I would suggest you start surfing the web in your spare time, (when you have a few minutes) and see what's out there in other areas. If you would like me to review your resume, I'd be happy to do so. There may be some things that could be enhanced or there may be things that you need to rethink. But, the offer is on the table.
Now is the time to start looking. Spring is a good time for that because this is generally the time when people begin to think about moving around because summer isn't too far away for relocating families and enrolling in new schools.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
How does this work with child support. We haven't signed anything yet. If I earn less money, does this mean he will have to pay more? I know the judge could say that I'm capable of earning this amount now...I don't want to slow things down further though.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
I checked the Ohio State Association url about your question. It is based on the combined "gross" income of both and then there are other factors into the mix. Here is the link I looked at:
Keep in mind, if you earn less money, you won't be able to afford the place you are living in and rents are high these days. You won't be able to afford the payments on your vehicle, etc. You need to find a position that is comparable, if not more, to live on. Don't gamble w/the judicial system and hope that he will have to pay more if you take a lower paying position. He could very well take you back to court and say that you did this deliberately to get more money from him. It's been done before and I know of several cases whereby the child support was changed in favor of the father, i.e., my cousin was one of them and his former wife wasn't too happy about that.
Keep moving forward as you are and don't gamble w/what you are getting. Don't settle for less salary...you are worth every penny and more because of your experience and education. Don't just settle.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
You are a smart lady and a dedicated mother. I have to say this. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! Stop trying to go backwards to either a) make Smoky pay or b)to play the victim. I say this with compassion and kindness. I really do.
Maybe this isn't the dream job. However, sometimes we have to do what we have to do. I wore a horse costume in college at a restaurant on kids night because it paid more than to wait tables on that particular night. I felt ridiculous. And I would do it again if that is what I had to do.
Why would you want to try to get a new position earning less? Make no sense. Again, please don't take this as a 2x4. I'm just riding on the logic train. If you were in a gig where you were making a hundy a year and a new, more fulfilling opp came along and you were offered $70k a year, that I could understand. In your current situation, less doesn't seem like a viable option.
Aim high lady! Move forward-not backwards and don't *count on* Smoky to be the difference maker.
Hang in there!
3 kids BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. ) Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style D final 9-9-14 "Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
This isn't about playing a victim. For me, this is about claiming what's mine in this world. Claiming what's due my kids'...whether that means claiming what is owed them financially or by way of contentment.
I have been the victim because that's what I've known. I'm slowly coming out of my shell and realizing what's due me in this world, just like everyone else. I'm metamorphozing from a victim into a conqueror. No one said it would be easy or smooth.
My life has been about what others have said I am, others have told me what I want...who I should be, etc...
I suspect you have always been the type of person who feels confident in her own skin when it comes to career decisions and being true to yourself. I see that in the way you respond to your marriage ending. I admire your ability to push forward and accept what is...You seem to make decisions and own them, never looking backwards. That's great...for you.
I'm a different type of person. I've approached things based on my experiences, my own sense of self and that has value too.
I'm closer to where I'm supposed to be. I'm closer and I'm celebrating every ounce of that victory. God is pushing me harder to keep reaching for the prize.
What's normal for me is to accept what is--even when it's much less than I deserve or what doesn't fit for me--I've never been comfortable asking for what I need---and without realizing it--I will deplete myself until there's little left and I'm a lump of exhaustion. Why? IDK. I suppose because that's what I've always known.
I settle and sit tight and wait for someone to see my value. That's where you and I are different. You seem to claim your value because it's inherently a part of you to see you deserve more and you demand it. I don't. This is all knew to me.
I'm getting there, but most of the time, I feel like a loser who has already failed before I begin.
I'm not sure where I'm meant to be...Maybe this is it. I, honestly, don't know. I DO know, however, that I've wasted a good deal of my life in waiting...and waiting...and waiting...
All the while, there's been this passion burning inside for a life that feels right for me. It's different than what I see most people striving for...
I'm closer than I've ever been. I'm just not there yet. It's a life where I'm living within my means. I'm writing pieces that bring me joy. I'm enjoying what's around me. I'm enjoying my daughter. Right now, I'm back to a hamster on a wheel. But, I'm still closer...
Does this make sense? I'm not throwing in the towel. Not by any stretch of the imagination. I'm looking forward in my way.
I'm my own brand of crazy and I will get there.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
This job and D12 doesn't leave much time...but, I'm doing it.
Had a cool opportunity yesterday where I was guest judge for an American Legion event, alongside an assembly woman and head of the district legion...I was a celebrity judge...very cool.
Children's authors, local authors keep cropping up where I least expect them :-)
Feeling like I'm in charge of my own life again. That's the key, for me, to feel as if I have choices...All very new. Strange. Weird.
Rents are coming down around here because of the downsizing of Fort Drum. I actually looked for a bit at some cheaper properties...that was a relief. I can do this.
Little steps. Little steps.
This company I'm working for...kinda [censored].
But, I'm good! And, I LOVE NEW YORK ;-)
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
I finally have a dishwasher after 15 years without.
I finally have a bathroom of my own where there's no mold growing along the edge and I don't have to share it with my daughters.
I still don't get my hair cut regularly because I'm not able to swing that. I have been cutting my own hair for about a decade because I didn't feel like it was expense I could manage or like I deserved it.
I finally have a car with less than 200,000 miles on it!
Oh! But a deer ran into us the other day and smashed up the left side. Have to handle that.
I'm beginning to see that things other people take for granted haven't come so easily for me...I've pretended for a lot of years. I'm a good pretender.
There are certain things I'm not good at and will never be.
Maybe that's why these boards have worked for me. I'm able to be honest.
Sometimes, actually a lot of time, I have wondered if something is wrong and that's why I struggle so much with budgeting and managing details and what not.
I'm not good at this job because there are details that I simply miss. No matter how hard I try, I miss the details and the job doesn't include a support staff to pick up on those.
I think I may have Asperger's or something...it really doesn't matter at this point...but, maybe, just maybe, I'm finally accepting me for me--warts and all---and I've stopped fighting it.
I think this is why I have been so protective of Louisa. I get it. Doesn't mean that she and I have an excuse to hide from the world. Much the opposite, we owe it to the world to show how we can survive, happily, with what God's given us. But, it means simplifying and forcing myself to celebrate my gifts as opposed to focusing so heavily on my defects. I have some gifts others don't, but they are a bit unconventional.
Oh my God...I think I'm finally becoming FREE.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
