Focused on Me and My Son 2

[Sherman333]

I too have learned to STFU. It has served me well.

I know and forgot.

I'm hoping it speeds up her departure. Its been damned difficult to take all the crap.

Still its kinda funny that after all this she still thinks I'd want to reconcile?

[Vanilla]

Sherman

I have MP3 of my H and I even emailed them to him on a couple of occasions when he claimed a different reality.

Made little difference to H. He rationalised it.

Has stood me in good stead when H told the local officer there was no abuse. They clearly did not agree.

However in your case I would not prod an angry bear!

Actually I think your WW is just temp checking.

V

[Sherman333]

However in your case I would not prod an angry bear!

Very true...

So last night was her night with S7. I got home around 8:20 p.m. On her nights I'm away so she has to play Mom. S7 said he played video games all night. Mom read a book (wow... she never reads) and only texted once.

I had my lawyer ping her lawyer on getting a custody agreement in place. She didn't appreciate that as it cost her money. But reiterated that she's going to get her version of the entire agreement to her lawyer on Monday for review. So it looks like that's still her primary plan. I'm happy as it will address custody issues.

This morning had a couple of fun little interactions. I was working out with headphones on.

First interaction she was focused on what our S7 needed for snacks and breakfast. She wanted to confirm what he needed for today and should already know. She hasn't done this in over a week and had left it for me on the last several days. Just odd behavior. I went back to working out after giving her confirmation of her question.

2nd interaction, She asked me what I told the daycare where he's been at this week for spring break. I said nothing. She was a bit feisty and said they're looking at me funny. My response is "I have no clue. Maybe they saw I'm not wearing my ring?". I put my earphone in and went back to working out. She said some more stuff but I didn't hear the words.

3rd interaction... feistier yet. I haven't been buying the type of groceries she likes. She expected that I would keep catering to her as we go into the D process she wanted. Well, she bought eggs a day or so ago and has been eating them for breakfast and dinner (there's other food, but she'd have to cook it and can't bring herself to the task). She got my attention to tell me not to eat "her" eggs even though she's eaten other food I'd purchased (funny). That if I've "had enough money to take S7 to the water park, then I have enough "f-ing" money to buy my own G.. Damn eggs." My response... "I'm not going to eat your eggs". I put my headphone back in and returned to my workout and ignored her.

She was a lot louder, but with the music playing I have no idea what she said. It was background noise.

Once S7 was awake, it was all fake niceness.

She also said she wants to take one of the gaming systems for her new place. I texted her this morning and let her know that most of the content on it is tied to me and won't work. She then asked me to look and see how much it will cost and if I'd be willing to share the cost for a new system in her apt. My response... "Not sure. You'll have to look." and left it at that.

I'm surprised she even asked. It's her new place and she needs to get that on her own.

[Sherman333]

Funny... she sent me a text a little bit ago.

"Why can't you look for the game system price? You're the one who doesn't want to loose online stuff, Mr. Moneybags who has money to go to the waterpark but no money for groceries or anything else."

[Starsky309]

Ignore it. As we used to say around here, "Don't jump into the pit with her."

Not worth it.

[Sherman333]

That's exactly what I did.

I find it interesting that she keeps bringing up the waterpark. But that's as much thought as I've put into it.

[Vanilla]

Sounds like jealousy to me!

V

[Sherman333]

Just a quick update on things...

• On the evening of 4/10/2015, STBXW informed me she had to work late and wanted me to get S7. I ended up having him for her entire weekend. She also stated that he wants to spend time with me over her anyway.
• On 4/11/2015, STBXW was at the house, but was packing stuff up in preparation to move out. She informed me that OM had provided her with couches and a TV; that he's decided to purchase new items She also told me that he loaned her an unspecified sum of money. Oh yes men so do these types of things for platonic relationships you know… She also reiterated that she's going to be taking more items from the home since I ruined her plans with OM... this includes the entertainment/TV stand, end tables, lamps, etc.
• 4/12/2015, STBXW continued to pack up household items, which included the Xbox 360. Our son was very upset about this. He had an absolute meltdown over his favorite game, he'd taken it from the box she'd packed it in and was hugging it to his chest and telling her “no”. STBXW got quite upset with him and started to force it from his hands and told him that he's not going to like the consequences if he keeps up fighting her. I told her to knock it off and she's not to be threatening anyone. He shot upstairs and hid the game from her. I went up and coaxed him into a compromise... I had him pick which games he'd be willing to have a Mom's house and the others he could take back-and-forth with him when he goes to visit. She continued to argue that she should take all the games... that they're not usable without the Xbox360... I told her to let it be and it will sort itself out. Later that night, STBXW came upstairs to report on her "progress"(?), our Son got off the bed and climbed underneath it as soon as she came into the room. After she left, he came back out and was crying. I had to reassure him that everything will be OK. A little later, she came back up to wish him good night. He was cuddled into the crook of my arm with his head on my shoulder… she had to ask a couple of times to get him to kiss her.

