Also, the way I saw it, if I'm posting things that I enjoy and keeping up with friends, that helps me and my happiness.
By unfriending her, I don't have to see that stuff, I stay true to my boundaries AND maybe even create a little more mystery since she won't see anything!
M-33 W-33 S-11, S-8 M-11, T-14 BD - 12/26, Divorce Filing and admits to affair (her) 4/18 I moved out 5/23
I currently look at FB as a tool for my own use, as many of my friends and mutual friends use it. Being the social recluse that I have been, I am using it as a tool to reach out to create meaningful REAL social interactions, such as organizing things to do with S4 and other kids, set up GAL activities with friends, etc.
Since I have very little contact with W (dim/dark, LRT), I see this as an avenue to show my changes, whether she accepts them or not. It is very possible that she has limited me from her end, but it isn't about her. It's about being social.
If she sees something, okay. If she doesn't, that's okay, too.
I will add that I did unfriend W once, during a moment of anger, but refriended after a week or so, and she accepted. Haven't given much thought since.
Last edited by JAS84; 04/27/1506:50 PM.
Me: 30, W: 29 S: 4 T: 14 M: 5 BD: March, 2015, ILYBNILWY, IDLY, Need Space OM, EA/PA Discovered (drunken kissing, she says she stopped there? NOPE!): March 2015 S: April 25th, 2015
When my W and I separated, I blocked her from FB. That was last May. I have not made a single attempt to even look at her FB since then. I dropped FB altogether in December when I filed. I do not miss it.
If you live in a state where affairs matter (like mine) then I am sure her L will tell her to clean up her FB and keep it sterile of anything that can be used against her. Word is that my W did the same thing after my December filing.
Me: 42 W: 32 Married 7 years together 8.5 S1: 7 S2:7 Bomb #1: 09-16-13 Recon #1: 11/13 A discovered 04-03-2014 W filed D 05-19-14 but never served me I filed D 12-02-2014 S 05-31-14 Divorced 5-19-16
Well - we'll see. I realized today that the only reason I wasn't using facebook was because I was afraid of what I'd see under her profile and every time I logged in, I was too tempted to search.
I needed to end that and be able to use it for what I want now. I'm not huge on social media, but it should be good to track my GAL activities and meet new people.
M-33 W-33 S-11, S-8 M-11, T-14 BD - 12/26, Divorce Filing and admits to affair (her) 4/18 I moved out 5/23
Ugh. Update. Things seemed to being going ok. I was polite and courteous and spent time with the boys playing basketball. She went to the store to get things because I didn't by them for her Sunday. We discussed nothing about me being served or u friending her on fb and I have no plans to bring either up.
Then in passing I mentioned "just so u know, I have plans Wednesday so won't be back after work". Didn't feel I needed to ask permission or elaborate it was a couple days notice.
She got pissed and said "ok. That's fine! I got invited to go do something and I guess I won't be going and stay home with the kids!" When I said i wasn't trying to start a fight and with a couple days notice I thought it would be ok. She retorted "yeah. That's fine. I'm just going to start doing the same thing now too."
I went back to see what time her thing was to see if we could work something out, but she didn't care. She told me to drop it and that she just wouldn't go. Said that she is mad that I "make her feel guilty" and then I'm "gone almost every other day.
Which isn't true. I was gone Wednesday and Friday after the boys went to bed. She went out Saturday. Not sure the problem but she is pissed and seems to want to take it out in me.
I wouldn't be surprised if she leaves shortly to go to her affair partners just out of spite.
I'm trying to stay cool and didn't yell, but hard not to take this personal. Everything I think it's getting better or I can handle it, it gets worse.
What do I do? What a tough day!
M-33 W-33 S-11, S-8 M-11, T-14 BD - 12/26, Divorce Filing and admits to affair (her) 4/18 I moved out 5/23
I wanted to say something like " I'm sorry you feel that way or I'm not trying to make you feel guilty" or even justify that 2-3 nights a week out isn't that much, but I felt like it wouldn't matter and she would just get more pissed. Sao I just stood there stfu and walked away.
She went into her room and closed the door to go to bed. I haven't seen her that pissed at me in months. I'm sure it hasn't nothing to do with my lrt methods and feelings she has about me and everything to do with her desire to go out more and be with om, but feels guilted into being with the boys - not by me though.
M-33 W-33 S-11, S-8 M-11, T-14 BD - 12/26, Divorce Filing and admits to affair (her) 4/18 I moved out 5/23
She's not cheating on you because you are making her watch the kids Wednesday night.
(Probably mis-)Quoted from David Deida's "The Way of the Superior Man": Her complaint is content free.
Her spaz about Wednesday night is a reflection of her emotions regarding your relationship. You have to learn to read between to lines to see what she's REALLY saying when she complains.
Trying to logic it out with her is going to make it much much worse.
Would have been a great opportunity to validate her feelings:
"I didn't realize you had plans that evening. You seem to be very angry and upset about this, and I can see why. If I were in your shoes, I'd be disappointed too"
Me: 35 Her (WAW): 34 D8, S5, D2 T:16, M:9 BD + D: 4/3/2015 EA Confirmed 5/6/2015 Separation under the same roof
