Thanks for dropping by Edz. Well, a successful mission to collect Puss. I've emptied the car, she has had a wander round, some food and a brush, and is now reclined looking very much at home. I wish I had asked my landlord if I could bring her months ago now.
Had a tiny snoop at the marital home. Not difficult as H had left his emails up on screen! Seems he is emailing a woman in the US now - a friend of his sister's. It was a bit of a weird email actually - Philosophical stuff in there and with comments about how interesting her facial expressions are. Sounded like they had had a meaningful convo whilst he gazed at her face. Doesn't sound like an R as such, and I'm not too upset about any of that. But I do realise that he is still in a wayward mindset, which is good to know. And I guess I don't feel like engineering a meeting knowing that. I am going to think about the financial side of things though, and Jim's suggestion in particular.
One funny thing though. Last time I went his desk was full of papers. This time, he had completely cleared it apart from a couple of items. One was a list of his friends we made together (shortly before BD when he said he had no friends and was feeling lonely). We put each of their names in a little cloud, and I suggested he might keep in touch more with people who love him - Mrs Fixit in full flow I know. He had kept that...
Off to the pet store now. Have a good evening all xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Excellent news on mog cat Toots, you two have a great evening
M:44, W:46, S:10 M 13 years, T 15 BD:23/7/2014 W/S Moved to MIL: 23/7/2014 My new place: 21/11/2014 W/S back to flat 22/11/2014 W coming closer, talking 4/2015 Piecing 5/2015 Moving in again 6/2015
Very interesting facts. Like you said, the email doesn't seem like a R, so H is just lost, looking for a way out of his own mess.
He needs more time, and unfortunately it means more time for you on a waiting. On the positive side, it is also a sign that things are not working or didn't work at all with OW he had before.
He may still be feeling lonely, lost and trying to have reasons or he is in MLC, what will take some time to get back into his senses again.
Oh well, at least you have your fluffy cat now and he seems like a very gentle one.
Hi Toots, I'm glad you liked my suggestion though if it goes badly in going to quickly deny all knowledge :p
Either way I'll be fascinated to know his response and irrespective I think it will help you keep moving forward.
Change tack slightly, why did you say ur shows he us still in wayward mindset? Weird and philosophical doesn't immediately make me think wayward so just curious what it was that made you think that.
I hope your cat settled in nice and quickly and you enjoy the added company.
Both mid 30s, 2 young kids BD 7sep14 XW moved on long ago, now living with OM1 D paperwork in progress
Pink, OW is somewhere in the mix still (I think.) On H's desk there was a to do list from before his US trip a few weeks ago. On it there was - buy card for OW, and post letter to Toots. I get to share a space on 'to do' lists with OW/XOW now - ugh..
Jim, I said wayward because although I found the email a bit weird and philosophical, it was also flirty and clearly interested in her, and written by him late at night. I think he's still very much in pursuit of attention from other women.
Well, puss had a good first night and seems pleased to be here. She sleeps a lot, and is very slow now, but nice, gentle company. I'm volunteering this morning at the bookstore and have some work to do this pm. Have a good day all! x
Last edited by Toots; 04/28/1506:23 AM.
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
I agree with Jim, more like sad and lonely, anything that boost his ego will call his attention. The hard reality for him is that it is not hard to find someone to flirt and have a few good moments, but commitment to a real life with the heavy demand of so many obligations, that's a different story.
He is vulnerable now, show his good side to please company and in a way of doing that may feel pretty empty. These long distances flirt or R just show he does not want to commit to anything, instead he is in pain and looking for himself.
Since the beginning you picture him as a person that does not face the challenges head on, so it will probably take him some good time to organize his thoughts and find his life line.
Toots is doing what she must do to survive all this turmoil. She is taking good care after herself and growing a lot as a human being, as a woman, a lover, a wife. You are an amazing person and with all what you have been learning and understanding, you H or any man in your life will find a strong R with passion and love to share.
We all love you Toots, and we wish you the best always, with your H or without him. I hope he wake up soon and see what a marvelous Toots you have become.
Thanks Jim and Pink. Yes, I can see your point. It may be more sadness and loneliness - who knows? I realised who she is today - I have met her. She works with H's sister and is an unlikely candidate for him. Similar age (not miles younger like OW1) and quite plain looking/academic. I can't imagine she would entertain a flirtation from him, particularly as she will be aware of the circumstances. Her reply was a one liner I seem to recall...
Well, I haven't heard back from H - radio silence. I've had an okay day externally - volunteering and work this pm. But internally I have felt pretty low and hopeless about our sitch. Probably just a reaction to the MH visit and reading that email, plus waiting to hear back on finances. I'm sure I'll perk up in a day or so.
Thanks for stopping by - I so appreciate your feedback, kind words and encouragement xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Our sitch happen same time last year and I am feeling a little low regarding my sitch as well. I think it moves like waves. It is also because it hits some time of no contact, no news, no nothing and that is agony.
Like Edz said, it's only time will tell what is coming next, but the itch of waiting is troubling for all of us. At least you are not alone, sometimes I cry because I miss my H. We have many times of talking, making plans, sharing life and now we are so apart from each other. It hurts.
But we can't control anything about them, we just need to take one day at a time and do our best to feel and look good.
Hang in there, tomorrow will be another day, another opportunity.
