Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 1 of 5 1 2 3 4 5
Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 23
J
junior1 Offline OP
New Member
OP Offline
New Member
J
Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 23
So after 18 years my wife wants a divorce. We had our ups and downs. We just moved to a new apartment then she tells me she wants so time apart, so I agreed to go to me brothers for awhile so we can have some space. A week later she tells me she wants a divorce! She said she'd been unhappy for years, that were poison together, she's faked the marriage for years for the kids, and that she loves me, but she doesn't feel anything for me. I've caught her chatting with other men on fb and on instagram. Is to much into her looks dressing sexier, working out allot, long showers singing love songs naked in the mirrors for at least 2 hours staring at herself. She is fixing to turn 35, I am 40 we have 4 kids and a grand baby, but doesn't tell people that she is a grandma. I am sick right now, had an amputation 4 years ago, going thru dialysis right now waiting for a kidney transplant. She stopped working in November. I've been holding the house hold by myself with my income that's not allot since I'm disabled. I left to my brother for about 6 weeks now. She wants a divorce, but she wants the apartment the car to find work and the kids, while I still pay or give her child support. I'm still paying everything and that freaking cell phone, knowing that she talks to other guys (so called her friend, that she never met, she says) I love my wife, she is not the person I know. What to do? So confused and hurt, but still holding on by a string! Help plz! Is this MLC or I'm just a bad husband! Junior


Junior
D18, S16, S15 , S12 Gs15months
M moved out March/15 2 days later wanted divorce. OM so called friends since Nov/14.
April 22/15 they are now more than friends.
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 13,533
Likes: 78
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 13,533
Likes: 78
Welcome to this board.

The first thing you should do is be sure to read the Divorce Remedy book by MWD,
Divorce Busting is also an excellent book.
http://www.mcssl.com/store/mwdtc2014/
http://divorcebusting.com/sample_book_chapters.htm

Keep this to yourself. DO NOT share this book or this site at all with your spouse. It is your playbook and not to be shared with the "opposing" team.

It is important to clear the search/browsing history from your computer on a daily basis to prevent the possibility for your WAS to stumble on the DB site and discover your posts here on DB. Erasing the search history will protect your posts and you as well.

Sorry you are here but you will meet some wonderful people here and get some great advice.

You may be on moderation now, post in small frequent replies and stay on this thread until you reach 100 posts (for your thread, you can also post on other peoples threads to give support)

I have read a good deal of books on the subject and can give you some suggestions when you are ready.

Take the parts of this advice that you need and don't worry if I have repeated something that you have already done.

I will give you a bunch of homework assignments to read.

This POST is under reconstruction and we will be working on this as time goes by, this is the most current version.


I would start with the going dark link.
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=50956#Post50956

Abbreviations
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2553153#Post2553153

Detachment thread
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2537289#Post2537289

Resources thread(last post only)
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2539710#Post2539710

Stages of the LBS
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1964990&page=1

Validation
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=191764#Post191764

Doormat Tactics
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...444#Post1942444

Standing vs leaving
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1966340&page=1

Pursuit and Distance
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2483574#Post2483574

Musings from AmyC
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2253741#Post2253741

MLC Signs
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2177869#Post2177869

The Final Stages Withdrawal to Acceptance
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2074403&page=1

Now you have all the tools to read. Let us know how your doing and if you have any questions.

I suggest that you read the entire thread in the resources.
You can also pick out some people and read their whole story.

Depression is the key to the whole thing and it is always present!

Believe none of what he/she says and 50% of what he/she does.

I would not ask him/her anything unless you can have no expectations.
Sometimes asking them questions will be thought of as pressure.
You do not want to do anything that can be thought of by your H/W as controlling or pressure.

Lets not worry about him/her. Lets work on you!
Start your homework assignments.
Something to DO while you are on moderation.
GAL.
Eat, sleep, exercise and take a deep breath.
In general take care of your self first.

Detach the single most important thing to DO.


Your H/W has given you a gift
THE GIFT OF TIME
use it wisely

Knowledge is Power - Sir Francis Bacon


Me-70, D37,S36
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 13,533
Likes: 78
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 13,533
Likes: 78
Originally Posted By: junior1
Is this MLC

Sounds like it could be!

You need to protect yourself financially.

She can have the apartment but you should not be paying for it.
Cut off the cell phone too.

Speak with a lawyer for a free consultation and see what your rights are.


Me-70, D37,S36
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 28,295
Likes: 112
job Offline
Member
Offline
Member
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 28,295
Likes: 112
I am so sorry that you are here, but you are among a good group of people who are at various stages of dealing w/the crisis people.

Please protect your assets. Remove her from the credit cards or call and reduce the credit card limit. If she wants a cell phone, she can pay for it. If you are paying for the apartment, move back in. If she wants a divorce, then she should be the one to move out, not you. Is there public transportation near the apartment? If so, she can use it. You need the car for your appointments, etc.

I know it's devastating to have your wife drop this bomb, i.e., telling you she wants a divorce. She's in fantasyland and there's nothing you can do to convince her to return to reality. She is in the "me" mode and trust me, she is only worried about herself. You will need to keep the focus on you and your children right now. If she is in crisis, it's a long haul and some come out of it and others don't.

Time to think about YOU...protect yourself at all costs. Again, I would move back into the apartment and let her go find some place to live. Keep in mind, she could very well state that you walked out and left them. Continue to take care of your children...but her...don't make it easy for her.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 23
J
junior1 Offline OP
New Member
OP Offline
New Member
J
Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 23
Not making it easy for her, does that work if I want her back? Trying not to be that ahole, but ay the same time I feel like an idiot paying for everything. Thinking I'm still her husband. One minute she's Ok when I'm paying for things then she'll get mad if I question something, then blow up in my face that she doesn't promise me nothing. Weekend comes I get the kids, she's out partying with idk who. Now I see new things like cosmetics, shoes, and miscellaneous things. I know she don't have money. I want my old wife back, but how!


