Part 15 - a blue edz rising

[edz]

Hi gan

No worries happy to help anyone who's sitch is pushing them down.

Heading into month 8 here matey some things are very good (r with s) some showing signs of potential optimism. Compared with a lot of sitches I have a lot to be thankful for. I dont know what the futures going to bring, I have some warm contact with w right now I hope that leads to better days I just need to make sure impatience doesn't get the better of me and I keep the expectations under control.

We shall of course see.

[Ggrass]

Evening/morning, Edz and Gg. If you have some time, please head over and offer some support for Old Dog. I think he could use some.

Sorry gan, I went to bed, something different for me alas alone! but who know what's around the corner.

[edz]

You are a devil gg

[Vanilla]

Devil in disguise of a lambie.

Edz, you know that you catch more flies with honey than vinegar right?

V

[edz]

Ok so this evening I'm not blue, not down, not fretting but I'm feeling..nervous and I dont fully understand why? If w is serious and is willing to spend time with me thats good, I'm not placing huge expectations on anything so whats this feeling all about?

Argh!

[edz]

Edz, you know that you catch more flies with honey than vinegar right?

V

I'm trying v, I'm trying

[edz]

Well an early start today as I need to get myself together and get s up for breakfast before I start work.

Another disturbed night. Checked in on s last night tucked him in and gave him a kiss on the head and heard him snuffling then I headed off for bed.

.. And had a wrestless 2 hours before getting to sleep.

Too much in the old noggin at the mo. Not sure why though, unless w is misleading me and I have no reason to believe she is, there are good things happening right now. S here more often. Spent time with them both on Monday talking about (if not having a firm date) to go to dinner together. This is all good, right?

So why discombobulated?

Mmmm...

Anyway got to get moving again. Need to get coffee for me on and pancakes for s on!

Will post later.

[Ggrass]

The good stuff keeps you attached.

In my case I'm glad he's gone. I couldn't do the limbo, it was just too tough, for me. Far too tough.

Then too we did the whole cooling off at times too, but our stich allowed for that as well.

It's very hard not to have expectations, I am having that same drama with blokes I'm meeting. I expect them to want to move things forward.

Most seem to struggle to man up.

[edz]

Trying to get s settled to do his work today, lots of resistance exactly as I saw at the flat. We shall see what can be done, in the space of a day while Im working anyway.

Nothing from w but then if she's having her hair done would expect anything.

Upped to 60 reps this morning think thats the limit for a while although at least I can now walk afterwards which is improvement!

[edz]

Morning Gg

depending on what you're looking for we are out here you may need to set out on an expedition to find us at times though (If you think you've heard something like that its a currupted quote from L.A.Story )

I know what you mean about attachment, the odd thing is Im not feeling upset or worrying about things as I was back in November / December it's strange like free floating anxiety.

Maybe its just things moving on is unsettling me also sensing there's something (no idea good or bad) on the horizon. I see keeping my expectations in check is going to be the challenge in the short term!