She’s in effect divorcing S7 too… especially since she’s been dropping the rope on him and now messaging that she’ll only see him every 2 weeks.

This morning I had a question for her, she walks out of her room in just her underwear (black lace this time) and carries on a whole conversation with me… I just kept doing what I was doing without reacting, which included walking away/talking over my shoulder... she's used to getting reactions and I gave her none.

Stuff we did for S7 & I…
For the weekend, I took S7 to McDonald's on Friday to let him play at the playland.

I'm planning on getting into cycling as one of my long term 180s for me... so on Saturday, we hit 5 bike shops. I wanted to check different brands of bikes. S7 was trooper, but he did get to ride a lot of different bikes too. He pestered me most of the day about a $700 yellow trike. LOL

I have a friend who has been doing it for several years and she suggested a hybrid (based on how I might use it) that has disc brakes, and a front suspension. I found one and am planning on getting it today. I've already picked up cycling shorts that have padding in the bottom (feels a little like a diaper, but on the rides I've been on you're so much more comfortable).

On Sunday, we visited with FS8 at his church again. My S7 actually said it was fun this time and wants to go back. The foster agency has recommended that the new Foster mom keep interactions with us to a minimum until FS8 has transitioned a little more… made me a little more sad for the situation. I did get the STBXW to back off on refusing to let us go to church as this is the only way S7 will get to see FS8 at the moment. I also had to go buy dishes and new pots/pans as the STBXW was packing everything. She's planning on moving this coming weekend and those were items she's taking. The dishes were presents over several years and in a pattern she always wanted. The pots/pans she came into the marriage with (but I got better ones now :D).

So she's also going to leave the couch and dining table. But taking the master bedroom furniture, end-tables, lamps, and a few other items. So I need new bedroom furniture. Ugh.

One interesting conversation I had with her is on my future plans... I told her I would go back to what I was doing when we met... dating several women to see who I like best, she frowned slightly with this. She also offered to come help declutter. That it bothers her how cluttered everything is. I told her I don't need her help and will take care of it. Her response was that there will be things I need another person's help with. I asked her why she thinks I won't have help if I need it?

Another item that happened was with the neighbors... it's become evident even to her that the neighbor has embellished the story. The one neighbor that had somewhat taken her side in this messaged her that she didn't want to be involved at this time... which pissed off the STBXW. So the STBX, read me a rather long text she'd sent back both taking the neighbors to task and defending me along with it. I was mildly surprised to say the least.

[Closer2]

STBXWs hate waterparks. Thought everyone knew that.

You're incredibly patient with her. You're inspiring me to be more patient.

It sounds like you're doing your best to keep your son out of the crossfire. If only STBXW's would do the same.

[Sherman333]

You're incredibly patient with her. You're inspiring me to be more patient.

I'm generally a patient person by nature. It actually makes me good at what I do generally. And I associate a certain level of leadership with the trait too... trying to think through things rather than pure emotion (generally in my life), but in this I've still messed up a lot... hard not to do.

It sounds like you're doing your best to keep your son out of the crossfire.

When it got to be too much, he and I have left and not come home. In some cases for the whole weekend and at the least for the day.

I really want to have the divorce agreement signed where I get physical custody, so am not doing anything to rock the boat too much, but am letting her know where boundaries are as well.

Our interactions have improved tremendously since all this started. I don't get very many abusive attacks anymore. Just occasional bad behavior. So I'm not sure how much respect I've built back up with her yet or not.

I can say, that overall, she's been treating me better recently than she has in years.

And thank you for the complement. It's appreciated. Best of luck to you and if I get time I'll read your thread Closer2.