Junior
D18, S16, S15 , S12 Gs15months
M moved out March/15 2 days later wanted divorce. OM so called friends since Nov/14.
April 22/15 they are now more than friends.
Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 23
J
junior1 Offline OP
New Member
OP Offline
New Member
J
Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 23
One minute she's Ok, next minute she's telling me to move on. I am confused. If this is a MLC. Has anybody had a return back from there nightmare, mine don't feel like it's going any better. It's like they say the heart wants what it wants, and that's my wife back! What to do!


Junior
D18, S16, S15 , S12 Gs15months
M moved out March/15 2 days later wanted divorce. OM so called friends since Nov/14.
April 22/15 they are now more than friends.
Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 23
J
junior1 Offline OP
New Member
OP Offline
New Member
J
Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 23
Has any H ever really got there W BACK?


Junior
D18, S16, S15 , S12 Gs15months
M moved out March/15 2 days later wanted divorce. OM so called friends since Nov/14.
April 22/15 they are now more than friends.
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 13,533
Likes: 78
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 13,533
Likes: 78
Originally Posted By: junior1
Has any H ever really got there W BACK?

The moderator on this forum Jack3Beans to name some one


Me-70, D37,S36
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 28,295
Likes: 112
job Offline
Member
Offline
Member
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 28,295
Likes: 112
Have you read the homework that Cadet provided to you? If so, you will come to realize that MLC takes years and depression is the major driver. Confusion will play out throughout the entire crisis. One minute things are fine, the next she will be all over the place, i.e., monster mode, wanting a divorce.

As for not making things easier for her...regardless of whether you want to make things easier for her, she's on a path of self destruction and yes, destruction of everything around her. No matter what you do or don't do, she will not be happy. She's looking for that illusive happiness and until she bottoms out and comes to realize that happiness comes from within, she'll continue to look.

YOU and only YOU can protect your assets and keep a close eye on your financials. Don't rely on her to be honest w/you. Mlcers are selfish and self absorb and do not care if you are living on the street w/two nickels to rub together, just as long as they get what they want and when they want it. You can rationalize w/someone who is irrational.

Continue to move forward and pray that she returns to this earth a more mature woman...but it's a long, long way off. Her crisis didn't begin at the bomb drop, but at 18-24 months before she announced she wanted out. There's nothing you can do to change her course...the only control you have is over yourself and what you do w/your life while she's on the Mother Ship.

Read as much as you can on MLC. The more knowledge you have, the better you will understand that you didn't break her, therefore you can't fix her. Dig deep for patience, as you will need it on your journey.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 2,523
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 2,523
Junior .... breathe

If this is MLC, and its possible by the sounds of it and what you described, this will not be over anytime soon, not weeks or even months .. talking YEARS. Not to dishearten you but I think my issue as many will tell you is I wanted things on a time table and it just does not work that way. This MLC thing stinks and its such a long journey ...

Originally Posted By: junior1
Not making it easy for her, does that work if I want her back? Trying not to be that ahole, but ay the same time I feel like an idiot paying for everything. Thinking I'm still her husband. One minute she's Ok when I'm paying for things then she'll get mad if I question something, then blow up in my face that she doesn't promise me nothing. Weekend comes I get the kids, she's out partying with idk who. Now I see new things like cosmetics, shoes, and miscellaneous things. I know she don't have money. I want my old wife back, but how!


I will tell you this ... your 'old wife' ... she is gone and will be for some time. If its anything like mine you might see glimpses of her here and there, or if she is like others she may never return.

My advice to you, you need to take all the energy you have and start rebuilding yourself. Things are going to hurt, its going to be painful but you will need to step up your game and be the best man and father you can possibly be, the trick is realizing you have to save yourself and not worry about saving your M or your W as they are just gone on vaca for the moment.


M: 48
W: 47
M16 T26-S8
BD Sept13



Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 12,602
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 12,602
"Has any H ever really got there W BACK?"

Yes.

Listen to the posters here. Read DB and DR.

Can you give us more of your marriage history? You can do this.


M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

RECONCILED AND WISER
Joined: Nov 2014
Posts: 574
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: Nov 2014
Posts: 574
I am so sorry that you find yourself here, but glad you have as you will get advise and support to get you through this minefield.

Everyone has different stories and are at various stages, some will be similar to yours, so read as many threads as you can and you will find ones that really resonate with you - as you are in the early stages (sorry to be the bearer of bad news) I advise you read stories from the beginning as then you will see how far others have come - it really is a long process for the lbs and the mlc'er, something I have struggled to accept myself.

Your w is in her own world now, spinning around trying to desperately seek happiness, she has not yet figured out that happiness comes from within, so until she does she will be searching for it - don't allow her to drag you along with her on her quest as it will destroy you - this is now all about YOU, taking control of your life, your actions and your thoughts.

I know that you are not getting the answer you are hoping to see, it is really demoralizing I know, but take this day by day, minute by minute if need be. Ask questions, vent or ramble about how you feel or even just about your day, someone is always here to listen.

You will be ok, you will get through this.

Last edited by LouR; 04/22/15 08:29 PM.
Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 23
J
junior1 Offline OP
New Member
OP Offline
New Member
J
Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 23
Thanks, the journey is going to Suck. My mind tells me to run, but my heart wants to stay and fight for my marriage.


