Sounds good Jim. Glad work is so absorbing for you at the moment, and lovely you have the kids and family for Easter too.
Interesting that your W is so unable to interact even on a basic level. I think it is best to just be consistent in your approach and I think light and pleasant is a good way to go. Time will tell, but I think in terms of the kids too, it's a good way to 'be' around your W.
Good job with the GAL! x
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Hi Jim. Nothing much to add. You seem strong and getting on with your life which is great. As others have said nothing is over until it's over for you Sometimes I think when a sitch seems black and white the most surprising things can happen. Positive thoughts your way mate. Take care. Rd
Hi Jim! Just checking in to see how you are. It sounds like you are doing well and staying strong. I am keeping you in my positive thoughts and prayers, Jim. Happy thoughts coming your way!
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
Well it's been a beautifully sunny weekend here in the UK.
I had my kids for 3 days of it and I really enjoyed my time with them though we will be rationing chocolate eggs for about 6 months I reckon.
More Ceroc last week, lunch with a friend at work as well and about to go for a run. S1s birthday coming up on Thursday (how did he get so big)
Only contact with W was at child handovers, she still doesn't want to engage on any level. I asked a question about her running (she was in gym kit) and she killed the conversation.
She had to sign some banking forms in her maiden name as she has changed it which was the first time she has confirmed that to me, though neither of us mentioned it.
I've told her I'm planning on taking the kids on holiday and she is anxious about how I'll cope on my own - I'm not discussing it with her other than to say I'll cope. She's always been anxious about this sort of stuff and I knew it would concern her but I'm not going to let it affect my plans.
Having said all that she does seem genuinely happy though so I guess the split is working out well for her.
Both mid 30s, 2 young kids BD 7sep14 XW moved on long ago, now living with OM1 D paperwork in progress
I think YOU are doing well, too, Jim. You sound stronger with each post and more sure of yourself and your relationship with your kids. Good for you! I know I keep saying this, but you are always in my positive thoughts and prayers. I am rooting for you in your new life.
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
I'm also rooting for you - and think 'Jim is great!' Lovely that you're planning a trip with the kids and deflecting the 'can you cope' worries.
Your W still perplexes me a little - in that there's no good reason for her to be so averse to simple 'passing the time of day' convos. But best for me not to wonder about that! Time will tell.
Is W happy in her new life? Well she's clearly presenting 'happy' to you. But we know the 'arc' of most A's and the stats are not in W and OM's favour.
But best not to wonder about any of this, and carry on being fabulous Jim, whom we've all grown so fond of.
ps. I'm glad to see you're still following me about and agreeing with me - I like that in a man!
Last edited by Toots; 04/07/1505:08 PM.
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Now upon reflection would you revise that 100 things list?
Jim you have a great holiday planned with your two lovely kids, I remember your WW anxiety when you took them to London before Xmas. That was a great time for you all. So no issues at all with that I think.
I absolutely know that Jim is going to have an amazing R with his kids whatever happens. I agree with Toots on the WW and OM issue. Now I am following Toots around and agreeing with her! Hmmmm, must be hypnosis..........
mind you its in my plan to get the whole board dancing!
Big holiday sunshine hugs to Jim and his two cuties! (((((((((Hugs)))))))
Last edited by Vanilla; 04/07/1509:18 PM.
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
You guys with all your dancing! I'm feeling left out. Actually there is a dance studio just around the corner from me and I've looked into classes. Just need to have a 6 week block open in order to sign up.
Jim - you are sounding good these days. Actually it's pretty gratifying to be on here and watch the "transition" points, when people go from newcomer blues to just hankering down and getting on with it. That brings joy to me, seeing my colleagues grow and become happy in their own selves.
Or is it the change in weather?
The holiday sounds like a great idea. Any thoughts on where to go? You guys are so lucky to have Europe on your doorstep.
H 37 Me 36 Together 15 years Married 5 years No kids BD Apr 2014 H moved out 2 Jun 2014
Well its still sunny here but that makes me increasingly suspicious that this will constitute our summer. All the more reason to get my holiday booked.
I'm planning on taking the kids to the canary islands, just looking for cheap (ish) simple and managable with a now S2 and soon to be D4 in tow. They love pools and beaches and so it should be really nice.
Gan, yes having all of Europe within a couple of hours flight is amazing. Door to door I can be in Rome, Paris, Berlin, Monaco, Prague, Geneva etc. Etc. All within about 6 hours
As for more immediate - it was S2s birthday this week so between that and Easter the little man didn't then understand why I tried serving him anything not made of chocolate. He was happy though.
Now got 5 nights and days without them (had 2, 3 more to go) and without really intending to I've ended up with social plans on every one of those nights so that's all good.
Today is gardening and painting D4s bedroom as soon as I stop stalling.
As for my W well no contact since the last handover and I don't expect any until the next one on Friday. I posted on mozzas thread about this but I do look back (with revisionist glasses admittedly - cyan tinted???) And wonder why I didn't spot the red flags but also how much of my hurt was about the loss of my routine, my stability and my dream rather than the loss of my wife for who she is.
In a lot of purely selfish ways I realise that my life is actually a lot better now, there is certainly more going on, and I'm feeling really positive about my career (I have a ridiculously elaborate plan but its potentially awesome). If I was to meet someone new who was a good fit for me (and me for her) and she was prepared to be fully involved with and love my kids then all in all this whole debacle would have ended up being incredibly positive for me and my life.
Never would have believed that 7 months ago...
Right enough procrastination - on with the day!!!
Both mid 30s, 2 young kids BD 7sep14 XW moved on long ago, now living with OM1 D paperwork in progress
Hi Jim. Incredibly positive post. Even the bit about looking back. I do spend way too much time on Google to research situations like us on this forum and the over riding thing I've found is we have to live our lives Yes we can be sad over what's happening and have anger for how we feel we were treated but we have to get on with it. Great to read a positive post mate. Take care. Rd
Happy thoughts coming your way!