. Pink, I think you downplay your achievements. You say you think I do so well - but I don't have a houseful of boys to nurture as well as working. And I have little contact with H. My life is a lot simpler in many ways - I only have to worry about me! So, I don't think you should downplay how well you are doing, I think you should give yourself a huge pat on the back!!

Take care! xx


T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Joined: Oct 2014
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I am thinking of you Pink and musing.

It's complexity my thoughts for Pink, something's muddle me a little. Fudging so to speak.

Glad about S recovery.

V


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


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Hi Pink just to add my voice to good news re S

Take care. Rd. xx

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Hi TOots, Vanilla and RD,

Thanks for posting.

BY the way I did really great... I think.

S15 had Orchestra concert yesterday by 7pm (he plays the Cello). I arrived to the school auditorium by 6:30 and sat very close to the stage.

I used all my power to hold my head and not look around for H. Annoying, there was a guy that sat right beside me and he kept trying to talk.

Anyway, when the concert was over, I took my sweet time to leave the place and as soon as I walked to the hall I saw H standing were we normally wait for S15. I did not walk there, I stayed far away from him and was on my phone.

H came over, got close and had a big smile. He said Hi, and I answer with another hi and a smile, like I was just surprise to see him there. He asked me how I was and I said fine and asked if he liked the concert. He said that it was good. Then I comment that at times if was a little to slow, but was a nice one.

S15 came over and did not talk to his dad. I did not say anything, I just started walking to my car. H was walking with us. The three of us walked together and very quite. We got to my car and H was around, I did not start conversation neither walked to were he was standing. I said: Well, see you later. H said godbuy to S15 that just said Yeh to his dad, then he said Good Night Pink, I did not look at him, I said Good Night H and got into my car.

Today H send me a text that reads:
Pink, if you are in agreement, I will plan to spend Saturday afternoon with our sons. I can be at the house by 2pm. I have a course in Boulder 9-12:30, I will cook dinner for them and stay as late as it make sense. You let me know if this works for you OK?

My answer: Fine.

I know I am not detached all the way and I know it is still hard to just let go, but I think that I have got it better now.

What do you think? Am I doing this DB thing right now? I feel awkward, it's like pushing him away, far away, but maybe in a way it will be better for me to move on too.

By the way, I was looking good (some would say hot). I had a skinny dark blue jeans, a loose blouse that is a bit funk, grey high hill low boots, nice make up one (not much), and my hair was very straight. That got H looking at me like saying "You look good". My hair is very long now and it's natural curly, so when I straight it, the length is in the middle of my back.

I don't know, maybe this is all a waste of time, maybe H is just so decided to be far from me. But, maybe doing this I will feel better about myself.

Do you think I did it right? Any advices? Any advices for tomorrow when he comes to the house?

XOXO
Pink


Pink17
S22,19 and 16
D:8/5/2015



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