Nice Sabbath day today. Last night AM phoned and told me she wasn't coming to church today...she was upset about something that had happened and wasn't feeling that well. We talked for a bit and she had to go. I texted her before bed and said I hoped she'd change her mind 'cuz it's always better to be with people who care about you rather than sitting alone and depressed in her room. So this morning she texted me and said she was on her way to church. She sat beside me at church (Agnes was with us too) and then we went downstairs for fellowship lunch. We sat together and had a nice lunch. Afterwards we went back to Agnes place with her and Rita. We sat and chatted, had dinner and played games till 11:00 pm and then they all drove me home. AM says friends have been asking about me on FB 'cuz they see my photos over and over. They ask her whether I'm her employer. She says she tells them "he's my secret!" Anyway, next Sabbath AM and I are singing a duet in front of the church...The Old Rugged Cross. Pray for me...she'll be fine but it's me who needs the prayer lol. Well, it was a nice day...I am blessed.
It is really interesting to read how a relationship develops. Agnes.....She has something to do in this? Not sure what..But I will keep reading. Its like my personal novela...hahaha
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
Yes Rick, we like to sing "I wish they all could be Adventist girls" lol. Agnes and Rita are my two best friends at church. They are both Elders of the church...and in life. They're both in their early 80's. I'm sure Agnes is playing matchmaker lol. Adventists like to match up Adventists lol. Both her and Rita have adopted AM and it's really touched my heart to see it. AM didn't have a guitar and she loves playing guitar so Rita gave her a guitar. Agnes lets AM sleep over at her place too. AM is in a very difficult employment situation and we've all pitched in to be there for her. I was once told "Adventists take care of each other" and I'm seeing it first hand
I've written a few poems lately...free verse stuff. I like free verse cuz it doesn't need rhythm or rhyme it's just whatever flows out of you. I wrote all the time when my marriage was ending and still have those poems. I don't know whether they are good or bad but they are full of raw emotion and I can still feel it when I re-read them. I guess lately I've been feeling things again and that brings up a lot of emotion...both hope and fear. So these just kind of came to me...they are what they are.
Burial
I buried my heart In the yard one day Deep in the soil Where it won’t get away It’s down in the dark Where light can’t see Secure in the dirt Never again to flee It can’t be touched But is safe as can be To rot and decay This is now me.
Welcome Back…
Welcome back, my heart You’ve been away awhile Seeking a dark place to hide Where you won’t hurt anymore I’ve found us a new place Where possibility trumps fear And warmth extinguishes cold Where trust is starting to grow As one hand slips into another And smiles blaze brightly You can beat with wild abandon And the world will seem right Welcome back, my heart It’s been a long time The door remains open At least for this night.
The End
Destroy me softly Make no sound Just do it quickly And burn what’s left I see it coming It’s in your eyes You smile, you laugh But it ain’t real Come and get me I won’t resist Don’t have the strength And don’t wanna fight So make it deep Don’t leave any scars Unsightly and permanent That’s not for me So let’s get to it Do it now Do it good Just do it.
Sidenote I just have to post lol. Yesterday I was showing my co-worker a clip on You Tube of the Caine Mutiny to show him how our boss is just like Captain Queeg. Queeg was on the stand talking about the missing strawberries...today the boss comes to our staff meeting and first thing she says is "who took my strawberries?"...I kid you not lol. Too funny!
Well, didn't know my You Tube link was a no no. Anyway, to those who wish to read my moderated post here goes. I didn't do the duet today with AM. I began feeling tired and achy yesterday and this morning I was coughing and feeling like crap. I texted pastor not to pick me up and AM to tell her she was going solo. I felt bad but AM has no problem singing solo. Anyway, I also had a fight with my daughter yesterday. It's their mother's birthday and they want to take her out for dinner so I told them they'd have to pay for it. Nobody seems to get that their father is freakin' poor! I don't have a car now 'cuz I can't afford one. We had a blowout. I felt like crap and my temper got the best of me. We didn't talk again until this afternoon. AM texted me to see how I was feeling and we talked. I told her about the fight and we talked about it for a bit. I also told her how I was feeling...I shared what I was really "feeling" and told her it was hard for me to do that with her. She said "Awwwwwww" Anyway, after that I decided to go to my daughter and apologize for losing my temper. I shared how I felt and we talked and she apologized too. So all is well...except I still feel like crap, just a little less so.
