Thanks u-turn, that means a lot. I know I can do this. I know that it will be difficult at times, and easier at others.
I am having the most trouble with really detaching, and dropping expectations. I have already begun making plans to make my house my own, and fixing up things that have gone by the wayside over the years.
Outside of the house, I have a great group of friends (though most are near the place W is moving to, 30 min+ away), am no longer afraid to go places by myself, and I have good physical outlets with walks in the park and going to the gym.
Me: 30, W: 29 S: 4 T: 14 M: 5 BD: March, 2015, ILYBNILWY, IDLY, Need Space OM, EA/PA Discovered (drunken kissing, she says she stopped there? NOPE!): March 2015 S: April 25th, 2015
This will hopefully help you get yourself together. It is so tough with young children though - I'm sure.
Those things: house, friends; they will be a savior for you - I have let some things go in the house partially because of the unsure path of my situation - knowing that you will be staying gives you a great opportunity to make it yours. Repairing and improving is a great boost for yourself too.
I have read through your story and I really feel for you. I understand the conflicting feelings that you have with looking forward to separating, but still thinking of the forever you were planning - I get it.
Good luck!
Me-45 W-44 S21, S18, D15 T-27, M-21 BD Jan 2014 PA revealed March 2014 In-house separation - April 2015 I filed - Aug 2015 She moved out Oct 2015
Found out the OM's name the other day, and that he is married (non-legally separated), no kids. This is just twisted and sick.
Me: 30, W: 29 S: 4 T: 14 M: 5 BD: March, 2015, ILYBNILWY, IDLY, Need Space OM, EA/PA Discovered (drunken kissing, she says she stopped there? NOPE!): March 2015 S: April 25th, 2015
JAS It is tough to know this information (though useful in some aspects also) - I also know too much about OM and his family. I even helped him (donated and helped him build pinewood derby track for his kids cub scouts) a couple years ago before W met him. These things occupy too much of our brains - don't they?
I wish some things could be un-seen.
Good luck today - what are your plans?
Me-45 W-44 S21, S18, D15 T-27, M-21 BD Jan 2014 PA revealed March 2014 In-house separation - April 2015 I filed - Aug 2015 She moved out Oct 2015
Well, u, I have a friend here with me while she moves her stuff, then we'll probably hang out for a bit, then I'll go pick up my son from my mom's and clean up the house a little bit.
Kinda cold here today, so anything outside will be brief. Not much to do in the evening.
It hurts that I am seeing my son's behaviors change already. I slept for a while at my mom's last night, and my son kept waking me up to make sure I was "still there". I woke him up when I left, told him to have a good day with Grammy, and that I would be back this afternoon. Hugs, kisses, and a tear.
He has also been super-obedient the past couple days, which is out of character for him. He is doing things as soon as I ask him once, where usually, I would have to redirect his focus several times in order to do things like getting dressed, putting toys away, etc.
Me: 30, W: 29 S: 4 T: 14 M: 5 BD: March, 2015, ILYBNILWY, IDLY, Need Space OM, EA/PA Discovered (drunken kissing, she says she stopped there? NOPE!): March 2015 S: April 25th, 2015
Move is done. She also found out I was looking at her cell account.
Time to move on.
Me: 30, W: 29 S: 4 T: 14 M: 5 BD: March, 2015, ILYBNILWY, IDLY, Need Space OM, EA/PA Discovered (drunken kissing, she says she stopped there? NOPE!): March 2015 S: April 25th, 2015
W called to say goodnight to S4 about an hour ago. He is sleeping, dogs have been out, house is quiet, and it feels... Much like it has the past few weeks when W was out of the house doing her own thing.
The real test will start next Friday, when S4 is with W for her first week with him.
Had a couple of low points today, but overall, very OK. At one of the low points, I randomly got some supportive text messages from a couple coworkers who I have confided in over the past month or so.
The one that gave me some positive tears was, "You mean a lot to a lot of people". They didn't even know how much I needed something like that, at exactly that moment.
I am blessed, and I will be OK.
Last edited by JAS84; 04/26/1501:12 AM.
Me: 30, W: 29 S: 4 T: 14 M: 5 BD: March, 2015, ILYBNILWY, IDLY, Need Space OM, EA/PA Discovered (drunken kissing, she says she stopped there? NOPE!): March 2015 S: April 25th, 2015
Charity walk was good. S4 pounded out those 3 miles like a champ! Lots of fun and games at the starting area as well.
Afterwards, we went to the restaurant my stepmother works at for lunch.
After an early start to the day, both of us are in need of a nap.
Me: 30, W: 29 S: 4 T: 14 M: 5 BD: March, 2015, ILYBNILWY, IDLY, Need Space OM, EA/PA Discovered (drunken kissing, she says she stopped there? NOPE!): March 2015 S: April 25th, 2015
The one that gave me some positive tears was, "You mean a lot to a lot of people". They didn't even know how much I needed something like that, at exactly that moment.
I am blessed, and I will be OK.
Hello JAS,
That was such a wonderful text to receive. How caring and thoughtful of that person! And I'm sure it is true.
I am not overly religious, but I have posted this in several threads. I hope you find some comfort in it:
‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future’ (Jeremiah 29:11).
Take care!
Bob
Me:55 yrs/W:51 yrs (has MS) M:14 yrs T:15 yrs No children together--3 each from previous marriages Wife Moved Out: 10/19/14 Wife Filed for Divorce: 10/20/14 Divorce Final: 10/21/15