Junior
D18, S16, S15 , S12 Gs15months
M moved out March/15 2 days later wanted divorce. OM so called friends since Nov/14.
April 22/15 they are now more than friends.
Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 23
J
junior1 Offline OP
New Member
OP Offline
New Member
J
Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 23
This is so painful! Fighting for my marrige, but can't do nothing! Just sit and watch while everything gets destroyed. I given her almost everything. Still calls to talk about how I need to take the kids every weekend and for the summer. I love my kids, but I don't even have my own place. It's like she needs her weekend to go party! She just started to work, but I know she won't have enough to pay the bills. Then I know she will use the kids, that is for them! I'm losing it cause I'm not that ahole that she keeps calling me, it's like I still want to help her. For some strange reason I still feel like HER HUSBAND! smh!


Junior
D18, S16, S15 , S12 Gs15months
M moved out March/15 2 days later wanted divorce. OM so called friends since Nov/14.
April 22/15 they are now more than friends.
Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 23
J
junior1 Offline OP
New Member
OP Offline
New Member
J
Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 23
Been together 15 years married 18, have 3 boys 1 girl, that I raised since she was 4 month old she is now 18 with my grandson of 16 months old. My boys are 12,15, and 16. My D18 doesn't know that I'm not her biological father she was 17 I was 21 when we meet. I was not the greatest husband in the beginning, I was to busy working on my car and cruising, so she stayed at home. My biggest mistake was on her 30th birthday, my high school friend from school kissed me outside while I was drunk. I pushed her off, but it was to late her family and friends saw it. With them that time after that I got sick. I got diabetes had my toes amputated. I've been in and out of the hospital. Last November 13 they amputated more of my leg, and all that medication, they killed my kidneys. Now I'm starting dialysis. It's been 7 weeks that I left the apartment. First it was take time apart to start over. To the next day I want a divorce. I know she's been talking to another man. She's acting like a lil school girl in love, while he's telling her everything that she wasn't too hear! I found phone records, text, they both have me blocked from fb and instagram, but all of our friend see the extreme flirting and they don't hide it, but she says there friend, but she is emotionally attached to him. I got the apartment, the kids, the car, I giving her $500 month, know she wants me to take the kids every weekend and for the summer! Wth! She doesn't want any responsibility, just everything else. She is 34 going on 35 in 2 month I am 40. She's working out like crazy, to much into her looks, dressing more sexy, and going out and drinking every weekend! This was not my wife!


Junior
D18, S16, S15 , S12 Gs15months
M moved out March/15 2 days later wanted divorce. OM so called friends since Nov/14.
April 22/15 they are now more than friends.
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 2,523
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 2,523
Originally Posted By: junior1
Been together 15 years married 18, have 3 boys 1 girl, that I raised since she was 4 month old she is now 18 with my grandson of 16 months old. My boys are 12,15, and 16. My D18 doesn't know that I'm not her biological father she was 17 I was 21 when we meet. I was not the greatest husband in the beginning, I was to busy working on my car and cruising, so she stayed at home. My biggest mistake was on her 30th birthday, my high school friend from school kissed me outside while I was drunk. I pushed her off, but it was to late her family and friends saw it. With them that time after that I got sick. I got diabetes had my toes amputated. I've been in and out of the hospital. Last November 13 they amputated more of my leg, and all that medication, they killed my kidneys. Now I'm starting dialysis. It's been 7 weeks that I left the apartment. First it was take time apart to start over. To the next day I want a divorce. I know she's been talking to another man. She's acting like a lil school girl in love, while he's telling her everything that she wasn't too hear! I found phone records, text, they both have me blocked from fb and instagram, but all of our friend see the extreme flirting and they don't hide it, but she says there friend, but she is emotionally attached to him. I got the apartment, the kids, the car, I giving her $500 month, know she wants me to take the kids every weekend and for the summer! Wth! She doesn't want any responsibility, just everything else. She is 34 going on 35 in 2 month I am 40. She's working out like crazy, to much into her looks, dressing more sexy, and going out and drinking every weekend! This was not my wife!


Junior ... deep breaths.

That stuff in bold up there ^^^ Stop. Its either mindreading or its out of your control. One of the first things I learned here was the fact we can only control ourselves. Seems easy enough right? But I know its not ... had I had my way I might have chained up my W till she came to her senses, well it just does not work that way. If its MLC (And its possible here) then she is already set off on her journey ... now you must embark on yours. I know physically you may have some obstacles, but most the work that needs to be done is between the ears. Let her go for now, the harder you try to hold on the more she will fight you, Trust me.

Lets take the focus off her and what she is doind .. lets put it on you right now. What kind of man would you like to look at in the mirror when things are all said and done ... not the broken one you are now I would assume. Lets start by you doing something you enjoy ... dive into it .. lets get your PMA up.

Do you have the DB or DL books? Start with the basics .. Detach, 180, PMA ... you will get through this.


M: 48
W: 47
M16 T26-S8
BD Sept13



Joined: Nov 2014
Posts: 574
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: Nov 2014
Posts: 574
Detaching yourself from your w is NOT giving up on your marriage and its NOT saying your are no longer her h. Choosing to stand for your marriage is your right and choice, but standing does not mean staying still and waiting to see what happens -

Your w is on a journey, she will be away for sometime and she will test you to your limits on every level, so to keep you sane and strong you need to place as much focus on you as you can, keeping yourself healthy - physically, mentally and emotionally.

Start to see this in different way - its a opportunity to grow as an individual, find the parts of you that you lost along the way in your m, its a chance to try something new - go back to something you used to enjoy and gave up.

Cali said it so well
Originally Posted By: CaliGuy
Lets take the focus off her and what she is doind .. lets put it on you right now. What kind of man would you like to look at in the mirror when things are all said and done ... not the broken one you are now I would assume. Lets start by you doing something you enjoy ... dive into it .. lets get your PMA up.


Its a lot to take in - your doing really well.

Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 23
J
junior1 Offline OP
New Member
OP Offline
New Member
J
Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 23
I tried to go dark, but the boys needed something so I go to see them. We start talking and she started telling me how she told the kids that she loves the other guy and she had no more feelings for me. Damn that hurt.i told her don't give up on me and waste 18 years, all she can say was how can I find us, if she stop loving me years ago, and can't see us happy. That's she's confused, the OM understand her. Trying guys to be strong, but this pain is winning! She said I was like in the movie CLICK, I was here physically, but not emotionally. So I apologized and told her how an idiot I was for taking her for granted! She just kept saying idk how to turn off the switch for my love for him, that how can I hurt him. So hugged her gave her a kiss on the cheek and told her don't stop believing in me and I love her, and I left. She text me and said "I really need you to let me be, and I need time to figure things out". So how bad did I screw this up?


Junior
D18, S16, S15 , S12 Gs15months
M moved out March/15 2 days later wanted divorce. OM so called friends since Nov/14.
April 22/15 they are now more than friends.
Joined: Nov 2014
Posts: 574
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: Nov 2014
Posts: 574
Junior I am really feeling for you, it brings flashbacks of what my h said to me before he left.

Please try and stop the begging/apologizing, (I was guilty of this and believe me it gets you nowhere) its degrading to yourself and all it does is make you come across as needy and desperate to your w ...do you think that guy is appealing to her? Nah, a strong capable guy is, one who is in control of himself, one who she can respect.

She will blame everything and everyone but herself for why she feels like she does, that is a part of being in crisis, she has no control over her emotions (just like a teenager). She is trying to lessen the guilt by passing it on to you, don't believe anything she says, really don't, tomorrow she will probably say/do the complete opposite.

junior - this is such a tough process you are going through, it will take you to places within you you never knew existed and you will find strength you never knew you had. You will get through this, the pain will lessen, its that horrible word ....time.

Stop for a moment, take a breath and then let it out slowly. Remind yourself of the importance of YOU in all of this. Do something for just you today - anything, even if it just small. Start to push focus and importance on yourself - this will help you and your boys.

Keep moving forward, you can do this -

Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 23
J
junior1 Offline OP
New Member
OP Offline
New Member
J
Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 23

Been together 15 years married 18, have 3 boys 1 girl, that I raised since she was 4 month old she is now 18 with my grandson of 16 months old. My boys are 12,15, and 16. My D18 doesn't know that I'm not her biological father she was 17 I was 21 when we meet. I was not the greatest husband in the beginning, I was to busy working on my car and cruising, so she stayed at home. My biggest mistake was on her 30th birthday, my high school friend from school kissed me outside while I was drunk. I pushed her off, but it was to late her family and friends saw it. With them that time after that I got sick. I got diabetes had my toes amputated. I've been in and out of the hospital. Last November 13 they amputated more of my leg, and all that medication, they killed my kidneys. Now I'm starting dialysis. It's been 7 weeks that I left the apartment. First it was take time apart to start over. To the next day I want a divorce. I know she's been talking to another man. She's acting like a lil school girl in love, while he's telling her everything that she wasn't too hear! I found phone records, text, they both have me blocked from fb and instagram, but all of our friend see the extreme flirting and they don't hide it, but she says there friend, but she is emotionally attached to him. I gave her the apartment, the kids, the car, I giving her $500 month, know she wants me to take the kids every weekend and for the summer! Wth! She doesn't want any responsibility, just everything else. She is 34 going on 35 in 2 month I am 40. She's working out like crazy, to much into her looks, dressing more sexy, and going out and drinking every weekend! Tried to go dark, but the boys needed something so I go to see them. We start talking and she started telling me how she told the kids that she loves the other guy and she had no more feelings for me. Damn that hurt.i told her don't give up on me and waste 18 years, all she can say was how can I find us, if she stop loving me years ago, and can't see us happy. That's she's confused, the OM understand her. Trying to be strong, but this pain is winning! She said I was like in the movie CLICK, I was here physically, but not emotionally. So I apologized and told her how an idiot I was for taking her for granted! She just kept saying idk how to turn off the switch for my love for OM, that how can I hurt him. So hugged her gave her a kiss on the cheek and told her don't stop believing in me and I love her, and I left. She text me and said "I really need you to let me be, and I need time to figure things out". So how bad did I screw this up? I don't want to lose my soul mate, I just got comfortable and took her for granted and I admit it! Don't want to lose my wife to some guy she meet online, and they have a true connection! Plz I'm desperate!


Junior
D18, S16, S15 , S12 Gs15months
M moved out March/15 2 days later wanted divorce. OM so called friends since Nov/14.
April 22/15 they are now more than friends.
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 28,295
Likes: 112
job Offline
Member
Offline
Member
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 28,295
Likes: 112
junior,
Since you are new to the forum, I'd thought I'd let you know that it is best to keep to one thread and when the reply count reaches 100 postings, then begin a new thread.

When we have more than one thread going at a time, it is difficult for the posters to keep up w/your life and progress, as well as it creates some level of difficulty for the posters to go back and re-read their postings to see just how much progress that they have made.

I believe your first posting on this thread is the same as the one you posted on your other thread.

I'm going to post your current thread link to this one to help the posters.

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2557672&page=1


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 23
J
junior1 Offline OP
New Member
OP Offline
New Member
J
Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 23
So is this a midlife crisis, or has she just gave up on me, and found her true love as she says? She said she wasn't fishing for another but ended up having feeling for him and may love him! What can I do, don't want to be desperate, but don't want to sit back and watch this horror movie still playing out and in the end I die inside more!


