I will probably have someone else here. I just don't want my children put in the middle of it. My daughter was very close to him and he has totally cast her aside as well. I think it's a mixture of both. Also, he has some outstanding bills he has to take care of and I'm afraid that once he takes his stuff he won't. I'm on disability right now and money is tight. I should not have to pay for his outstanding bills. Fool that I was I left all the bills in my name.
Di-mond in the rough M-45 H-38 My children S-25 D-23 T 5 M 4 H left April Fools Day 2015
Pilot Also, this is the only interaction we will get and as much as it frightens me I have to show him that I'm ok and that I can and will go on without him!
Hello Diana!
I meant to ask you last night why this interaction frightens you? The pressure? Afraid of saying something "wrong"? Just nervous overall? I understand any or all of those.
Hang in there. It seems like you are making progress.
Bob
Me:55 yrs/W:51 yrs (has MS) M:14 yrs T:15 yrs No children together--3 each from previous marriages Wife Moved Out: 10/19/14 Wife Filed for Divorce: 10/20/14 Divorce Final: 10/21/15
Show him nothing but contentment, serenity, and grace. You are detached. Lovingly indifferent.
Your feelings will try to ambush you. Don't walk into it. I'm thinking the best for you and look forward to hearing how it went.
Diana, RealMe gave you excellent advice. I'm thinking the best for you as well.
RealMe, you are doing a fantastic job trying to help others. You have come so far in such a short time. Keep it up . . . you can do this. Getting involved in other people's situations is very healthy. As a side benefit, you may read about a situation similar to yours that can end up benefiting your DB process.
Take care Diana and RealMe. I am proud of both of you.
Bob
Me:55 yrs/W:51 yrs (has MS) M:14 yrs T:15 yrs No children together--3 each from previous marriages Wife Moved Out: 10/19/14 Wife Filed for Divorce: 10/20/14 Divorce Final: 10/21/15
What an exhausting day. Riding a motorcycle all day long is exhausting. Thankfully I did not dump my bike even once. One more day tomorrow.
I went for coffee with my H today. We ended up talking for over 2 hours. And I did everything wrong lol!!! I did start out very happy, actually I still am happy. No reconciliation, but there is still love. He wants to go out riding with me when I get my bike next week and was totally flabbergasted that I'm getting my licence and bought a bike. He is so happy for me! We will date and see where it goes. Biggest concern for him has always been the dependence of my adult children on me to provide for them and the multitude of animals. Now I have only 2 that actually belong to me, the rest my son brought into the household but doesn't take care of. I have to figure out what to do about that. I know I indulged my kids for far too long to the point of running myself ragged and then becoming sick. Yes my H left me during the worst time of my life, but if he didn't I would still be on my path of destruction. This has snapped me out if it. I need to take care of me!!! I need to find my own happiness! I have to take control of my health and live! Lots to think about and figure out. Regardless of what happens, I will forever be grateful to him for doing that.
Di-mond in the rough M-45 H-38 My children S-25 D-23 T 5 M 4 H left April Fools Day 2015
Yes my H left me during the worst time of my life, but if he didn't I would still be on my path of destruction. This has snapped me out if it. I need to take care of me!!! I need to find my own happiness! I have to take control of my health and live! Lots to think about and figure out. Regardless of what happens, I will forever be grateful to him for doing that.
Hi Diana!
I am so happy that you had a great time and did not dump your motorcycle once. Woo hoo!
I am also happy you had a chance to meet up with your H, even if you feel like you did the wrong things. Can you give us one example?
Your comment about needing to take care of yourself is so, so true. Since I started doing that, I feel better about my sitch with my WAW, even though we are not any closer to reconciling. I did have some things to work on and will continue to. Most were (are) related to low self-esteem.
Take care.
Bob
Me:55 yrs/W:51 yrs (has MS) M:14 yrs T:15 yrs No children together--3 each from previous marriages Wife Moved Out: 10/19/14 Wife Filed for Divorce: 10/20/14 Divorce Final: 10/21/15
I poured my heart out to him. I didn't cry or became emotional and agreed with him on things he had issues with. I was firm on the fact that I did not want a divorce and wanted to work on our marriage. He doesn't want to give me " false" hope, but does want to interact more with me. I told him either there is hope or there isn't and that I have hope and faith that things will work out the way they are supposed to. He did tell me that he loves me and that he knows and always has that I love him. Now the shocker.....he told me today that he plans on moving himself and his business 2 hours south of here. Surprisingly enough, I agree with him. He will do so much better there. Now I still need to work on myself and we still have many issues to resolve, but I am not adverse to moving there to be with him....later. He made sure to tell me a few times that him moving does not mean the end of us. Lots to think about!!!
On a really happy note......I passed my motorcycle course!!! Woohoo!!! I am so sunburnt and tired. Lol!
Di-mond in the rough M-45 H-38 My children S-25 D-23 T 5 M 4 H left April Fools Day 2015
From the way you described it, it sounds like you did well. I am so happy for you...keep it up! It sounds like there is hope for your M.
Also, as you mentioned, keep working on yourself. We all need to do this--it's a life-long process.
And . . . congratulations on passing your motorcycle course!
Woo Hoo!
Bob
Me:55 yrs/W:51 yrs (has MS) M:14 yrs T:15 yrs No children together--3 each from previous marriages Wife Moved Out: 10/19/14 Wife Filed for Divorce: 10/20/14 Divorce Final: 10/21/15
I have a lot of soul searching to do. I never really left " home", although I really wanted to. I stayed close to be with my family, my mom, brother and my children. My kids are adults, but still act like teenagers. I want to help them, but don't want to do everything for them. I just can't anymore! Do I work towards being able to move away and be with him? Can I trust him not to leave me again if my illness progresses? Those are things to think about in the future I guess. For now I need to concentrate on me and when we do get together to have a good time.
Di-mond in the rough M-45 H-38 My children S-25 D-23 T 5 M 4 H left April Fools Day 2015
