I took a huge emotional step today. I went to the grocery store and got a different loyalty card. The one we used for the last 15 years was attached to H's phone so I had to give it to them every time I went grocery shopping. The actual card has been long gone but I didn't want to get a new one. Silly but just giving them his H's number made me feel like he was still here. Pathetic but true.
M:25 years at BD w/ 2 daughters BD: 5/14 Separated 6/14 - H moved cross country w/OW D Final 9/17
“I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.” ― Maya Angelou
That IS a big step, Gwen! Did it make you feel a little stronger? It can be sad, but, let it give you the independent vibe!
I had to switch mine, bc xh would use the gas point on it! (We can earn discounts on gas the more you spend. Whenever I would go to the gas station, they would be gone!!!! What a pr!ck!) Needless to say... for me changing it was a bit of a different feeling....
And hey- NOT PATHETIC! Don't ever think that! It's a strange bizarre-o world they put us in. Dealing with our emotions is a horse of a different color.
Good for you Gwen. I can see how it can be a huge step emotionally. But eventually, it also can be very liberating.
I opened my own bank accounts and separate credit card, even though I still have joint once with H. They are there for convenience purposes. All I can say is that having my own accounts and credit cards make me feel more in control of my life.
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
Reality is my middle name but maybe it should have been independence?
H wrote my atty yesterday to see if the lawsuit was dismissed after H signed the separation agreement. He avoided doing anything for months but now H takes care of business. I guess he's making plans as he moves to OW's city in a few weeks. Gosh that still stings but I have boundaries now -- the house, alimony, child support. I have a full time job and am starting a new chapter. I told H I love him enough to let him go and now I have to love me enough to follow through on that promise with my heart and my head.
Going to be alone this weekend. Not dreading it and not sure why the shift? I am grateful for it though - a little acceptance is a good thing.
Last edited by 123Gwen; 03/27/1509:36 AM.
M:25 years at BD w/ 2 daughters BD: 5/14 Separated 6/14 - H moved cross country w/OW D Final 9/17
“I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.” ― Maya Angelou
I have a loyalty card for a grocery store and my h linked his card with mine which he has never removed so I get all their points ....and points mean lots of vouchers for moi ha ha.
Gwen - to make that leap in your head, wow. You are really doing so well with all of this. Keep going my friend, we shall walk this minefield of craziness together :o) ((hugs))
Tomorrow is Easter and in May it will be 1 year since BD.
H just quit job and took another one to move in with OW. Luckily the financial piece is settled so I don't have to talk to him much. right now we must finish up the business of taxes, insurance, etc. --- After all that I imagine the only thing to expect is the direct deposit. Gosh that sounds awful. I loved him for my entire adult life. The man I knew and loved is gone.
Not sure what I am feeling. Relief to be past the financial issues. Anger but not really anywhere to put it. I refused to be dramatic for the last year because it would hurt any financial settlement. Now it would just be sad to act angry so I am alone and I want to release this anger but I am too tired. I am mentally exhausted and my heart can't bleed anymore.
M:25 years at BD w/ 2 daughters BD: 5/14 Separated 6/14 - H moved cross country w/OW D Final 9/17
“I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.” ― Maya Angelou
You are handling thing exceptionally well. While he has run away, you have stood strong for your daughters.You have stood your ground and demanded what is only right. you have a lot to be proud of.
I can truly understand how mentally exhausted you are at this point. I would not worry about the anger. You will find ways here and there to let out little pieces of it to either there is no more or it no longer matters.
Twisting on Life's Rope Me53 W53 M20 D21 D19 D16 BD 2-2013 D final 1-2015 _________________________ "Dream about tomorrow, Live for today, Learn from yesterday"
I for one understand your anger, your exhaustion and tiredness at the situation. This is all normal. There is no time line to the process for the LBS. It is a journey of healing, one that if you let your soul lead you through you will get to where you need to be.
I know this stinks.
All I can tell you is this. There is a better place mentally then where you are today. I understand the feeling of losing the person you thought would be there forever.
The part of this journey that is often missed(my opinion). Is that you should be your own best friend. When you are by yourself(are you really). The internal strength that can be gained from this experience is enormous. Take time to find the silver linings in this part of your life. It is well worth it.
