Oh, and yes, your in-laws are jerks, but then you already knew that a long time ago. Speaking of which - what kind of family support do you have in your own family?
I know KML that the insurance is not the main reason to stall but I am following my atty's advice. She is a two time brain cancer survivor and had a divorce from a guy just as insensitive as my H.
So she's looking at all aspects of this scenario. I am not wanting my MLCer back. The children hold no respect for him and just see him as weird.
I am hurt from all sides but my family, my church and my friends are my support. They support me spiritually and emotionally.
I'm just praying and I am keeping my business hat on. I'm letting the attorney do the work I'm paying her to do.
I know I'll be fine. I know my in-laws are horrible and that my H is delusional.
My focus is on my faith, my health and my children.
vge1 - I'm praying for you. I simply cannot imagine how difficult this must be for you and your children. You sound strong and level-headed. You'll need to dig deep to get through the next few months, but I know you can do it. We're here to listen.
And I'm glad to hear you say you don't want your MLC'r back. He sure doesn't sound like a keeper to me. WOW. I know he's in MLC, but this is just such horrendous behavior. Remember, HE is the one who has to live with himself, his choices, his consequences. Maybe one day he will see the hurt he caused. Then, God help him. Blessings to you vge1.
Me 53, XH 57 M 20 (+1.5) years, no kids BD June '13 H moved out July '13 Confirmed long-suspected PA Feb '14 H filed for D Nov. '14 D March '15
vge, so sorry to come across this recent development, above, 'more drama.'
You have received very sound advice re: the posts following your own - job, gwen, kml ... livenow 'chimed in' (doesn't sound like a keeper to me - & in this condition, he is NOT)
I read that your lawyer's sitch is similar to your own so you 'follow as directed' of course. However, it might still be prudent to 'mentally file' this info. away. You never know, you may need to re visit in future, life is strange that way.
I do echo the sentiments of yourself & the others (let the lawyer do what she has to for you). As for you? You have ONE thing to do & that is to continue to reach out to your (many) support systems during this time of adversity. Keep them alive. Your in laws are a let down . Your h has even more (!)'goodies' on the way for you - although even he doesn't know it yet!!! You have this one thing to do for you - use your support systems to keep your head above water.
Your body is fighting a war with the cancer, your mind is fighting a war b/c of the mlc + all the associated fall out (!) ... ow, in laws etc. Fight - your support is your 'army'.
You are at war vge, so *strategy (below/col.) as in war, is key to win these battles of mind & body. Fight this bastard & his $%^@* family (they are wrong to react like this. I have no expectations of mlc-er right now, but they should be mature enough to separate the issues. Your M is one thing. Your illness is another. That's it. Your illness is NOT a tool for 'vendetta or side taking', that aspect is separate & should be treated as such. Any other thinking is just 'gutter.' (Sorry to sound this way but illness is illness - how low should one go? Come on!!!)
Vge, *if one or two things fall at the 'side of the road' leave it be, maybe it has to, in the interim, so that you can 'catch your breath' to continue your journey (suggested above/post). This is your health. You are 'life raft' for your children.
Continue to tell your children how much you love them (& even during your 'not so good days' that TRUTH is there whether expressed or not) let them KNOW IT. Let them know that nothing lasts forever, ... reassure them that no matter what, they are stronger than they know & will make it. Give them the tools to make it so.
p. (support / 'soldier' in your army )
pbetra ---- M: 15 yrs (in 2014) BD: 6/03/2014 Infidelity ('known' from July 2014) Denied PA Feb 2015 2 leave Mar 2015 (left early Summer). Some contact. Back briefly 2017 (after family death) Separated 2017
I saw this documentary on Nova where this art dealer found what may be a DaVinci. He bought it for a piddly $20,000 (relatively speaking this is like a .25 for a DaVinci).
Anyway, I've been struggling with this idea that my husband could abandon my daughters and I and leave us with nothing to exist on financially and otherwise. He really left us with nothing. And, his parents, who were in a position to help, didn't choose to help...instead, they joined the Heather-bashing train too. And, abandoned our kids, made things harder for them...when they could have been supportive and made things easier. They chose not to.
And, I guess there will always be this part of me that believes I somehow deserved it. Some part of me says, "See? They knew your real worth. You don't deserve to be happy or whatever..."
Well, that's when I remind myself of the DaVinci.
Plenty of other art treasures have been found in flea markets, attics and the garbage. People toss aside priceless treasures all the time. And, just because the treasure gets a bit battered or sits in the garbage, doesn't make it garbage. It's still priceless.
The problem comes when you put a priceless treasure among people who can't recognize it's value. They don't see it. I think I was under the impression that I didn't deserve to surround myself with people who understood priceless treasures. I figured I was garbage, so I surrounded myself with garbage.
You need to surround yourself with people who recognize the priceless treasure you are.
And, please, please, fill your ears with positive messages right now. There have been times when I've kept my earphones in my ears with Gospel and sermons playing 24/7 just to keep the negative thoughts out. Some of the most amazing miracles have come to me when I filled my ears with God's word 24/7.
You are in the fight for your life. Keep your head up. God chose you for this battle for a reason. You must be one helluva tough cookie.
Last edited by LoisB; 03/22/1512:58 AM.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
You ARE SO RIGHT!! We are all valuable and beautiful priceless treasures. I love your analogy. I can't believe someone can just toss out loving spouses and children and think it's garbage.WE are NOT garbage!
Thank you for the great messages. This battle is not mine to fight alone. The Lord has been so gracious to me and my family. HE has helped me so much and has provided family, friends and this great forum to help fight this spiritual battle.
We are all together in this fight (even without the MLC'er). The fight to keep families whole. The fight to stand up against evil (MLC). The fight to keep our health and our sanity. The fight against injustice. The fight for dignity. The fight for truth. The fight for honesty. The fight for LOVE!
As this battle rages on ... I do have hope. I have hope when I look into the eyes of my children. I have hope when I see them smile. I have hope when we hug. I have hope when I read y'all's great messages. I have hope when I see all of creation. I have hope when I get to wake up. I have hope when I see the CROSS.
I have hope. I have love. I am worthy and I can't wait to WIN!! Let's ROCK IT!
In His Love
VGE1
Romans 8:28
BTW -I just feel tired. I fasted before and after treatment which I think helped me not get nauseated. Whew! Praying next week will go smooth. Thanks for asking y'all. AND THANK Y'ALL Sooo much for your thoughts and prayers. LOVE Y'ALL!
vge - H was being completely unfair before your cancer returned; however now that it has returned I am sure he trying to process everything. I have watched married men run away from their wives when they got cancer, just when the Ws wanted them most. The Hs are running away from their own fears. Your H was already running away from his fears before your diagnosis, this is probably making him run harder.
Big hug for you. You are not alone. Time to focus on you and not worry what is happening with H.
H: 48 Me: 47 Married: 19 yrs T: 20 yrs 2 teen-Ds and S H-MLC (started 2012) and H-Unemployed (11/2014) D-Bomb: 2/2015 H left country but hasn't moved out: 7/2015 I filed: 7/2015
Knies has a few of her own theories for why she is still alive today.
"One, being God had a plan for me," said Knies. "I also had a great team of doctors and wonderful family and friends with a positive attitude."
"The mind is so much more powerful than anyone can imagine," she said. "People believe that when they get cancer, it will kill them. But I never once thought that."
God must have some amazing plans for you that the Devil is working so hard to stop you. Don't let him.
The Devil is a liar. Steady stream of positive messages.
This is your time. You can do this.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
. Your h has even more (!)
You have this one thing to do for you - use your support systems to keep your head above water. 
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