Keep going, Bright! I love it! You sound like you are doing so well. As far as h.... maybe not as well. Sure is confusing to see these guys behave in ways they never have, huh? Well... they are interesting creatures, I guess. I could do without interesting, but never-the-less they are something....
Thanks, job. I think you are spot on with the first two reasons. I know that he doesn’t have much money left, I can see his account (since we still have joint accounts hooked all together) and I know how much is in company account. I think just a thought of 15th of the month when he usually sends me the money for condo mortgage should be making him sick. I feel sorry for him, but it is not my problem, it is what he wanted.
If he would be just busy, he would not forget to pay the bills, etc. He was pretty much on top of things (with few exceptions) until now. Maybe he is deeply in love with a woman of his dreams, and completely lost his head, LOL.
The auto insurance will not be terminated. I have money to pay the entire bill. He can either pay me later, or cancel it and the money will be refunded. I’m going to give him this chance to figure things out. My guess is that he wants to drop the coverage for a few months, when both his car and truck are in Mexico. Will see if I’m right.
I think he has hit a rough spot on his journey. It feels like he is spinning in different directions. His life is probably not exactly the way he imagined. Money is probably the biggest issue. I’ve checked the CC that he was late paying. There are late fees and interest charges, as expected. But, there is also a new transaction for airline ticket. Looks like he is flying to the state where he works during the summer. He will be there for two weeks. I think he received a call about some work, and he is taking it. The ticket is very expensive (more than $600). He would not pay this kind of money before. And the weather in that state is still cold, below freezing at nights and in 40th during the day. He hates cold. Plus, he is going to miss a couple of events that he loves and attends every year (at the vacation home and here.) I guess he is desperate to get some work and make money.
Now, back to me. I’m going to the party on the boat tomorrow. I should be a lot of fun. And yes, the yard needs some major work. Not sure if I get to it this weekend thought, except for moving the grass. It needs to be done.
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
Hey Mighty, didn’t see your post until now. We posted almost at the same time. Thanks for stopping by.
I had a great time yesterday at harbor cruise party. Today I mowed the grass and did some yard work. I even figured out how to replace the wire string in the trimmer. Normally my son would do it, but he’s been busy, and I needed to trim the grass that was way too much overgrown. My neighbor happened to be outside and helped me to adjust the trimmer. Yay! The yard now looks great.
Still no word from H regarding the auto insurance. I’m getting curious…
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
Sounds like your life is moving forward and there is some peace and happiness. Enjoy this time!
H: 48 Me: 47 Married: 19 yrs T: 20 yrs 2 teen-Ds and S H-MLC (started 2012) and H-Unemployed (11/2014) D-Bomb: 2/2015 H left country but hasn't moved out: 7/2015 I filed: 7/2015
Short update. Actually, it is just for me. It seems like my sitch is so boring…
Anyway, went to after work gathering with beer brew team. Learnt some things about the process. Was not too exciting. Maybe it will be better next time.
H sent a text today, asking to send him updated company file and letting me know that he is in his "work place" state for a couple of weeks and will need to do some invoices. He also asked me when the car insurance is due and if he can have some more time to get some info on “alternative options”. Ha! Good luck with that, buddy… He will not be able to find cheaper insurance for the same coverage he has now. I have a very hefty professional discount for my education on the current policy. But, in any case, I don’t really care if he gets a separate insurance. Less disturbance for me... It feels like he’s been in more contact recently, for one thing or another (consistently polite, and addressing me by name.) So, one less thing to contact me about. Is it what I want? Have to sit on this one…
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
Hi Bright - boring is good when it comes to MLC - an 'interesting' ride is not fun.
Yes, let your husband find his own car insurance Ha!!
They seem sure that every aspect of life is going to be better including a better deal on car insurance. Nothing we did could have been better.
I think we want and do not want contact - especially if they are not spewers. After all they were part of our lives for a long time, and from our perspective nothing changed - they did.
I agree w/Bea, i.e., boring is good when it comes to the mlcer. A wild and drama filled ride isn't what it's cracked up to be.
I wouldn't be concerned too much about him seeking out better deals on the insurance. You know what you have and I'm sure you'll move forward w/your policy on your own. He's going to find out that it's not cheap out there on his own.
Oh, well...life sure isn't what he thought it would be.
Continue moving forward...you are doing great!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Thanks Bea and Job. Yes, I guess the boring is better than wild and drama. And the car insurance for him is just an expense. I don’t think he is looking for a new one because it is better than to have it with me on the same policy. He is just desperately trying to save the money.
I think he already discovered that “it's not cheap out there on his own”. We were always a team and supported each other in difficult times. I think I’m still kind of an “insurance policy” for him. The condo mortgage is still on both names, so I think he thinks he can count on me in case he cannot pay it. I’ve been nice about things like that so far. And don’t plan to change it, unless it affects my financial stability. I will let the universe to take care of whatever deeds he has to pay for his choices...
Oh, and I guess I jinxed it, LOL. He texted me today telling me that he will be in town next weekend and asking me if the taxes will be ready for him to sign. I replied that the taxes are ready. He texted back that he would arrange some time to sing. This time the texts were kind of dry, he didn’t address me by name, said thank you though… Maybe he thought that he was in contact too much recently and didn’t want to put another “Hi Bright” in his texts, LOL. I replied the same way. I’m getting really good at this . Just wondering how much longer I want to play this game…
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
Last Saturday, met with my BIL (H’s brother) to pick up the numbers and stuff for 5K run on Sunday. Then later that day had a dinner party for my nephew b-day at my sister’s. My BIL and his GF came too. We had great food and some drinks.
On Sunday, met up with my BIL, his GF and a couple of other friends for 5K run. My son joined us at the last moment. Went to a beer garden after the run with the whole crew, and then to a pizza place after that. H was supposed to be there as well. His brother had his bib with the number. But, tough luck, H had to go make some money and could not be at the race…
Later in the afternoon, H texted. Asked “how was the run”, and then if I’m planning to be at the vacation home on Memorial Day weekend, because his nephew expressed interest of going.
I replied to the texts, and we had a bit of conversation going on about the run. He knew that I was with his brother. He went silent after one of my replies. I don’t know…. When I have the conventions like that, it feels like he picks out of the tunnel, then gets scarred and goes right back into it.
I texted him that I’m planning on being at the vacation home on the Memorial Day weekend. It is interesting that he is even asking. Not sure what he is going to do with this info. I don’t really want his nephew in the same condo while I’m there. Will see how it will play out.
And… Today, I got a text from him telling me that he transferred money for car insurance. Hahaha, I guess he could not find anything better, which I kind of expected.
Anyway, life is good for the moment. I seem to be keeping the positive attitude going:).
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
. Just wondering how much longer I want to play this game…