Why? We are here, and we are listening. You are not alone. I hate to admit this, but I had just written a long post to you.....and I accidentally deleted it. I don't think I have the energy for another one right now. Wasn't really saying anything new. Just reminding you how you can't reason with a WW. How she will twist the facts around, turn it on you, stretch it, have a pity party.....on & on.
She is going to react to anything you say at this point. She will test you and she will swing from one end to the other. Do not let it sway your decision. Your children need your protection from this type of business being conducted in their home. You need it completely gone in order to have a chance of a healthy M. Even if she continued in a different location, you would know what she's doing with other men. You would still have the same problems in the MR.
Right now, she doesn't want to see it, doesn't want to believe it or accept your terms.
When she makes statements about how you make her feel like a bad person, etc., just let her spew. Do not even attempt to set her straight. Do not attend her pity party! She wants to see all of this through the vision she chooses, which is not accurate.
You can't change her mind through talk. Just can't do it. If it were possible, every LBH on this board would be talking nonstop. Some do it anyway, but to no avail.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Dang it Sandi!! I love your posts!! No more deleting them before you send them to me! LOL!! You have helped me a ton. Thank You for that. So far I have detached alot. I feel alot better about standing up to what I think is right no matter the outcome. This is how I used to be. I have let her blame me for all of these problems lately. I have struggled so much with what to do. It wasn't until I came here that I began to see what I needed to do for myself. I know I have my issues to work on, but I know it is not my fault she has decided this type of lifestyle or that she has chose to talk to other men. And I do believe she has been texting someone. Why else would she hide the cell phone account so much??? But it doesn't matter. In a few days I am getting my own cell phone account:)
Me:44 EXW 44 Wonderful Children M11, T14 BD 6/14 OM Confirmed Divorce Final 2/25/16 "It works if you work it!"
I was thinking about checking in with my own post, but I could not think of what to write about. I am just chugging along. Kinda lost at the moment. Been reading everyone else's posts. Still very confused about how my wife can walk around acting like nothing is wrong. Maybe she is DBing me!! LOL! Doubt it. Think she really doesn't care. I am still acting happy and confident. I did buy myself some Act body spray!! I must admit, I do smell good! Not that I smelled bad before!! LOL!!
Me:44 EXW 44 Wonderful Children M11, T14 BD 6/14 OM Confirmed Divorce Final 2/25/16 "It works if you work it!"
I was just rambling to myself. I felt like I should update my own status, but did not know what to write about.
The cell phones are under her name. She pays the cell phone bill.
I know cadet posted something to me about the quote thing, but I still don't get how to quote just a few sentences. LOL! I am just not a good computer guy.
I was feeling a little confused today about how my wife can go from being totally attracted to me, kissing and hugging me and having great sex, to nothing!! It is weird. For about a month, she couldn't keep her hands off me. Actually most of the summer!!!
Me:44 EXW 44 Wonderful Children M11, T14 BD 6/14 OM Confirmed Divorce Final 2/25/16 "It works if you work it!"
I know cadet posted something to me about the quote thing, but I still don't get how to quote just a few sentences. LOL! I am just not a good computer guy.
Oh you have been using the quote boxes fine. I remember him explaining why your thread locked.
Don't feel bad, I had never used a public forum in life when I came here. Talk about green!
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
I have never used one either. I'm a forum virgin!!
I am still confused on my wife's statement when she was throwing a fit last Sunday night after I told her about my boundary with her job. " I wish you would have changed years ago instead of now. Now I am the bad person"?????
Me:44 EXW 44 Wonderful Children M11, T14 BD 6/14 OM Confirmed Divorce Final 2/25/16 "It works if you work it!"
You think she is the only woman who has said those words? Joe, listen to what I am telling you. It is not you.....it's her. She is still reading from the WW script. If you follow most newcomers when they first start doing effective 180's, and especially when things become a little uncomfortable for the W, this is what she will say.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
I know cadet posted something to me about the quote thing, but I still don't get how to quote just a few sentences. LOL! I am just not a good computer guy.
Practice!
In your last thread this is the post about quoting #2540533 - 02/20/15 11:19 AM
How to quote
Simplest method to quote is to use the quote button at the bottom.
Next method is to copy what you want to quote and use the fifth button from the right in REPLY mode, insert text between brackets.
Last and hardest method is to type I have left out the trailing bracket so you can see what to type.
[quote=Joe]How to quote[/quote
Use the PREVIEW POST button before you hit submit so you can see what your post will look like.