Junior
D18, S16, S15 , S12 Gs15months
M moved out March/15 2 days later wanted divorce. OM so called friends since Nov/14.
April 22/15 they are now more than friends.
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 7,319
W
Member
Offline
Member
W
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 7,319
Junior,

I feel for you, sweetie.

I am a reformed MLCer. This is a very, very painful journey for the LBS with a MLCer. The best thing YOU can do for yourself and W is to back the heck off.

I'd suggest that you start reading all of Cali's threads by starting with this most recent one: Get married they said...It'll be fun .

There are no magic bullets in this. There's no quick fix to this. Turn the focus back to YOU because that's the only thing you can control.

I'd start by reading all of the links Cadet posted in the beginning.

Keep coming here and POST as much as you can. We all have been where you are now...and get what you are experiencing now.

Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 23
J
junior1 Offline OP
New Member
OP Offline
New Member
J
Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 23
I'm so hurt, a friend sent me pictures of them together this past week. I'm really was not expecting that. Now I feel like my world is shutting down. I knew they were talking and he was from out of town 2 hours away, but now he had been together with her. All she can say is for me to move on. Am I stupid for not moving on and still here wanting my family! Now I'm lost and stuck in a hard place! Move on she said, easier said than done! 💔😖 I just died inside!


Junior
D18, S16, S15 , S12 Gs15months
M moved out March/15 2 days later wanted divorce. OM so called friends since Nov/14.
April 22/15 they are now more than friends.
Joined: Nov 2014
Posts: 574
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: Nov 2014
Posts: 574
Oh junior - so sorry you had to see pictures, that's just awful. I am surprised that you wrote "friend" - what sort of friend would do such a horrible thing -

junior you are going to drive yourself insane if you don't take a step back from your w and what she is doing/saying.

Yeah, move on - with yourself. Working on detaching, 180, PMA and GAL, read all of Cadets links that were sent to you at the beginning. It will give you better understanding for what is happening to your w and how to best survive this.

I don't know if your w is in MLC - its one of those things that we see the signs, they fit the script but only time will tell if this is MLC or not, until then if you choose to stand for your m then you need to start to moving forwards with YOU.

Yeah, she is "in love" she has feelings for om, he is the best thing that has ever happened yadda yadda yadda - he is a shiny new toy, she will soon get bored of him once the euphoria has worn off - my h said the same; told me ow made him feel like he has never felt before, she was it for him, he had finally found love - yep, apparently never loved me for 24yrs! - but 6 months on the cracks are appearing, the real him and her are being shown and h has admitted to my s she was a mistake and is trying to work out how to get out of the mess he has made.

If you pay attention to everything your w says and take to heart everything she does, you are going to be in for one very painful journey. Seriously, its painful and hard enough as it is, the trick is to minimise it as much as you can by detaching yourself from her -

I really do understand what you are feeling and going through, you can and will make it through this, stay strong - you are doing great.

Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 23
J
junior1 Offline OP
New Member
OP Offline
New Member
J
Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 23
Thanks, LouR. I said a friend because she's telling not to be blind. That's in front of my face, because how they say love is blind, and I didn't except it till now. Been Thinking of getting away for a couple of weeks out of town to clear my thought, before I start on my dialysis. Been trying to find Cadets posts from the beginning, but I can't find it. I would love to read them, but It [censored] that we have to share this pain.Funny, all the pain medication they give me, and won't take my pain away! Smh!


Junior
D18, S16, S15 , S12 Gs15months
M moved out March/15 2 days later wanted divorce. OM so called friends since Nov/14.
April 22/15 they are now more than friends.
Joined: Nov 2014
Posts: 574
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: Nov 2014
Posts: 574
Cadet's post is the second one in your thread - it contains links to posts that are useful to your sitch. I just checked and its still there - but if you can't find it then request it be re posted, I am sure cadet will help you out.

Check out other's threads too - you will find ones that you will identify with.

Ironic isn't it - pain is nature's way of healing - of helping us process and let go. Don't fight it, allow it to flow and take its course, I promise you it does get better (I have questioned that sentence so many times on here, and if one more person said "time" to me I was going to commit an unthinkable crime !!) I know; you are the one living it, feeling it and hurting - hang on in there -

Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 23
J
junior1 Offline OP
New Member
OP Offline
New Member
J
Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 23
Thanx. My daughter is so mad at her. She's not talking to her. She said, that love is blind so pray that God takes that blind fold of and realize that the pain she is causing and she see what down grade she is settling for. He's got 3 kids, live 2 hours away, and his wife left him, for another. I know this dont matter, but my wife is beautiful and this guy is twice my size in weight. She must be sick! Lol!


Junior
D18, S16, S15 , S12 Gs15months
M moved out March/15 2 days later wanted divorce. OM so called friends since Nov/14.
April 22/15 they are now more than friends.
Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 23
J
junior1 Offline OP
New Member
OP Offline
New Member
J
Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 23
Question!!! If you read my story and she is Unhappy for years she said, now going out with OM and tells me I'm stopping her from her happiness, because she loves him. In my story does it sound like she's in a midlife crisis or am just really stopping her from her so called true love? She doesn't feel that she is hurting the family. She says the kids understand her being unhappy, and is ok about the OM. They just don't want to hurt her feelings or talk about it, they are S12 S15 S16 D18 Gs15months, D18 is not happy with her and moved out. Wife don't care cause she is 18. So I'm losing it! I want my marriage,but what is the truth! I everyone says this, but HELP!plz everybody give your opinions!


Junior
D18, S16, S15 , S12 Gs15months
M moved out March/15 2 days later wanted divorce. OM so called friends since Nov/14.
April 22/15 they are now more than friends.
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 7,319
W
Member
Offline
Member
W
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 7,319
Junior,

We have all read your story. We know you're in pain.

You will do yourself a big favor if you start reading the links that Cadet posted in your thread on page 1. Start NOW. Some of the answers are contained in those links.

