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edz Offline OP
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Missed the edit window! One thing w did say in regard to s was that she sees in some ways im more patient and calm with s now than she is. Its understandable as she is 24/7 with s in the week but thats slowly changing as is and in any reconciled situation it would be a family unit not w & s and me isolating myself, those days are now gone and are not welcome to return.

Last edited by edz; 04/27/15 11:21 AM.

M:44, W:46, S:10
M 13 years, T 15
BD:23/7/2014
W/S Moved to MIL: 23/7/2014
My new place: 21/11/2014
W/S back to flat 22/11/2014
W coming closer, talking 4/2015
Piecing 5/2015
Moving in again 6/2015
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,942
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edz Offline OP
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W fb messaged me this morning to say s was being upset and difficult we chatted about what I'd been doing to get him to move on when he's in that frame of mind which felt good.

Then was spending my lunch hour repairing the runner on the dishwasher which had discombobulated itself (hey call me a renegade) and heard a very odd noise. Turned out to be w was facebook calling me, she was shopping and just chatting on what was happening and how they were going to spend the afternoon. Said she had originally planned to pop by but she had a concern about s making a beeline for the game console. I said no worries if she has him in motion and ready to get on with cooking (lesson for this afternoon) go for it and I'll catch up with them later or tomorrow.

Went down to get a drink about an hour ago (yes I fixed the dishwasher rail!) and theres w and s pulling into the drive. So made them lunch and yes s had 40 minutes on the console we had a chat just about s and some other bits going on. Dinner will be saturday s is coming to stay tomorrow night, june is now confirmed as a day trip which is fine (it was all a bit vapourware before) but we will do some other bits that week - not bringing up the anniversary specifically yet as I said we will start to put a flag in the ground on directions around then.

So a nice suprise there.


M:44, W:46, S:10
M 13 years, T 15
BD:23/7/2014
W/S Moved to MIL: 23/7/2014
My new place: 21/11/2014
W/S back to flat 22/11/2014
W coming closer, talking 4/2015
Piecing 5/2015
Moving in again 6/2015
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,942
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edz Offline OP
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Goodly morning all

Another partly cloudy partly not day here.

Not a huge amount to report really, just journalling. Took s's water bottle round along with w's coat (which she forgot yesterday lunchtime) last evening just a flying visit as s was learning how to cook spaghetti bolognese with w and I didnt want to derail them too much. Some chatting with w on fb text while she was watching the football (Im not a fan but she has a passing interest in football) and I made burgers with blue cheese and vegetable crisps with coleslaw for dinner.

Not the most thrilling night but good to chill out (was cold and tired and passed out when my head hit the pillow last night)

Today working, walking up to the shop at lunchtime to get the fixings as s wants to make me spag'bol' tonight (shall have the mop on standby but I think its fantastic he wants to do this and is starting to get ready in terms of being able to look after himself when he's a young man.

Other than that, swimming tonight with s and then not sure. Tomorrow is work in the morning and w,s and I are off to see the new avengers movie tomorrow afternoon then we're playing the rest of the day by ear.

Thursday/Friday no idea as yet possibly swimming with s again, sat will be maths tutor and w is coming along to have a coffee with me and the two of us are going out for dinner on saturday night, no idea other than that.

Was feeling a little shattered and pensive last night, no idea why since the sitch is looking positive right now and Im very grateful for all the good stuff.

I think its the large direction changes which are good but also I think I'm seeing w feeling more in conflict because of mil and her space as she goes more in the direction of a reconciliation.

I think from our conversations this is because she blames herself because she confided so much in her mum now she sees it as her fault she has to face a backlash - I validated this and said I understand but she did what she needed to at the time for her and s and that I'm here if she needs me to talk things through. I think that and her concerns on "her space" are the two things she needs to work through now, I just need to be patient and give her space to do that I know.

Meantime Keeping on keeping on and looking at this movie club again as its supposed to be starting in May and I like the idea, only issue is so far all the bookings are in Bristol - DOH! Very little around here thats of interest which Ive found a problem all along on GAL even allowing for strecthing my interests the target audience seems to be 30 years older than me or 20 something women, sigh!

Anyhoo on with the day!


M:44, W:46, S:10
M 13 years, T 15
BD:23/7/2014
W/S Moved to MIL: 23/7/2014
My new place: 21/11/2014
W/S back to flat 22/11/2014
W coming closer, talking 4/2015
Piecing 5/2015
Moving in again 6/2015
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,942
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edz Offline OP
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Well that cheered me up, the skinny fit (ha at this size, really?) jeans I couldnt get near back in marchish (bought them solely to spur me on) im now wearing comfortably (thighs finally capitulated to the pilates exercises I wrapped into the morning exercises - did tell you I started that right - not at classes yet but thought i'd try it at home)

So that wraps up this trouser size, Im now officially smaller and lighter than I was before and when s was born and at my weight from ~2002-2003.

A bit more to go now to hit where I was before w and I met and then work on toning. Next time Im at the shops I'll pick up goal weight/size jeans. These will be laughably too small at the moment but again will spur me on.

Also need to think about saturday, my good watch is ready for collection and need a nice shirt that can take cufflinks (have two sets I never wore) and a nice pair of trousers. Wow friend is having s, restaurant is booked I have no expectations bar a nice time, talking, good food (well that can always be a dangerous expectation) so we shall see.

Not sure anyones popping by at the mo but journalling for myself smile


M:44, W:46, S:10
M 13 years, T 15
BD:23/7/2014
W/S Moved to MIL: 23/7/2014
My new place: 21/11/2014
W/S back to flat 22/11/2014
W coming closer, talking 4/2015
Piecing 5/2015
Moving in again 6/2015
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 3,401
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Hi Edz! It sounds like things are just really going well for you and I could not be happier or more excited for you. It all sounds wonderful and I notice such a change in you from your early posts. Bravo, Edz, Bravo!

