My story

[EyeTie]

Guess I am still in the dinosaur age, but I don't think these types of conversations need to take place through texting.

The nice thing about doing it over text is then there is proof of what is said. So if there is an issue, you can go back and read what the person wrote.

What could you have done differently when she called you cursing and using all kinds of vulgar name-calling?

I would say "Do not talk to me like this or I will hang up".

[quote=sandi2]When you told her you would no longer tolerate her talking to you in that manner (which is certainly a needed boundary), what did you have in mind to use as a consequence if she does not honor it?

I will disconnect the phone call on her. Which has happened in the past, which sends her into a tizzy. She hates being hung up on.

You cannot reason with a WW, and if she's so angry she is throwing that kind of fit.......it is a waste of breath to go into any explanation with her.

That right there is golden, Sandi. It's like playing monopoly in a dark room with a bunch of monkeys. It just doesn't work.

[EyeTie]

So we had a family emergency yesterday for my Father. Nothing serious, but just somethings I had to take care of.

I got the call while my S was at swim lessons, so I ran him back to my WW right afterwards. I could tell she wanted to talk for a second, but I said "I have a family emergency I have to take care of." She then said "What? What is going on?" with concern in her face. I quickly repeated "I have a family emergency..." Which got my point across. She wanted to leave, she is no longer part of my family. I didn't say anything else and walked out to my car and left.

She text me twice afterwards, once saying that she was looking at summer programs for the kids. I wrote her back and said I was too busy to talk about it. She wrote me back a few hours later with the details of said programs, which I ignored. First thing this morning she text asking if I had a chance to look at what she sent. I told her I did but I was too busy to figure out what to do yet.

I know it's driving her crazy not knowing what the "family emergency" is, because she often LOVES drama. Guess we will see.

[EyeTie]

So, I had another cooking class tonight and once again I was partnered with the same gal from last week. At the end of the class, she asked if I would grab a drink with her and I said "sure".

We had a beer, talked and had a great time. At one point she took a picture of us and put it on FB. I know my WW FB stalks me, I am very curious as to how this goes.

[EyeTie]

We had our first Divorce Mediation tonight. I wasn't sure what to expect, but it went better than I thought. Our mediator thinks we have 1 1/2 more sessions before things are finished, which is extremely fast for me. She put up a fight about a few things, but for the most part we were agreeable on everything.

Honestly, I am not even sure if I want to make this marriage work anymore. When I first came here, I was desperate to save it, to breath life into it. But as time goes on and I am seeing things very differently. In the beginning, I broke every rule there was, but those days are behind me. And I think she finally realizes that this is the end. I am still worried about my kids. I am still worried about my future. Hell, I am still worried about her mental well being, but in the end, things will be fine.

[EyeTie]

I have been doing fine lately. Just getting our house ready to put on the market.

Spent the weekend, packing, cleaning and painting. I saw W earlier at church, we sat together but didn't talk. After church she came by to drop off a few things and we ended up going to lunch as a family (with S & D), then went carpet shopping. We had fun, although later in the day she kept texting someone, whatever. When we got closer to my house she did start a fight with me about her Mother calling her last week. I had to get rid of one of our dogs (which was her Mothers) and called to let her know. She lives in Texas and we always got along great. I guess after I talked to her on Friday she called my W, what was said is beyond me, but obviously it did NOT leave my wife happy. Which is what caused the fight after our day.

She then said that I always hated her family (not true) and that she doesn't want me talking to her Mom all the time (I have talked to her once since W moved out). We were able to calm down and ended up texting one another afterwards.

The majority of her texts were "temp checking" about things. I kept my cool though and said "I do not want our old marriage." "I am not making changes in my life, hoping that we get back together." etc. She hasn't written back yet, but I guess we will see what happens.

[sandi2]

Just be careful about the girl from the cooking class. An ego shot? Sure it is, and you probably need it. However, you are also vulnerable for a rebound relationship.

What you are feeling today about having doubts you want the M to be saved, will probably change in a few days. In other words, others have experienced the same feelings.

[EyeTie]

Just be careful about the girl from the cooking class. An ego shot? Sure it is, and you probably need it. However, you are also vulnerable for a rebound relationship.

Thank you Sandi. I agree with you, I did NOT give her my # when she asked for it. I am NOT ready to date and made that clear. I know she is interested, but it's not where I am at.

What you are feeling today about having doubts you want the M to be saved, will probably change in a few days. In other words, others have experienced the same feelings.

Exactly. I think I just want closure one way or the other. I feel like for the last several months, I am standing at the fork in the road. One path is "divorce" the other is "no divorce" and I am waiting for that decision to be made. I just want to be happy.

[EyeTie]

Tonight, after some soul searching, I decided to take another big step. I deleted my WW off of FB and changed my privacy settings. No longer can she see what I am up to and throw it in my face. It's a good feeling.

[Mozza]

Tonight, after some soul searching, I decided to take another big step. I deleted my WW off of FB and changed my privacy settings. No longer can she see what I am up to and throw it in my face. It's a good feeling.

Congratulations! I'm six months into my sitch and I haven't done this yet. I don't post much though, so that's not a place to know what I'm up to. But my problem is knowing what she's up to, which can throw me off for a few hours or days. So I've hidden her posts from my feed and haven't been to her profile in 1.5 month. Yesterday, I unsubscribed from her Instagram account. It took me this long because it is protected meaning that I can't go back. On Facebook, I'd like to be the one to delete her, before she deletes me, but I haven't found the courage yet.

This is to say that you also took a step to detach from your WW, not just to hide from her. It might be even more important.

[EyeTie]

Tonight, after some soul searching, I decided to take another big step. I deleted my WW off of FB and changed my privacy settings. No longer can she see what I am up to and throw it in my face. It's a good feeling.

Congratulations! I'm six months into my sitch and I haven't done this yet. I don't post much though, so that's not a place to know what I'm up to. But my problem is knowing what she's up to, which can throw me off for a few hours or days. So I've hidden her posts from my feed and haven't been to her profile in 1.5 month. Yesterday, I unsubscribed from her Instagram account. It took me this long because it is protected meaning that I can't go back. On Facebook, I'd like to be the one to delete her, before she deletes me, but I haven't found the courage yet.

This is to say that you also took a step to detach from your WW, not just to hide from her. It might be even more important.

Thank you Mozza. I just felt it was the right thing to do now. She rarely posts anything, but she looks at my stuff all the time and will casually slip it into a conversation. I think by deleting her, it will only cause her to speculate more. Which is fine. I really love her, I would love to get things fixed, but she isn't in the right frame of mind to even entertain that idea, so this was the next logical step. Detach, detach, detach.