Have you ordered the Divorce Remedy book?

Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 23
J
junior1 Offline OP
New Member
OP Offline
New Member
J
Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 23
Hoping it comes in today. Just talked to her not by choice, she's mad cause I turned off her phone, why because she needs it for the kids, so I said Ok, but I blocked his#. Now she's more mad, so I told her that is her problem, for him to buy her a new phone. She said I'm always controlling her life, NO, I'm just not going to pay for everything, and while she is hurting me! So was it wrong for me to block him from there love!


Junior
D18, S16, S15 , S12 Gs15months
M moved out March/15 2 days later wanted divorce. OM so called friends since Nov/14.
April 22/15 they are now more than friends.
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 7,319
W
Member
Offline
Member
W
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 7,319
Junior,

Calmly state that you will not allow the family money to be used to finance her affair. She needs to get her own phone. I would have cut off the phone.

It's controlling to block off the #. Yep, that was a very controlling move.

Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 23
J
junior1 Offline OP
New Member
OP Offline
New Member
J
Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 23
I did turn it off, but she went off on how she needed to communicate with the kids. She said it was understanding if i blocked his#. So I turned it back on and I did block it, cause she said. Then she said it was being sarcastic. While it was off she said I am thinking the worst because their good friends. Then after awhile she tells me she loves him that I don't understand. Their friends, but he posted a picture of them together in caption "I miss you baby! I'll see you soon! So is that a friend holding each other. That was totally disrespectful to let everyone see. So ami really wrong?


Junior
D18, S16, S15 , S12 Gs15months
M moved out March/15 2 days later wanted divorce. OM so called friends since Nov/14.
April 22/15 they are now more than friends.
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 2,523
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 2,523
junior

Ok ... Here is the thing. All you can control at this point is YOURSELF. For the sake of argument lets just say your wife is going through a MLC ... the last part of that is crisis. What does someone do in a crisis .. they panic, make poor decisions, they struggle ... THEY do these things and just like someone drowning if you stay to close they claw at you and you will drown too, I was there ... exactly where you are ... it stinks for sure, but you can and will survive and if you calm down and listen to the vets on this board, you might actually become stronger and better from all this.

As much as it hurts, you need to listen to your W when she says let me be. And I am saying let her be as in go dark STOP PURSUING (you will just appear needy and weak ... even if thats true its not attractive so hide that part of you right now) .. hard and fast, pull the rug out .... if its something to do with the kids and its an emergency then yes respond quickly, if its just a general issue with the kids, take 30-45 minutes ... if its something else .. let it sit for 2 hours.

Somewhere along the way you said you took her for granted ... well .. guess what .. she did the same, she lost respect for you and I know this hurts but her A is the shiny new toy, she things she loves so much .. she has to be allowed to realize that toy is not as shiny, the new life is not as bright, and her happiness is not as deep as she is dreaming it up to be ... but here is the thing .. its going to take a lot of time for her to sort through this ... YOU must get away and detach, start rebuilding yourself to become a better person while she crashes her new toy.

This will be hard.. very hard ... but you will be better after all is said and done if you chose to ... or you can allow this to destroy not only your M ... but your family and yourself.


M: 48
W: 47
M16 T26-S8
BD Sept13



Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 2,523
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 2,523
Originally Posted By: junior1
Hoping it comes in today. Just talked to her not by choice, she's mad cause I turned off her phone, why because she needs it for the kids, so I said Ok, but I blocked his#. Now she's more mad, so I told her that is her problem, for him to buy her a new phone. She said I'm always controlling her life, NO, I'm just not going to pay for everything, and while she is hurting me! So was it wrong for me to block him from there love!


Ok ... do not be the roadblock between her and OM ... not saying to make it easy ... but you do not want to become the focal point and the enemy.

One of the turning points in my sitch was when I calmly told my W "Your A is disrespectful to me, our M, our Family along with yours and I will not be a part of it, nor enable it."

Leave it at that and say no more .. its a boundary .. read up as much as you can ... you can take away from others sitches and try what they have done .. see what works for you, toss out what doesn't.


M: 48
W: 47
M16 T26-S8
BD Sept13



Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 23
J
junior1 Offline OP
New Member
OP Offline
New Member
J
Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 23
So today I did the 180 instead of answering the phone right away I waited 40min till she text me. She said if I had time to talk, I said in a bit I'll call you. So I waited about an hour to call her back. She wanted to know if I was Ok on what I saw about the picture, I really didn't want to talk about it, but I suck it up and I said Ok. She I said i sound sad, I said no I was doing so work around the house. Instead of talking over her and defending my sell I listen to everything she said. She said it's just until that kids grow up. I said no, that she will always be in my life. For Kids weddings and Grand children, she didn't think of that. Then I told her I hope she does find happiness. Then she talked about the bills on how she would not have enough money. Normally I would say I'll take care of it, she never handled the bills. So I gave her a list on everything. Then she started to explain how something will be turned off, I said I understand and that she knows what's best for her. Then if she could borrow the money and she would pay me back, I said I couldn't because I got a plane ticket to go out of town to Washington State(to go dark for a week or so). I stayed telling her how strong she was and she can do it, then I asked her about her job. She told she's a bus driver/daycare attendant normally she is an office manager. That she took any job. So I made her laugh about how she's used to driving the small bus by driving me around she laughed and how I would be the first kid to get in trouble to sit with beautiful teacher and would have a crush on her. (She laughed!) So I ended the conversation there. I hope it made her think, but we did not argue for the first time! I got the Divorce Remedy yesterday and I started to read. It open my eyes to allot of things I we did wrong and where I need to change. I more excited to keep reading, hope I can still save my marriage!