I am taking my nephew to see Avengers this weekend, along with my youngest daughter and her fiance. We are looking forward to it. We will do our traditional trip to the movie, followed by a late lunch at our favorite burger joint. So excited to do this with my nephew. smile


Me 52, H53
Bomb drop 9/29/2014
Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships)
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edz Offline OP
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Hi Dawn

Thanks smile Still tempering my expectations and timescales, w emailed me a few times this morning then abruptly stopped mid conversation. A few months ago that would have sent me in a spin but not now, she needs time then we'll be where we'll be I have hope thats somewhere great. We'll see.

Hope you and nephew enjoy the movie, as I say we're heading out tomorrow I'll be trying the 3d version (normally avoided them as I had a headache once or twice then mr grumpy insisted I never try it again - banished him on this journey so giving it another bash!)

Cheers!

Edz


M:44, W:46, S:10
M 13 years, T 15
BD:23/7/2014
W/S Moved to MIL: 23/7/2014
My new place: 21/11/2014
W/S back to flat 22/11/2014
W coming closer, talking 4/2015
Piecing 5/2015
Moving in again 6/2015
Joined: Sep 2014
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Hi Edz. All sounding great mate. This is the time Edz is to be cool and take time. I know you are aware of this but just a gentle reminder. This is going to work out and Edz and his family will be back , Edz needs to give W a lot , lot more time. Things are going great and W is almost there but Edz wants her to think long and hard about the reconciliation because W has to want to give 150% to the new M and have no excuses like MIL to fall back on.

You've got this Edz , you should be really proud of the work you've put into Edz and the relationship with S.

Positive thoughts mate. Take care. Rd

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Hope you and nephew enjoy the movie, as I say we're heading out tomorrow I'll be trying the 3d version (normally avoided them as I had a headache once or twice then mr grumpy insisted I never try it again - banished him on this journey so giving it another bash!)


We are doing the Xtreme 3D version (think IMAX meets 3D). I don't typically like 3D either, but these movies are REALLY good on this particular screen, so we are going for it. I hope y'all enjoy as well. smile

Last edited by Dawn70; 04/29/15 04:57 PM.

Me 52, H53
Bomb drop 9/29/2014
Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships)
6 grandkids
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,720
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Its alright for you people who can see 3D frown


Theres not much really to say edz as it seems your doing all the right things.

I admire your commitment to morning exercises though. my snooze button normally wins that battle (It'd probably help if I didnt keep injuring myself as well)

I know it keeps being said but if i think about the progress in your situation between the edz today and teh edz i remember sorting stuff in the previous flat then it is a world of sunshine and rainbows apart.

keep up the good work


Both mid 30s, 2 young kids
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edz Offline OP
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Hi All

Jim, Avengers 2 in 3D was really good, I had some issues with the 3D due to my eye alignment but mostly it worked well and apart from a little eyestrain no headache which shows I put off seeing a lot of these movies due to intransigence more than anything else. Morning exercises continue most days (sometimes when s and I have an early start they may get pushed) up to a set of 30 pull ups (on back pull self up with arms), 35 trunk rolls, 40 pilates moves (cat with balance I believe it is) and then a final 35 trunk rolls (then a hot shower!).

Yes, I looked back at some of my postings from just a month ago and realise the changes *in me* over that time.

So yesterday normal morning s was here as he had a bit of a sore throat so didnt want to go to skating, we went and picked w up and went to the movies, very good. Then w, s and I went down to the beach and took a walk along the pier and back before getting some lunch. W made some positive comments on the changes in what I eat as well as my weight. Took them back to the flat and was invited around, picked up a cold bottle of wine from home and s's controller and went around.

S and I played a few games, s got upset when it was time to finish and have a bath but I was able to calmly talk to him and w and i worked as a team moving him to bath time. W was happy of the company so we watched some TV together with s before his bed time. We ended up talking again into the small hours (I got home just before 1am) lots on what w is working through before comitting, her mum and lots else including options on options on moving location etc it was very positive and I held the PMA and tone that I want us together as a family and as a couple, w said that she sees that as a really good outcome too she is working through issues and making sure its right and she's sure.

Very positive, w commented just how far she feels we've come in the past few months insofar as talking and as a family unit, she made some very positive comments but still couches them in still thinking, still need space comments which is to be expected, we talked of more family days out and places we'd like to properly holiday at as a family, things as a couple and again that I do want her to get out and do things (GAL) and have her space, no interest in the way things were when we were all unhappy.

Nothings going to immediately change and I'll keep giving her her space and time, we talked over a lot of s behaviours and how we can work together on those. W acknowledged some things are tricky to plan for while she is working things through, whether he goes to a school/part time or stays full HE and a lot else.

If it had been earlier we'd probably have kept on chatting but even with coffee at midnight we were both getting tired so I headed back to the BFT and bed. Got a hug at the doorstep and was told to drive safely.

A very full positive day.

Today well after a very sunny bright start its clouded over a little but that may pass. Off for a walk at lunchtime nothing planned for this evening after some busy days but w is getting to be a little spontaneous in popping by or calling up who knows what may happen.

Cheers all.


Last edited by edz; 04/30/15 10:39 AM.

M:44, W:46, S:10
M 13 years, T 15
BD:23/7/2014
W/S Moved to MIL: 23/7/2014
My new place: 21/11/2014
W/S back to flat 22/11/2014
W coming closer, talking 4/2015
Piecing 5/2015
Moving in again 6/2015
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