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A Message from Michele
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#2474866 - 08/01/14 04:20 PM so confused
hope224 Offline
Member

Registered: 07/30/14
Posts: 44
H and I have been married for 1.5 yr, Together for almost 3 yrs. have a 5mth old now. He dropped the D bomb out of nowhere 06/20/14. wanted a divorce asap but I cant because of some visa status prob. Since then, I started a new job, got my mum to take care of the baby. He had been avoiding his family and me around 4th july and didnt come home. after all the drama, he came home a few weeks ago and told me those weeks were the worst and he felt so lonely. He also tells me I am the only person he can open up to. We were being cordial the past few weeks, had been intimate and even went out on a date (all while constantly reminding me not to be hopeful, that we were going to separate till i figure out my next steps).
I really want to kick him out or leave but i am unable to financially. His family wants me to move to their state but I'm so worried that I wont get another job as quick. Also, I wanted to see if he really meant that he wants to spend time with the baby.

I don't know what to do anymore. One day, I think I have a great solution to this, and another day, I feel like I'm not thinking logically.
_________________________
Me:27 H:26
T:3 M:1.5
D 6 months
D bomb: 6/21/14
I Moved out 9/7/14

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#2475165 - 08/02/14 01:09 PM Re: so confused [Re: hope224]
Cadet Online

Member

Registered: 11/24/09
Posts: 11496
Loc: NY
Welcome to the board

Get out and GAL.

DETACH.

Believe none of what he says and half of what he does.

Have NO EXPECTATIONS.

Take care of yourself, breathe, eat, sleep, exercise.

You are on moderation right now on the forum.
SO post in small frequent posts until you get off of it.

Your H is giving you a GIFT.
THE GIFT OF TIME.

USE it wisely.

Knowledge is Power - Sir Francis Bacon
_________________________
Me-63, D31,S29

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#2475166 - 08/02/14 01:10 PM Re: so confused [Re: Cadet]
Cadet Online

Member

Registered: 11/24/09
Posts: 11496
Loc: NY
I also suggest you post in newcomers their is more traffic there
_________________________
Me-63, D31,S29

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#2475715 - 08/04/14 05:31 PM Re: so confused [Re: Cadet]
hope224 Offline
Member

Registered: 07/30/14
Posts: 44
thanks. I just did that. I've been trying to GAL and i relapse sometimes.
_________________________
Me:27 H:26
T:3 M:1.5
D 6 months
D bomb: 6/21/14
I Moved out 9/7/14

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#2475800 - 08/04/14 08:45 PM Re: so confused [Re: hope224]
hope224 Offline
Member

Registered: 07/30/14
Posts: 44
Are there any ways to make the detachment easier? I know my mistake is talking about the baby's future too much. But, I dont know if its a right decision to stay in this state or move away. How long do I work on this till I have to absolutely start living on my own? He hasn't told me to leave and I haven't either but he keeps reminding me that we are separating even if things seem good now.
_________________________
Me:27 H:26
T:3 M:1.5
D 6 months
D bomb: 6/21/14
I Moved out 9/7/14

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#2550929 - 03/25/15 05:00 PM Re: so confused [Re: hope224]
Palau Offline
New Member

Registered: 03/15/15
Posts: 8
I am in the same boat. Extremely confused. Happy one day, bawling the next. I don't have a child but am unable to move out. He won't leave, but insists on a no-fault.
Try to hold onto hope. I am doing the same.
Making an effort not to be different, but get back to making myself important.
I've been good about keeping my distance - he has initiated intimacy twice. I gave in because I missed him.
Have to be stronger next time.
The uncertainties are the worst.

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Moderator:  Virginia 

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