Happy Birthday, Bea! I hope this is the best year ever :-)
3 kids BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. ) Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style D final 9-9-14 "Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Of course you're suspicious. But curious what makes you so at this point? I mean, what does he have to gain and you to lose?
Maybe there's something. It does make one wonder
Glad it was a good birthday!
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
AJ - I had a very very long relationship - all my adult life 30+ years. I have known for along time that this is a journey my xh has to take. I also know that MLC has heightened his tendency to be manipulative. Hence the suspicion. What is he up to?
His journey isn't over yet, and may never be. But we had a long and happy marriage which I still honour. So rather than cut him totally out of my life, I am now at a point where I can deal with him, and he seems to want a degree of connection, like a thin life line to his old life.
I realised this morning (before I read this) that I have let go of my anger, or my anger had let go of me. It is very freeing when it happens. Did he do awful things - oh my goodness yes, and he hurt me and the children. But we are all OK now, and holding onto the anger hurts no-one but ourselves.
I am not here to judge him. I have done so in the past, but not any more. He has to get through this (or not) and I am not about to make it harder for him. If any of that makes sense?
It makes sense, B. Sounds like you're suspicious because of past history of manipulative behavior. I get it.
I'm glad to hear you honor your past relationship and are free of that anger. Ugly stuff that anger
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
Why doesn't it surprise me to see that your xh is still trying to get your attention. He is so predictable but seems to be just a tad bit kinder in his comments.
I don't blame you for staying on your toes with him. I'm happy that you've come to the place where you are able to deal with him without reacting. That is the key for all of us. One that I'm having trouble with. I try so hard not react while talking to my h but there are times when I want to just say what I want to say. I did that yesterday afternoon and he didn't like it one bit. He came just short of accusing me of trying to delay the d process. It's taking longer than he hoped and of course I must be the reason. There's more to it but I will post on my own thread instead of hijacking yours!
I feel like I'm reading a soap opera when I come to your thread. One that I look forward to. More than the drama I enjoy reading about how you've made your way to the peace that comes through your posts.
I hate to admit this but I do remember the Paul Simon song that you mentioned.
Me:57H:62 M:34T:35 2S,2D (grown nlah) BD:09/2012 visits M ow EA/PA?:10/2012 H moves out 06/2013
"Do not let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace." -Dalai Lama
