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junior,
Since you are new to the forum, I'd thought I'd let you know that it is best to keep to one thread and when the reply count reaches 100 postings, then begin a new thread.

When we have more than one thread going at a time, it is difficult for the posters to keep up w/your life and progress, as well as it creates some level of difficulty for the posters to go back and re-read their postings to see just how much progress that they have made.

I believe your first posting on this thread is the same as the one you posted on your other thread.

I'm going to post your current thread link to this one to help the posters.

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2557672&page=1


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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So is this a midlife crisis, or has she just gave up on me, and found her true love as she says? She said she wasn't fishing for another but ended up having feeling for him and may love him! What can I do, don't want to be desperate, but don't want to sit back and watch this horror movie still playing out and in the end I die inside more!


Junior
D18, S16, S15 , S12 Gs15months
M moved out March/15 2 days later wanted divorce. OM so called friends since Nov/14.
April 22/15 they are now more than friends.
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Junior,

I feel for you, sweetie.

I am a reformed MLCer. This is a very, very painful journey for the LBS with a MLCer. The best thing YOU can do for yourself and W is to back the heck off.

I'd suggest that you start reading all of Cali's threads by starting with this most recent one: Get married they said...It'll be fun .

There are no magic bullets in this. There's no quick fix to this. Turn the focus back to YOU because that's the only thing you can control.

I'd start by reading all of the links Cadet posted in the beginning.

Keep coming here and POST as much as you can. We all have been where you are now...and get what you are experiencing now.

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I'm so hurt, a friend sent me pictures of them together this past week. I'm really was not expecting that. Now I feel like my world is shutting down. I knew they were talking and he was from out of town 2 hours away, but now he had been together with her. All she can say is for me to move on. Am I stupid for not moving on and still here wanting my family! Now I'm lost and stuck in a hard place! Move on she said, easier said than done! 💔😖 I just died inside!


Junior
D18, S16, S15 , S12 Gs15months
M moved out March/15 2 days later wanted divorce. OM so called friends since Nov/14.
April 22/15 they are now more than friends.
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Oh junior - so sorry you had to see pictures, that's just awful. I am surprised that you wrote "friend" - what sort of friend would do such a horrible thing -

junior you are going to drive yourself insane if you don't take a step back from your w and what she is doing/saying.

Yeah, move on - with yourself. Working on detaching, 180, PMA and GAL, read all of Cadets links that were sent to you at the beginning. It will give you better understanding for what is happening to your w and how to best survive this.

I don't know if your w is in MLC - its one of those things that we see the signs, they fit the script but only time will tell if this is MLC or not, until then if you choose to stand for your m then you need to start to moving forwards with YOU.

Yeah, she is "in love" she has feelings for om, he is the best thing that has ever happened yadda yadda yadda - he is a shiny new toy, she will soon get bored of him once the euphoria has worn off - my h said the same; told me ow made him feel like he has never felt before, she was it for him, he had finally found love - yep, apparently never loved me for 24yrs! - but 6 months on the cracks are appearing, the real him and her are being shown and h has admitted to my s she was a mistake and is trying to work out how to get out of the mess he has made.

If you pay attention to everything your w says and take to heart everything she does, you are going to be in for one very painful journey. Seriously, its painful and hard enough as it is, the trick is to minimise it as much as you can by detaching yourself from her -

I really do understand what you are feeling and going through, you can and will make it through this, stay strong - you are doing great.

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Thanks, LouR. I said a friend because she's telling not to be blind. That's in front of my face, because how they say love is blind, and I didn't except it till now. Been Thinking of getting away for a couple of weeks out of town to clear my thought, before I start on my dialysis. Been trying to find Cadets posts from the beginning, but I can't find it. I would love to read them, but It [censored] that we have to share this pain.Funny, all the pain medication they give me, and won't take my pain away! Smh!


Junior
D18, S16, S15 , S12 Gs15months
M moved out March/15 2 days later wanted divorce. OM so called friends since Nov/14.
April 22/15 they are now more than friends.
Joined: Nov 2014
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Cadet's post is the second one in your thread - it contains links to posts that are useful to your sitch. I just checked and its still there - but if you can't find it then request it be re posted, I am sure cadet will help you out.

Check out other's threads too - you will find ones that you will identify with.

Ironic isn't it - pain is nature's way of healing - of helping us process and let go. Don't fight it, allow it to flow and take its course, I promise you it does get better (I have questioned that sentence so many times on here, and if one more person said "time" to me I was going to commit an unthinkable crime !!) I know; you are the one living it, feeling it and hurting - hang on in there -

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junior1 Offline OP
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Thanx. My daughter is so mad at her. She's not talking to her. She said, that love is blind so pray that God takes that blind fold of and realize that the pain she is causing and she see what down grade she is settling for. He's got 3 kids, live 2 hours away, and his wife left him, for another. I know this dont matter, but my wife is beautiful and this guy is twice my size in weight. She must be sick! Lol!


Junior
D18, S16, S15 , S12 Gs15months
M moved out March/15 2 days later wanted divorce. OM so called friends since Nov/14.
April 22/15 they are now more than friends.
Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 23
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junior1 Offline OP
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Question!!! If you read my story and she is Unhappy for years she said, now going out with OM and tells me I'm stopping her from her happiness, because she loves him. In my story does it sound like she's in a midlife crisis or am just really stopping her from her so called true love? She doesn't feel that she is hurting the family. She says the kids understand her being unhappy, and is ok about the OM. They just don't want to hurt her feelings or talk about it, they are S12 S15 S16 D18 Gs15months, D18 is not happy with her and moved out. Wife don't care cause she is 18. So I'm losing it! I want my marriage,but what is the truth! I everyone says this, but HELP!plz everybody give your opinions!


Junior
D18, S16, S15 , S12 Gs15months
M moved out March/15 2 days later wanted divorce. OM so called friends since Nov/14.
April 22/15 they are now more than friends.
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 7,319
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Junior,

We have all read your story. We know you're in pain.

You will do yourself a big favor if you start reading the links that Cadet posted in your thread on page 1. Start NOW. Some of the answers are contained in those links.

Have you ordered the Divorce Remedy book?

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