Yes I did meet with him. He had to go pick up SD from girl guide camp so by the time he was free to meet it was 430. I had to leave for work at 6pm so that didn't leave us much time. We were going to meet for coffee then he said he didn't feel like coffe so he wanted to meet at Menchies ( a frozen yogurt place by my place.)
Yummie
I met him outside on a bench.
Great so far!
He gave me a hug and asked if I felt like going to the Sushi place next to Menchies instead as he was now starving after the long drive from camp. So off we went into the Sushi place.
Practical. Were there any other choices?
We ordered a few things to share and started to chat about everything except us.
well within Sandi guidelines.
It was not a place where you could have a private convo and we didn't have much time so I just went with the flow.
Several more meetings using this castle strategy.
We had an enjoyable time and had no problem keeping up a convo, he seemed to enjoy my company and would have stayed longer if I hadn't had to leave for work.
Keep it short. leave early be the first to move on. Be warm but busy with your life and GAL.
He hugged me again when I left and he paid for our meal.
So far so DB.
What I thought was going to be a coffee and talk ended up being more like a date.
dear one, not a date. A warm picnic style interaction. H may well back track. leave him to make the next contact.
So confusing. I don't know whether to ask to talk or just leave it and see what he does.
The latter. He seems very comfortable with me and more like his old self before BD. he even picked up my half eaten prawn and finished it. Lol
careful, get lots of GAL in. No expectations. It's very soon in the process. If he wants to piece he will be very upfront.
Seeing him more like his old self stirs old feelings in me. It's been almost three hrs and there is still a connection. I don't know what to think
There will be! You have been DB after all. That is what becoming someone only a fool will leave looks like isn't it?
Sounds ok, put it out of your mind and that's hard. Remember the castle and the picnic? It's worked for Edz. You are going to need more Intel aren't you Karma?
And a fireman or two to distract.
Lovely interactions.
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
Hahaha....thanks V. You are the best. Yes I have been DB and just living my life. Have not made any attempts to see STBX. He has been in contact via text and email regarding SD and my brother ( giving some advice on custody). I sent him an email too reminding him of the rest of the money he owes me. I asked to see SD for dinner tomorrow. I am now tanned and will look fabulous when I pick her up. Just living my life and not over thinking anything.
Hugs
Karma
Me 52 H 44 T9 M 5 BD 12/11 H split 8/12 OW moved in 12/12 OW gone for good 6/14 We get closer again 9/14 SD 13 Me 4 Grown
Accept what is...let go of what was and have faith in what will be.
Picked up SD. STBX invited me in. He chatted to me while I waited for SD. Poured me a small glass of vino and one for himself and made a point of saying cheers, and taping our glasses. Lol SD and I left shortly after. He gave both of a hug good bye at the door. When I brought SD. Back he chatted more at the door. Offering his help to my brother for his legal stuff. Talked a bit about my kids and then I said I better go. I have work in the am. I hugged SD. Goodbye and left. I got a text from SD about 30 mins later saying guess where Dad and I are? I guessed the frozen yogurt place by my place. She had said no they were out for hot wings. I said well what a fun Dad and daughter date. I said eat on for me and enjoy. He would have been aware she was texting and probably asked what is said. Now I am off to bed. Work in the am. Yawn!
Me 52 H 44 T9 M 5 BD 12/11 H split 8/12 OW moved in 12/12 OW gone for good 6/14 We get closer again 9/14 SD 13 Me 4 Grown
Accept what is...let go of what was and have faith in what will be.
So tonight my STBX sent me an email to help out my Brother in his custody issues with his ex. Lol. He really is very intelligent and I think missed his calling. He'd make a great Lawyer.
Some of what he wrote reminded me of the arguments he gave his lawyer when we were fighting for custody of SD. Eg....the material change is he is now married in a long term stable relationship. The child has bonded with the Step Mother whom is a positive maternal role model. She will benefit from a large extended family.
I felt tempted to write back thx....too bad SD doesn't get to live the life you promised which was all of above. Of course I didn't. What I did write back was.
Thanks! I will send this to them right away. They will be very Happy to get it as they are meeting with their lawyer tomorrow at 3. I added that my my brother M was very lucky to have his wife M stand by him through this. She has been good to my niece and provided a nice home for them. When the chips are down that's all that really matters. Having your family there for you. Heading to bed now...thx again....K. Little message in there....hahaha.
My brother was very grateful though as the info STBX provided will be helpful. I said yep he's good for something's....hahaha.
Me 52 H 44 T9 M 5 BD 12/11 H split 8/12 OW moved in 12/12 OW gone for good 6/14 We get closer again 9/14 SD 13 Me 4 Grown
Accept what is...let go of what was and have faith in what will be.
