I really am and will be ok. I know I may have to choose to either live in a house that's for sale or to rent for a year; and if that's the case then I will live in a house for sale and pay my sitter to help with more of the chores. I will be creative about solving this problem as well as the ones that came before and the ones that will come after, because getting through this part of my life doesn't mean the rest of it will be clear sailing.
I am so tired, I fell asleep on the couch and it got dark while I napped. Being that tired makes things harder. And I still haven't kicked this eye allergy so maybe the tears were good for it. Have I mentioned I'm super tired? I haven't been sleeping well for a number of reasons, including anxiety about housing.
STBX is a fool.
I was reading about narcissistic mothers and it occurred to me that the woman I saw today and the former ow both look quite a lot like him. That made me chuckle. I don't look like him at all. And there's no small measure of narcissistic behavior in him, just like my parents.
Debbie Ford says I'm being directed to experiences that will help me self-actualize. So maybe I'm learning to expect more authenticity from others and to fear it less in myself. Maybe I'll have this brilliant second act that will put everything in perspective for me.
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
I swear reading your posts over the past couple days sure seems like you flipped a switch... For the way better. You're focusing on solutions and that's a very positive course of action. As my dear old XH used to say, "if you're not part of the solution, you're part,of the problem."
Umm, I think you're proceeding very well with Debbie. I only wish she were still alive to share more of her wisdom. Keep going. You're on the right path.
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
I married a lousy liar. I'm paying for that a lot more than he is. How can I be a good enough person hat I never have to live through something like this ever again???
Many of us get caught up in this at some point. Uncovering the lie that if we can be "good" bad things won't happen. Bad things happen to everyone. Life is a series of events, some good, some bad, some mundane. There is no giant score board in the sky, no 3 strikes, you deserve a bad thing or 3 stars and you get a treat.
Our job is to learn how to handle all the things that come our way and be OK. As I think you or Betsey said, we learn to self-actualize.
It's all about letting-go and being OK with the present moment.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
