Not dumb anymore (2)

[DaddyLongShanks]

Burger, I am also dealing with the online fantasy world with my wife. Mine has gone so far as to pretend she is someone else at times. It is sad! I am also in separate bedrooms. I am just waiting for that guy from the show on MTV called Catfish to come knocking on my door with some guy looking for this woman he has been talking to!! LOL!! It is not really funny, it is really sad. But I think I would invite them in and sit down with some popcorn and watch the show!!! Let her try to lie her way out of that one. I have no proof of anything, but I have found things that make me believe this stuff is going on.

When these WAS's play this particular online cheating game it would be so easy to set them up. Set them up with a date and get them to go all the way through with it, caught on tape. See them try to lie out of that one.

[DaddyLongShanks]

I 'think' it may not have become PA at this point because the OM lives out of state, and everything is in that online fantasy world where everything is perfect.

Does she have any other OM's she talks to?

[Joe46]

I completely agree!! I would like to see the look on her face as I am standing there watching!! Actually I would grab some of her things and put them in a bag and hand the stuff to the guy and say GOOD LUCK!!!

[Burger]

There are other OM's that she talks too from the game as well. I'm not sure how many of those have become outside the game friends.

[Burger]

It seems like every afternoon after lunch I get really sad. Not sure what triggers it, my mind just wanders into places it shouldn't. Anyone have any tips on how to combat this?

[Sotto]

I recommend pudding after lunch, Burger. Cheers me right up every time!

No, seriously - do you mean if you are at work, outside work or both? Maybe have a think about changing your routine. Get out for a walk after lunch or plan some errands or a meeting. Part of coping with our sitches is getting to understand what makes things feel worse and planning/doing things to improve that.

I struggle if I get home at say 4pm, and there's a whole evening at home ahead of me. So, I try to either be out or busy until around six - and feel okay from then on...

[Burger]

oh, i do like pudding! Good idea Toots.

Typically it's when I eat lunch with my team and then head back to my desk. I'm thinking next week I'm going to try skipping lunch with them.

I've thought joining the onsite fitness center. Maybe that would be a better place to spend my lunch time.

[Burger]

We had a game last night. I have been avoiding the games with her mostly. However she asked me to go to the one last night with her, and after a rough week I thought it might be nice to spend a little time with her.

I tried to set no expectations but I must have been fooling myself. She hardly looked at me the entire game. Only talk was about the game. Just was not a fun time, even though we won. Then it was home and as usual, she couldn’t wait to get back into her fantasy game land. I think I need to take a game or two off.

She also seems quite sad the last couple of days.

[Burger]

I've been getting a lot of advice to give up and leave her. I have to keep reminding myself of the DR book and that friends usually only have what gets me better quickest in mind, not what is best for me long term.

I did reach out to a friend today who told me to keep 'holding the line' as long as I can. Wait until I reach the point that there is no hope of recovery.

Don't know that I have a point. Just wanted to journal this down.

[sandi2]

Your friends may truly want what's best for you in the long run, but it's very difficult for them not to be biased b/c they care for you. Family/relatives are the same way.