Junior
D18, S16, S15 , S12 Gs15months
M moved out March/15 2 days later wanted divorce. OM so called friends since Nov/14.
April 22/15 they are now more than friends.
Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 23
J
junior1 Offline OP
New Member
OP Offline
New Member
J
Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 23
Today was not that great. She needed money for gas for a new job. I have her some $. So I had to pick up the kids on day early to take them to the doctor, because she couldn't. They were telling me about this new guy that they don't approve of him, but their mom is happy, and he got money. Trying to buy my kids. Suppose he gave her $700 for bills, but I took care of all the bills the last month. Now he is giving her a engagement ring! WTH! She is all happy! So I'm just sitting back, waiting to see what happens. Feel like I'm fixing to fly out this roller coaster! What now!


Junior
D18, S16, S15 , S12 Gs15months
M moved out March/15 2 days later wanted divorce. OM so called friends since Nov/14.
April 22/15 they are now more than friends.
Joined: Nov 2014
Posts: 574
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: Nov 2014
Posts: 574
Junior - breath.

Its sometimes a little hard to follow you - it would be handy if you could write in paragraphs, that way its easier to read.

Things are going fast for your w and that is the way she likes it, it keeps her on her high. If the pace slows then she knows she will feel the low and that is not what she wants. Life does not work at top speed for long, it can't maintain that level, so it will start to slow and she will begin to look for the next high - there is a lot more crazy to be had yet junior, so settle in for a long and bumpy ride.

This is where looking after yourself comes in, just let your w go spin in a corner and start to place focus on you and your kids. The important people in this ....you and your kids.

Keep reading, keep learning. You are going to be fine, just step back and breath.

Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 23
J
junior1 Offline OP
New Member
OP Offline
New Member
J
Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 23
Thanks LouR, everything is just moving to fast for me.

Just trying to hold on in this roller coaster with no seat belt.

Normally she is a person that likes to plan and make sure everything goes to plan. Lately she just been doing everything with out thinking. This is so not her.
But she said she so Happy!
My happiness is gone now, I miss her so much!


Junior
D18, S16, S15 , S12 Gs15months
M moved out March/15 2 days later wanted divorce. OM so called friends since Nov/14.
April 22/15 they are now more than friends.
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 28,295
Likes: 112
job Offline
Member
Offline
Member
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 28,295
Likes: 112
junior,
Lou has given you excellent advice. Your wife is going to have highs and lows and she's going to be looking for things that will give her those highs so that she doesn't have to focus on her issues and work on herself. Strap yourself in because this is going to be a really bumpy ride.

You have already begun to notice that she's flying by the seat of her pants when it comes to decision making. This is very, very normal for her right now. She's in an emotional crisis and people who are highly emotional will not make good decisions and you can't reason w/them. Also, MLCers become the mirror image of themselves, i.e., the exact opposite of what she was pre-crisis. It's normal.

junior this crisis didn't just happen because it's been building up for quite some time and it will not end any time soon. So, whiles she's flying high on the euphoric cloud, you will need to find ways to take care of yourself. You will eventually find your balance and your happiness will return. However, you will need to dig deeper than you ever have for patience because you will need a lot of this in order to deal w/her.

For now, take care of yourself, i.e., eat, drink plenty of fluids and get your rest. I know, it's difficult when dealing with a crisis person...but you need your strength and you will need to try to keep the focus on you and your children. The woman you knew and loved is gone and won't be back any time soon.

Bottom line...you are the prize and you need to stay strong, not only for yourself, but your children.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 23
J
junior1 Offline OP
New Member
OP Offline
New Member
J
Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 23
I'm holding on, Lord knows I'm holding on.
This is the hardest test that God's has given me. I feel that I'm failing.


She knows how to push my buttons and gets me hot, but I slow down collect myself.

Then she says something outrages, I'm not cheating I'm at peace with God, and I can sleep at night. Our marriage is Just a piece of paper! Wow!
How to respond, no word Just hang up and go pray and cry in the room. It's all I can do.


Junior
D18, S16, S15 , S12 Gs15months
M moved out March/15 2 days later wanted divorce. OM so called friends since Nov/14.
April 22/15 they are now more than friends.
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,249
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,249
Junior- you are learning quickly. Just know there is no short-cut. So even if you think you see signs of your old wife, changes are, if it is in the near future, it won't last long. I'm not saying that to be disheartening, I'm just keeping it real.

Now, that doesn't mean I wish it that way for you at all.... just hang tight, buddy. I get how you feel. Just release some breath, because I'll be awhile. You have been given excellent advice, and I see you are heeding it. That's good.

She will try to push you buttons. Don't let it get you. Harder said then done. However, once you start to get your power... you will like it. Don't let her see it bother you. I mean it. Things in the short-term, you may question. However, when you look back, you will be glad you didn't bit what she was trying to feed you.

Hang in there. It's a though ride. But you will learn things you didn't even know existed and be grateful... in some weird way.

Joined: Nov 2014
Posts: 574
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: Nov 2014
Posts: 574
Words words words - that is all they are, don't take them as real and truth, your w is lashing out and you are the closest person to her.

Think of her as a teenager, all the emotions they go through at that time; one minute they are down, spewing at you that you are the worst parent in the world, they hate you and wish you were dead - and the next minute they are cuddled up with you laughing and so happy you are their parent. Its a highly confusing (and sometimes volatile) time for both teen and parent - but you ride it out as best you can, hoping they eventually come out of it and back to you as the wonderful child (w) you used to know.

Originally Posted By: junior1
Normally she is a person that likes to plan and make sure everything goes to plan. Lately she just been doing everything with out thinking. This is so not her.


This is so not her ......remember that.

She will do the opposite, say the opposite and be with the opposite person to you, because what she has isn't working, so why replace it with the same? Think about it, it makes sense.

