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Joined: Feb 2015
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Hi Alpha

Look at this site gingerbread, they are extremely good legal children support line where you can get all free advise on steps you can get.

However, I would take twin moms advice and start building your ammunition and present to your wife a legal draft so no MIL or anybody can start changing or let's say abuse with schedule between your children and you.

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alpha99 Offline OP
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Thanks for all your advice. I am going to finally seek legal advice in the next day or two and will contact the Gingerbread line.

W left voicemail on phone as I woke up this morning. She also called me. Her plan has changed. Now apparently the kids are disruptive for her due to their time spent with me. BS. It's simple to understand what's going on here: I am a great dad and the kids had a great time due to me giving them my full attention. W doesn't do that. The kids will have gone 'home' to her and have been sidelined whilst she played on her phone or something similar. My S6 in particular has very likely said I want my daddy.

It may sound one sided here but the absolute truth is that I have always been the one to dote on the kids whilst my W has struggled to be a good mum. Now I'm not there it is of course more difficult for her. The whole thing is a joke. I had FIL come on the phone and accuse me of spoiling the kids rotten. Ironic given I make them drink water, don't ply them with sweets, spend time on things like playing in the park, playing games at home, and certainly don't spoil them rotten. Our children are noted for their manners and excellent behaviour, due in large part to how I have ensured they have been brought up. W on the other hand post S has gone mad buying toys, presents, football cards, computer games etc for them. Other people have noted the kids' standard of behaviour dropping as they spend more time away from me. Due to family arguments for which I am now getting all the blame, MIL and FIL didn't see our children for about 4 years. They don't know what went on in that time but of course have been given a highly biased version of events by W.

Gaining more info on her motives as the anger rages out of her. She fears if she agrees to X amount of nights then I won't have to pay child maintenance and I'll try and steal her other child related government benefits. Unfortunately the whole family (W, MIL, FIL) seem to have gone crazy.

When I pointed out that our mortgage is due tomorrow and another bill for which W owes half, she said she wasn't going to pay and shouted off the phone to FIL I'm demanding money from her. I could hear him ranting off the phone that they'll go to court if I want to be nasty. They're so enraged they can't make sense of anything. It's like if I said 'Do you like apple's?' They would reply along the lines of 'why are you bullying me into eating poisonous fruit?' Crazy!!!!

The good thing is I am calm and detached. Feelings for my W are a long way from the surface now.


BD - 30TH JAN 2015
S - 30TH JAN 2015
PA CONFIRMED - 16TH FEB 2015 (SINCE AT LEAST OCT 2014)
CONTINUAL TALK OF D
ME: 31
W: 28
T: 10yrs
M: 4.5yrs
D:5, S:6
Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 399
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alpha99 Offline OP
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I think we are nearing the end of this thread. Let's hope the next one brings a turn around in fortune for me smile

For the first time I have looked into child maintenance payments that I potentially may have to make should W claim for them. Because I work at home and at the moment my income is quite low, I would potentially only have to pay under £10/week to her. I feel so much better for having checked that out. My wife has nothing on me really now. That was a big worry, that I would be burdened by this for the next ten years or more. Don't get me wrong, I want to provide for my children and give them everything they need. I just don't see how giving any money to my W when she is notoriously bad with handling money; most of it would go on clothes, make up, nights out etc, would be beneficial to the children at all. I'd much rather have the money myself and make full use of it in my own time with the children.

Since I am living with my parents now and have no real bills to pay, I will be fine financially. Once the house is sold I will have plenty of money as a back up for a rainy day. Apart from divorcing and selling the house (if that happens then I have a legal right to half the money from the house sale) then that only leaves access to the children. We seem to have agreed two days for me with a third time each week just being pick them up from school and give them tea before returning them. I think I need to look at the bigger picture here: W just will not be able to cope with her finances, believe me, she is pathologically inclined to spend money, that she won't be able to live the fantasy lifestyle she must have envisaged upon deciding to leave, and so that will leave her being tied down to her house and unable to do much. Well, I can see in the not too distant future, whatever her crazy demands now, that I do indeed help out and have the kids more. I will do this on a basis that suits me and the children of course.

She is acting like she has gone temporarily insane.


BD - 30TH JAN 2015
S - 30TH JAN 2015
PA CONFIRMED - 16TH FEB 2015 (SINCE AT LEAST OCT 2014)
CONTINUAL TALK OF D
ME: 31
W: 28
T: 10yrs
M: 4.5yrs
D:5, S:6
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