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parker7 Offline OP
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I think loneliness. Satisfaction as well.


SITCH Years of infidelity by me/H, working on perm change, DEC 2014
ILYBNILWY JAN 2105
OM JAN 2015
W says I plan to move out and file for D April 1, 2015
Dbing April 2015
H-39, W-37, M 18yrs, S-9
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 12,602
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Have you done anything about that? Did you always need sexual gratification? I really think you need to get rid of that if you want to kick this thing with all the other women.


M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

RECONCILED AND WISER
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parker7 Offline OP
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Mr Bond:
I agree porn has to be gone permenantly.
I also have to stop worrying about what the W is doing and continue to work on myself. Looked at phone records tonight and saw that she is now texting a different male co worker 20 times or more a day and having long phone conversations with him. I know she is finally getting the attention she long deserved but it still hurts like hell!


SITCH Years of infidelity by me/H, working on perm change, DEC 2014
ILYBNILWY JAN 2105
OM JAN 2015
W says I plan to move out and file for D April 1, 2015
Dbing April 2015
H-39, W-37, M 18yrs, S-9
Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 62
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parker7 Offline OP
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Yes, sex was what the A's were about also.


SITCH Years of infidelity by me/H, working on perm change, DEC 2014
ILYBNILWY JAN 2105
OM JAN 2015
W says I plan to move out and file for D April 1, 2015
Dbing April 2015
H-39, W-37, M 18yrs, S-9
Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 1,902
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Originally Posted By: parker7

I also have to stop worrying about what the W is doing and continue to work on myself. Looked at phone records tonight and saw that she is now texting a different male co worker 20 times or more a day and having long phone conversations with him. I know she is finally getting the attention she long deserved but it still hurts like hell!


It will hurt but its what shes believes she wants/needs in her life right now and you need to step back and focus on yourself. Snooping in the phone records wont help you. If you see bad thing (lots of communication with another man) you get hurt. If you see good things(no communication with another man) you gain expectations, which cause issues for you later. Lose-lose situation.


Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be
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To be honest, if you can't control your sex drive, then you haven't changed. Have you been to sex addiction therapy?


M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

RECONCILED AND WISER
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Posts: 62
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parker7 Offline OP
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Fogg: your right on brother. I will continue to focus on myself.


SITCH Years of infidelity by me/H, working on perm change, DEC 2014
ILYBNILWY JAN 2105
OM JAN 2015
W says I plan to move out and file for D April 1, 2015
Dbing April 2015
H-39, W-37, M 18yrs, S-9
Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 62
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parker7 Offline OP
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Mr Bond: I've not looked at porn in almost 5 months and no sex in 4 months since with my W last. That's way under control for me but I need to do even better and figure out even why the need is there.


SITCH Years of infidelity by me/H, working on perm change, DEC 2014
ILYBNILWY JAN 2105
OM JAN 2015
W says I plan to move out and file for D April 1, 2015
Dbing April 2015
H-39, W-37, M 18yrs, S-9
Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 62
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parker7 Offline OP
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So you're on the right track with your behavior. Now keep going. How do you feel when you're not doing something to keep busy? What's your default state? Why?

Zues,

What is a default state?

Currently, when I am not keeping busy, of course I think about my sitch. My W, and my family.
Before the crisis I would feel lonely, bored, sometimes empty when I was not real busy. So I filled it with porn, pursuit of women.


SITCH Years of infidelity by me/H, working on perm change, DEC 2014
ILYBNILWY JAN 2105
OM JAN 2015
W says I plan to move out and file for D April 1, 2015
Dbing April 2015
H-39, W-37, M 18yrs, S-9
Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 62
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parker7 Offline OP
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Zues or anyone?

Can I do anything more for my W currently? DB coach says be her friend, don't be pushy, be kind, respectful, keep working on me and show the change when I can. Do nothing about the O Men.


SITCH Years of infidelity by me/H, working on perm change, DEC 2014
ILYBNILWY JAN 2105
OM JAN 2015
W says I plan to move out and file for D April 1, 2015
Dbing April 2015
H-39, W-37, M 18yrs, S-9
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