You will be really fed up of hearing this by the time your done junior - but you really need to start to detach from the situation. You are taking everything personally (we all do it, its a normal reaction), what she says and is doing is coming from a place of pain and confusion within her, you cannot fix this, you cannot make her better, she has to work this out on her own - its heartbreaking and it hurts, but you need and have to let her go. The more you react and push the worse she will be.

Lets get this back on you - focus on you. What sort of things do you like to do? Do have have a good network of friends and family? Give us an insight to who junior is.

Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,249
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,249
ok... maybe I shouldn't type w/ my iphone.... that's terrible! Sorry for the auto correct... or auto incorrect!

Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 23
J
junior1 Offline OP
New Member
OP Offline
New Member
J
Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 23
So today I'm more lost than ever!  She took her self of the bank account, wants the phone put in just her name so she can pay a separate bill, and told me to go sign a paper on the leasing office to take myself of the apartment! 
Is this normal or am I the one that's in La La Land! 
I told her this is hard that I'm the one giving it 100% but she gave up along time ago. She said that she been telling me she was done but I never wanted to talk. So she gave up. 
I'm so confused and more hurt then ever, wth! Am I losing it, do I listen or don't believe what she said??!!!!!!!!!!


Junior
D18, S16, S15 , S12 Gs15months
M moved out March/15 2 days later wanted divorce. OM so called friends since Nov/14.
April 22/15 they are now more than friends.
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 2,523
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 2,523
Junior

Is it normal? Well ... around here I doubt anyone even flinched... so yeah .. welcome to MLC.

My W did not take herself off the account, she just emptied it, total cash withdrawal so she could use that money for her new place that she leased without me knowing about it, then moved out later that month.

Here is the deal, what I learned in my experience with my MLCr: In her mind she was done, there was no words I could have said, and nothing I could have done at that moment .. this is why its called a crisis, all I could do and what I did ... I looked at myself and started making some changes, I had to or I would have ended up in a very cold and dark place and for my sons sake I knew I could not do that.

You can no longer control what your W does any more than you can control if its raining or sunny outside. All you can do at this point is follow the DB tips and tricks, start making changes in yourself, NOT to win her back, but because there are things you need to fix. Do not pursue nor look needy ... I get the vibe that you are a little bit here. Get out... GAL ... take a break from her for a bit and get yourself right. This is a LONG process and if you dont watch it ... it will wreck you.


M: 48
W: 47
M16 T26-S8
BD Sept13



Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 28,295
Likes: 112
job Offline
Member
Offline
Member
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 28,295
Likes: 112
Junior,
What your wife is doing right now is very, very typical of someone in crisis. In her mind, she has been done for quite a while and what she is doing is showing you and the world that she's moving on and wants to be independent and separate from you and the marriage. So, yes, she's done for now. No one knows what the future holds, but you have to let her go to figure things out for herself.

Please do not try to reason w/her because she's emotionally irrational right now. The more you try to reason and/or convince her that what she's doing isn't right, the more determined she will be to continue down the path of MLC.

Let her go for now. Keep the focus on you and your children and what your accounts! If she wants things in her name, by golly, she will be paying those bills herself.

CaliGuy has given you excellent advice. Go back and re-read his postings. Also, take some time to educate yourself on MLC and depression. There is a lot of useful and valuable information on this forum that will help you better understand what your wife is going through. You have to learn not to take thus stuff personally because it's really all about her.

You didn't break her, therefore you can fix her. But most importantly, you can only control what you do and how you react to what is going on w/her. Again, let her go, continue moving forward. If you dwell on her and what's she's doing, it will drive you nuts.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 23
J
junior1 Offline OP
New Member
OP Offline
New Member
J
Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 23
Today I get a call from my sis n law, she needed to borrow money. So I did lend her some, it was for my nieces. She asked me how I was doing, I said I'm good. Just keeping myself busy and taking care of my health. She opened up and started telling me about by W. That she is completely losing it, acting like a child, and a teenager, getting upset when people tell her things, and the way she's acting is not her. That my boys are upset that they understand if she was unhappy with the marriage, fine that we separate, but not go and be with another man right away and she's not taking care of them like a mom.
She to busy getting attention and so much into her looks that is getting scary. She's starting to shun people out, and her drinking had gotten worse. 
Her family is starting to see things, and what can they do? I know all I can do is stand back and take care of my kids. I don't know what to tell my sis n law. Now I'm the one listening.


Junior
D18, S16, S15 , S12 Gs15months
M moved out March/15 2 days later wanted divorce. OM so called friends since Nov/14.
April 22/15 they are now more than friends.
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 2,523
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 2,523
junior

All that ^^^^ yup my W was the same (minus the drinking ... however that too is not all that uncommon). As far as the family goes, that's a tough spot, I said my peace but I never gave them any information, I would suggest you do the same because it will only come back to bite you if your W thinks you are talking to them about her .... this will be viewed as "You are turning my family against me" .... if you already have not received "You are turning my children against me"

What GAL's are you doing? Again .. this time is to rebuild you .. let your W spin for a bit.


M: 48
W: 47
M16 T26-S8
BD Sept13



Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 23
J
junior1 Offline OP
New Member
OP Offline
New Member
J
Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 23
I've been looking to find the different types mlc' s. Someone told me that mime might be a High Energy Ml'er. Just trying to figure out the difference between them. Thanx guys!


Junior
D18, S16, S15 , S12 Gs15months
M moved out March/15 2 days later wanted divorce. OM so called friends since Nov/14.
April 22/15 they are now more than friends.
Page 1 of 5 1 2 3 4 5

Moderated by  Cadet, DnJ, job, Michele Weiner-Davis 

Link Copied to Clipboard