Bea, I'm so happy to hear that he's dropping the legal action. Guess meeting up w/you did the trick...hold that thought...don't delete the message. You may need to refer back to it at a later time...you just never know how the MLCer will be from one hour to the next.
Again, I'm very happy to hear this news and if he's visiting an old friend...maybe, just maybe he's starting to see the light. One can only hope.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
It sounds encouraging. Wouldn't want to put all of my eggs in that crazy basket. Yeah, I'm somewhat cautiously optimistic by XH's action. I'd give this 6 months before I really can breathe again.
I hope a month of silence did the trick, he was really thinking hard about things and he realized how pathetic he was with his “legal action”. I hope he follows through and really drops it.
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
Thank you all for your advice and good wishes - oh yes, I am keeping thw message, and remaining on my guard. I also wondered if his lawyers finally got through to him about how weak his case is - but I guess if even this is the case it means he is listening to reason, at least right now.
Fwiw I think he is still cycling. But he did ask after my dil who is having a few days break with me. Never having had daughters i am really enjoying this.
NLW - this control-by-money is very much a MLC thing for my xh. He used to be generous and liberal. Has spent like crazy on himself - and bought OW1 a very expensive piano among other things, but tried to restrict what I did.
Since it is a type of bullying I stood up for myself, but I can't say it was easy with the threats and all!
I realize that my stopping the legal process does not in itself remove our financial conflict from the list of "unfinished business".
A brief explanation of my decision:
First of all, I would have found it awful for there to be a resolution that was financially ruinous to you, which was a very likely result if the legal process had continued to its conclusion. (I would have found my losing outright far less awful.)
On top of that: as I've thought for ten years now, it is bad for us (and for others) for us to be sorting out our conflicts by turning them over to lawyers and courts. (Is this in line with your view that a "mediated divorce" (and financial settlement?) would have been far better?)
Words simply fail me. My lawyer (two actually) + my accountant simply felt he had no case at all.
I realize that my stopping the legal process does not in itself remove our financial conflict from the list of "unfinished business".
A brief explanation of my decision:
First of all, I would have found it awful for there to be a resolution that was financially ruinous to you, which was a very likely result if the legal process had continued to its conclusion. (I would have found my losing outright far less awful.)
On top of that: as I've thought for ten years now, it is bad for us (and for others) for us to be sorting out our conflicts by turning them over to lawyers and courts. (Is this in line with your view that a "mediated divorce" (and financial settlement?) would have been far better?)
Words simply fail me. My lawyer (two actually) + my accountant simply felt he had no case at all.
