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alpha99 Offline OP
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OK, it's time for an early morning weekend update. I'm going to recap on a few things here. Firstly, W wanted a D. She seems to have backtracked on that considerably. There was a letter sent to our home about a week or so ago from a solicitor. She says this was just an inquiry she had made from when during arguments previously I had said I would make sure I had custody over the kids. I haven't seen any solicitor. It appears she doesn't want to proceed in that direction at the moment either as all her effort seems to be going into enjoying herself and finding somewhere else to live.

Her A was exposed about 3 weeks after we separated. I had an inkling for a while but had it confirmed at this point.

From the split we had weeks of pleading/crying etc. I've stopped that, changed clothes, did other 180s as I've written. This turned W into thinking I was seeking advice, moving on. I broke down momentarily once about 10 days or so ago I think. She has toned down the anger this last week bar the odd flare up, and has been distant but pleasant enough. Kind of like the way I have been actually.

I am trying to find a balance between being nice and pleasant but not overdoing things. I hope the next step is starting to rebuild some sort of connection through limited interaction. I see her virtually every day in small doses. In the next week a 'family' trip out might be on the cards. For now though the focus has to be on myself, the kids, and gauging it right when it comes to interacting with her. The advice in this regard from the board has been fantastic.

so, now we're at the weekend. It's ballet time for my daughter this morning. I will leave in an hour or so to go and get her. After that I'm not sure what to do with the kids. I might take them out somewhere. W has worked last night and so will spend most of the day in bed. She won't be coming with us today. I want to squeeze in some golf practice and watch some cycling that's on the TV later. I have a round of golf planned for tomorrow. Dentist apointment monday, DB coaching session booked for Tuesday, poker Tuesday evening, Italian meet up Wednesday. I need to lay out parenting arrangements for this week. I will do that this morning when I go to get the kids.

I am not sleeping very well. I went to bed at 8pm last night because I was tired but woke up at 10pm and have been just snoozing the whole night. I got up at 4am and have been doing some work. The night time is the worst, being alone, listening to music, sometimes getting a bit upset, longing for my W and children. Day times are not so bad, I am keeping busy, doing lots of things, many of them new activities or old ones that I haven't done in a while.


BD - 30TH JAN 2015
S - 30TH JAN 2015
PA CONFIRMED - 16TH FEB 2015 (SINCE AT LEAST OCT 2014)
CONTINUAL TALK OF D
ME: 31
W: 28
T: 10yrs
M: 4.5yrs
D:5, S:6
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 5,301
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Hi Alpha - sounding good generally....sorry you didn't have the best night though. It's hard functioning on not much sleep. Some people on these boards seem to have found the Headspace app helpful. I haven't tried it, but I am practicing mindfulness and I do think it's help me find a calm place during the rollercoaster ups and downs.

Hope you have a good day with the kids!

Toots :-)


T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
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alpha99 Offline OP
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Thanks for the tip on the Headspace app Toots, I will look into that. I hope you have a nice weekend too.


BD - 30TH JAN 2015
S - 30TH JAN 2015
PA CONFIRMED - 16TH FEB 2015 (SINCE AT LEAST OCT 2014)
CONTINUAL TALK OF D
ME: 31
W: 28
T: 10yrs
M: 4.5yrs
D:5, S:6
Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 399
A
alpha99 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
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Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 399
Just been to get kids. Initiated a little chat about W's work. MIL was quite pleasant with me, showing me practise writing the kids had done. W was cordial. After D's ballet I'm going to take them to the fair for a bit - kids will enjoy it. Hopefully I have begun to gauge things better. It was only a small interaction this morning but it went without a problem. Not the best time to chat to W after night shifts, so I knew not to push any conversations. Will continue on in same vein when info back later.


BD - 30TH JAN 2015
S - 30TH JAN 2015
PA CONFIRMED - 16TH FEB 2015 (SINCE AT LEAST OCT 2014)
CONTINUAL TALK OF D
ME: 31
W: 28
T: 10yrs
M: 4.5yrs
D:5, S:6
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 5,301
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 5,301
Sounds good Alpha - you're managing to do just what MWD recommends - try something, evaluate how it goes etc....good for you. Hope you enjoy the fair!


T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
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