My brother has continued to have issues with his ex W. It has created more contact with my STBX. as he has been helping my brother with some of the legal stuff. My brother is remarried and has been divorced for six yrs. His ex W was a WAS and now tries to rewrite the story to make my brother out to be the WAS. She is trying to reduce his access to their daughter and causing him a lot of grief.
I sent my STBX the legal info my brother received yesterday. I was at work and had been asked by my brother to come over after work. My STBX called me ( he doesn't call often usually texts) and we talked about my brothers situation. I told him I was going to my brothers later after work and asked if he would join me there and explain to my brother what he was telling me. I said I understand everything you are telling me but I am not you and don't know how to answer their questions like you would. He agreed to come and then went on to tell me about some work things and other stuff in his own life. I finally had to say I really have to go my break is over and I have to get back to my patients. He seemed to enjoy talking to me and didn't want the convo to stop. He was going on at length with his stories. Before his MLC he would always share his stories with me. He said I was always very supportive and a good listener.
He had asked me to text him after work and let him know when we would be going to my brothers. I did and he said he would be ready in a half hour. I told him I would walk to my brothers and meet him there.
When he arrived he had brought SD. Once she heard where he was going she wanted to come too. They were both greeted warmly by my brother and his wife and we set SD up upstairs with a movie so we could have our adult convo.
This was the first time my STBX had seen my brother since we separated almost 3 yrs ago. STBX took a chair from the dining room and sat opposite me and my sister law. ( we were on the couch). My brother poured STBX some wine and then STBX changed his seat and sat on the end of the couch closer to me. We all chatted for a couple of hours and STBX was very helpful with his advice to my Brother. I had gone up and checked on SD and she had fallen asleep pretty quickly after the movie started. When they were going to go STBX asked me to go get SD and he then picked up my dog and pretended to take her. I said oh no you don't. Lol We walked SD and STBX to the door and they both hugged me as they left.
My brother and sister in law said Well that was interesting. I said What was interesting. They said they both noticed that STBX had originally sat at a distance and then moved closer. They said that they caught him watching me and looking at me many times. They said when I would get up and walk across the room his eyes would leave them and follow me. They said he was very aware of you at all times. I said I have noticed he is very comfortable around me but didn't know he was watching me. It was interesting to have someone else see us together and observe our interactions.
STBX texted when he got home and said he hoped he had helped. I thanked him and said he had. I told him I appreciated his help as he is very knowledgeable when it comes to these issues. I said Charlie agrees ( that's my dog) He joked about their venting and i joked back. Then I said We are so smart! Why is it we are apart again? Lol GNite. He sent back a smile lol and GNite. It was done tongue and cheek. He knew it and I could tell he enjoyed the interaction.
I am noticing that STBX is more like his old self before his MLC. He is now able to engage with me and enjoy the interaction. I will just leave him now to ponder all that and continue to GAL.
Me 52 H 44 T9 M 5 BD 12/11 H split 8/12 OW moved in 12/12 OW gone for good 6/14 We get closer again 9/14 SD 13 Me 4 Grown
Accept what is...let go of what was and have faith in what will be.
I always look forward to your two bits V. Lol No worries....I am keeping busy.
Today I took SD to Hot Yoga with me and out for dinner. STBX picked her up at 1115pm at my place. He had said earlier that he didn't know she was going to yoga too. I reminded him I had texted him. He said " well I don't read all my texts" I'm busy with work ect." . He had wanted SD to empty the dishwasher and take the dog for a walk before going for dinner with me. I said " ok we have time. sD empty the dishwasher and walk the dog." Easy and done. Lol when we left I asked whether he was picking up SD or I was to drop her off. He said I may go to the gym. Check in later" I said ok you text me. I don't want to text you if you aren't going to read it." He looked at me and smiled realizing how stupid his earlier response had been. I said Now I guess I will have to be a stalker saying did you read my text?" SD said " girl power" He smiled and we left.
I had a lovely time with SD. I had already run with my dog before picking her up. She did great in HoT Yoga! We then had her Gran meet us for dinner and came back here to my place for a movie. I looked really nice when STBX picked up SD. I was confident and cheerful. I noticed him looking at me. I did not try and extend the visit and sent them on their way. I only reminded him of my need for a travel letter for our trip to Mexico.
I think my MLC STBX is still trying to sort himself out. I will continue to be the Wife that only a fool would leave. I have a life and feel good about myself. If it is not him I will be happy and he will get left behind. Time will tell.
Glad to see you are posting V. Hope you are doing well.
Me 52 H 44 T9 M 5 BD 12/11 H split 8/12 OW moved in 12/12 OW gone for good 6/14 We get closer again 9/14 SD 13 Me 4 Grown
Accept what is...let go of what was and have faith in what will be.
